9/11 Mastermind Caught!

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Praise Jesus, such a day has come! Today, I have the pleasure of announcing that the mastermind of the 9/11 Attacks on Humanity has been caught and confessed!

Now I want to hear an apology from every Bush administration doubters who have whined for the past 3 years about "why are we in Iraq", and "why have we given up on finding Osama Bin Laden"! We just couldn't talk about it until now, because we don't want to feed the terrorists our plans.

So far he has confessed to 30 attacks. Thirty! This man is practically responsible for every crime against America in the past 20 years! And this is just the beginning -- I foresee many, many more confessions coming from this evil man before God sees fit to have him sent home to judgment...

Now if we can just get those screws on his man-jumblies tightened up a bit, then we can get a confession about the Democrats having funded 9/11......

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: 9/11 Mastermind Caught!

Demoncrat saboteurs have crashed the page. A cover-up!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: 9/11 Mastermind Caught!

Praise Jesus, such a day has come! Today, I have the pleasure of announcing that the mastermind of the 9/11 Attacks on Humanity has been caught and confessed!

Now I want to hear an apology from every Bush administration doubters who have whined for the past 3 years about "why are we in Iraq", and "why have we given up on finding Osama Bin Laden"! We just couldn't talk about it until now, because we don't want to feed the terrorists our plans.

So far he has confessed to 30 attacks. Thirty! This man is practically responsible for every crime against America in the past 20 years! And this is just the beginning -- I foresee many, many more confessions coming from this evil man before God sees fit to have him sent home to judgment...

Now if we can just get those screws on his man-jumblies tightened up a bit, then we can get a confession about the Democrats having funded 9/11......

Link

Apparently waterboarding works like a charm, just like our Godly president was told it would! God bless that wetback attorney General who does GWB's gardening.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: 9/11 Mastermind Caught!

Demoncrat saboteurs have crashed the page. A cover-up!

Not only that, but the URL looks very suspicious...

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: 9/11 Mastermind Caught!

Praise Jesus, such a day has come! Today, I have the pleasure of announcing that the mastermind of the 9/11 Attacks on Humanity has been caught and confessed!

Now if we can just get those screws on his man-jumblies tightened up a bit, then we can get a confession about the Democrats having funded 9/11......

This calls for a special affirmation prayer this weekend! I know our members will pledge 110% support for president/savior Bush. I am confident that we'll have Sadam Binladen's head soon.

As for the jumblies . . . thank you for using such a cute and discreet word to describe those evil accompaniments to the obscene pickle part. Tazer those tater tots till the terrorists talk! ENTHUSIASTIC GLENDORA

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: 9/11 Mastermind Caught!

Hmm it would appear that the link has been terrorized! Could a pastor change that (or just delete it?). Thanks!


*Ask, and ye shall receive. /PD*

[Chezund Rice]

Re: 9/11 Mastermind Caught!

Why did it take almost 4 years to get these confessions? America is being way to nice in the way we torture children to get their parents to confess.

News Item March 10 2003 -
Two young sons of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the suspected mastermind of the September 11 attacks, are being used by the CIA to force their father to talk.
Yousef al-Khalid, 9, and his brother, Abed al-Khalid, 7, were taken into custody in Pakistan in September when intelligence officers raided a flat in Karachi where their father had been hiding.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: 9/11 Mastermind Caught!

News Item March 10 2003 -
Two young sons of Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, the suspected mastermind of the September 11 attacks, are being used by the CIA to force their father to talk.
Yousef al-Khalid, 9, and his brother, Abed al-Khalid, 7, were taken into custody in Pakistan in September when intelligence officers raided a flat in Karachi where their father had been hiding.

Praise Jesus! I hope the boys in GITMO are waterboarding those two miniature terrorists too. Who knows what more information we can get out of this situation!

[Mrs. Mary Whitford]

Re: 9/11 Mastermind Caught!

I haven't heard anything about how he communicated and colluded with Hitlery Clinton and Osama Barak. Are we sure he was interrogated strongly enough? But I guess they're not finished yet, so there's still time.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: 9/11 Mastermind Caught!

The way I understand it, and I am no expert in this (yet), but torture takes time, so the longer that it goes on, the more likely that totally accurate information will be uncovered. Just give it time, Sister, and more information will be forthcoming....

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: 9/11 Mastermind Caught!

Praise JESUS! It is my pleasure to announce that once again the terrorists have been brought to Justice:

The bomber of the USS Cole has confessed! If this isn't proof that torture is the best tool we have for finding those responsible, I don't know what is! Let's keep those screws turning, boys. Support the troops! I'm still waiting for the confession that the Demoncratic Party has funded all of these attacks.... Remember, you can deliver more power by using gold-plated electrodes on the genitals instead of the cheaper aluminum or copper attachments that are too common these days....