Turning Iraq into Freehold!

[Brother Temperance]

Yes, it's true: Jesus and George Bush plan to put an end to this nasty insurgency business by (intelligently) redesigning Baghdad so it more closely resembles Freehold. Praise!

Faced with an ever-more ruthless insurgency in Baghdad - despite President George Bush's "surge" in troops - US forces in the city are now planning a massive and highly controversial counter-insurgency operation that will seal off vast areas of the city, enclosing whole neighbourhoods with barricades and allowing only Iraqis with newly issued ID cards to enter.
The campaign of "gated communities" - whose genesis was in the Vietnam War - will involve up to 30 of the city's 89 official districts and will be the most ambitious counter-insurgency programme yet mounted by the US in Iraq.
The system has been used - and has met with spectacular delayed success - in the past, and its inauguration in Iraq is as much a sign of American desperation at the country's continued descent into civil conflict as it is of US determination to "win" the war against an Iraqi insurgency that has cost the lives of more than 3,200 American troops. The system of "gating" areas under foreign occupation freedom succeeded during the French war against FLN insurgents in Algeria and again during the American war in Vietnam. Israel has employed similar practices during its occupation of Palestinian territory - again, with a success that hasn't occurred yet.
But the campaign has far wider military ambitions than the pacification of Baghdad. It now appears that the US military intends to place as many as five mechanised brigades - comprising about 40,000 men - south and east of Baghdad, at least three of them positioned between the capital and the Iranian border. This would present Iran with a powerful - and potentially aggressive - American military force close to its border in the event of a US or Israeli military strike against its nuclear facilities later this year.
...
The initial emphasis of the new American plan will be placed on securing Baghdad market places and predominantly Shia Muslim areas. Arrests of men of military age will be substantial. The ID card project is based upon a system adopted in the city of Tal Afar by General Petraeus's men - and specifically by Colonel H R McMaster, of the 3rd Armoured Cavalry Regiment - in early 2005, when an eight-foot "berm" was built around the town to prevent the movement of gunmen and weapons. General Petraeus regarded the campaign as a success although Tal Afar, close to the Syrian border, has since fallen back into insurgent control.
So far, the Baghdad campaign has involved only the creation of a few US positions within several civilian areas of the city but the new project will involve joint American and Iraqi "support bases" in nine of the 30 districts to be "gated" off. From these bases - in fortified buildings - US-Iraqi forces will supposedly clear militias from civilian streets which will then be walled off and the occupants issued with ID cards. Only the occupants will be allowed into these "gated communities" and there will be continuous patrolling by US-Iraqi forces. There are likely to be pass systems, "visitor" registration and restrictions on movement outside the "gated communities". Civilians may find themselves inside a "controlled population" prison...
FM 3-24 is harsh in its analysis of what counter-insurgency forces must do to eliminate violence in Iraq. "With good intelligence," it says, "counter-insurgents are like surgeons cutting out cancerous tissue while keeping other vital organs intact." But another former senior US officer has produced his own pessimistic conclusions about the "gated" neighbourhood project.
"Once the additional troops are in place the insurrectionists will cut the lines of communication from Kuwait to the greatest extent they are able," he told The Independent. "They will do the same inside Baghdad, forcing more use of helicopters. The helicopters will be vulnerable coming into the patrol bases, and the enemy will destroy as many as they can. The second part of their plan will be to attempt to destroy one of the patrol bases. They will begin that process by utilising their people inside the 'gated communities' to help them enter. They will choose bases where the Iraqi troops either will not fight or will actually support them.
"The American reaction will be to use massive firepower, which will destroy the neighbourhood that is being 'protected'."
The ex-officer's fears for American helicopter crews were re-emphasised yesterday when a military Apache was shot down over central Baghdad.
The American's son is an officer currently serving in Baghdad. "The only chance the American military has to withdraw with any kind of tactical authority in the future is to take substantial casualties as a token of their respect for the situation created by the invasion," he said.
"The effort to create some order out of the chaos and the willingness to take casualties to do so will leave some residual respect for the Americans as they leave."

There's more to that story, but who needs to read more tedious liberal jabber when the glory of this fail-proof plan is so self-evident? They can talk about Vietnam and Algeria all they like, but it is clear that the real prototype for these "gated communities" is Freehold, Iowa. We promised to bring these sand monkeys freedom and the American way of life, and gated communities are just about as free and democratic as you can get! Glory!

For those wishing to learn more about this plan, here's an article about how the insurgency in Tal Afar was crushed.

[H. Montague Worthington]

Re: Turning Iraq into Freehold!

I will not consider Our Godly Struggle To Defeat the Satanic Forces of Islamofascism™ a success until every mosque is reduced to rubble and replaced with Olive Gardens.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Turning Iraq into Freehold!

I will not consider Our Godly Struggle To Defeat the Satanic Forces of Islamofascism™ a success until every mosque is reduced to rubble and replaced with Olive Gardens.

I see that once again, Brother Monty's keen business acumen is detecting an opportunity for expanding Jesus' net worth. Praise!

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: Turning Iraq into Freehold!

I will not consider Our Godly Struggle To Defeat the Satanic Forces of Islamofascism™ a success until every mosque is reduced to rubble and replaced with Olive Gardens.

Brother Worthington,

I am in full agreeance with this statement. My Commanding Officer once said something very similiar. He was soon hit by a mortar delivered by none other than hadji and his little mooselimb dune coon friends. He was a good man. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that we need to nuke the entire region as soon as possible.

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: Turning Iraq into Freehold!

Brother Worthington,

I am in full agreeance with this statement. My Commanding Officer once said something very similar. He was soon hit by a mortar delivered by none other than hadji and his little mooselimb dune coon friends. He was a good man. Anyway, the point I'm trying to make is that we need to nuke the entire region as soon as possible.

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

Welcome to LBC, Warrior. Either I forgot to turn on the air conditioner or I'm feeling a bit flustered by the presence of such a Godly example red blooded American superiority (forgive me Jesus). Anyway, I agree with the nuklular option, and I would also support the idea of selling the remains to Godly Wal-Mart so we can build a Wal-Mart nation from the ground up!

[Warrior in Christ]

Re: Turning Iraq into Freehold!

Welcome to LBC, Warrior. Either I forgot to turn on the air conditioner or I'm feeling a bit flustered by the presence of such a Godly example red blooded American superiority (forgive me Jesus). Anyway, I agree with the nuklular option, and I would also support the idea of selling the remains to Godly Wal-Mart so we can build a Wal-Mart nation from the ground up!

Thank you for you kind welcome Sister, I appreciate the amount of love and compassion that True Christians™ have for newcomers such as myself. I only hope that we can help Jesus by speeding up the deaths of those who work through satan. Walmart would definitely make a nice addition to Iraq. From what I've seen, it needs a lot of work.

God Bless,

Warrior in Christ

[Pastor Bob]

Re: Turning Iraq into Freehold!

When will the lieberals confess that the whole Iraqistan situation is the fault of the ungodly Bill Clinton.

If Bill Clinton would have captured Osama Bin Laden when the Sudanese government offered to hand the terrorist over to him, then Bin laden would never had had the chance to help his buddy, Saddam Hussien, develop the weapons of mass destruction (that have been smuggled in Syria and Iran by Al-Sadr).

But instead Bill Clinton was only concerned about sinning with interns and not the Freedom of the citizens of the USA.

PB