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  • I had a nightmare last night..

    In the nightmare I found myself nude in bed, and I was looking at a mirror on the ceiling, and I discovered that I am a Negro and I'm circumcised!
    Quickly I sat up, found my pants and looked in the pockets to find my driver's license photo and it was that same color. Black.

    I felt myself being very depressed, downcast, sitting in a chair.

    But it's a wheelchair!!

    That means, of course, besides being black and Jewish, I'm also disabled!!!

    I said to myself aloud, “This is impossible. It's impossible that I should be black, Jewish and disabled.”

    “It's the pure and holy truth,” whispers someone from behind me. I turn around and it's my boyfriend.

    Just what I needed!!!


    I am a homosexual and on top of that with a Mexican boyfriend.

    Oh, my God ... black, Jewish, disabled, gay, with a Mexican boyfriend, a drug addict and HIV-positive!!!

    Desperate, I begin to shout, cry, pull my hair and Oh, Noooooo ... I'm bald!!!

    The telephone rings.

    It's my brother. He is saying, “Since mom and dad died the only thing you do is hang out, take drugs and laze around all day doing nothing. Get a job you worthless piece of **** ... any job..”

    Mom?... Dad?... Nooooooooo.... Now I'm also an unemployed orphan!

    I try to explain to my brother how hard it is to find a job when you are black, Jewish, disabled, gay with a Mexican boyfriend, are a drug addict, HIV positive, bald and an orphan.

    But he doesn't get it.

    Frustrated, I hang up.

    It's then I realize I only have one hand!!!

    With tears in my eyes I go to the window to look out.

    I see I live in a shanty-town full of cardboard and tin houses!There is trash everywhere.

    Suddenly I feel a sharp pain near my pacemaker ..... pacemaker?

    Besides being black, Jewish, disabled, a fairy with a Mexican boyfriend, a drug addict, HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, an invalid with one hand and having a bad heart, I live in a crappy neighborhood.

    At that very moment my boyfriend approaches and says to me, “Sweetie pie, my love, my little black heart throb, have you decided what you are going to wear to
    Washington to see Obama?”

    Say it isn't so!!! I can handle being a black, disabled, one-armed, drug-addicted, Jewish homosexual on a pacemaker who is HIV positive, bald, orphaned, unemployed, lives in a slum and has a Mexican boyfriend, but please, Oh, Dear GOD, please don't tell me I'm a Democrat!


    Please pray for it not to return..
    Brother Quest
    "And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now. This beginning of miracles did Jesus in Cana of Galilee, and manifested forth His glory; and His disciples believed on Him" (John 2:10-11 KJV)

  • #2
    Re: I had a nightmare last night..

    Was'Salamun Aleykum.

    What was the point of this post?
    Surah 4:169 O people of the Book! do not exceed in your religion, nor say against God aught save the truth. The Messiah, Jesus the son of Mary, is but the apostle of God ... say not "Trinity." Desist! it will be better for you. God is only one God, far be it for Him that He should beget a Son!

    Comment


    • #3
      Re: I had a nightmare last night..

      I believe us Christians like a good laugh from time to time..
      I'm sure a bomb makin raghead like you wouldn't understand tho.
      "And saith unto him, Every man at the beginning doth set forth good wine; and when men have well drunk, then that which is worse: but thou hast kept the good wine until now. This beginning of miracles did Jesus in Cana of Galilee, and manifested forth His glory; and His disciples believed on Him" (John 2:10-11 KJV)

      Comment


      • #4
        Re: I had a nightmare last night..

        I had a nightmare last month in which Ralph Nader was elected president instead of Obama. And once in office, Nader started cracking down on corporate fraud, slave labor, air pollution, dangerous consumer products, and so on. Plus, he pushed through a law authorizing "card check," making it easy for employees to unionize. He made Al Gore chief of the EPA. Then Nader changed the tax laws so that billionaires had to pay their fair share.

        When I woke up, I was in a cold sweat and my heart was pounding like a jackhammer. My Cambodian Bible student, who happened to be taking a nap next to me, had to administer CPR. Then she got dressed and quickly rushed me to the emergency room. I had to be pumped full of tranquilizers.


        Cambodian Bible student
        administering CPR


        Now I take dream-suppressing medication, and see a behavior modification therapist every week so that I only think happy thoughts (like owning Fort Knox, for example) before going to bed. I feel much better.

        It's horrible when Satan haunts us even in our dreams.

        Praise Jesus!
        Brother Fred
        Praise Jesus!
        Brother Fred
        CEO, The Uranus Corporation
        Put your faith in Uranus!

        sigpic

        Comment


        • #5
          Re: I had a nightmare last night..

          Originally posted by Brother Quest View Post
          I believe us Christians like a good laugh from time to time..
          I'm sure a bomb makin raghead like you wouldn't understand tho.
          THey get their laughs blowing up airplanes.

          Comment


          • #6
            Re: I had a nightmare last night..

            Originally posted by Free Market Fred View Post
            I had a nightmare last month in which Ralph Nader was elected president instead of Obama. And once in office, Nader started cracking down on corporate fraud, slave labor, air pollution, dangerous consumer products, and so on. Plus, he pushed through a law authorizing "card check," making it easy for employees to unionize. He made Al Gore chief of the EPA. Then Nader changed the tax laws so that billionaires had to pay their fair share.

            When I woke up, I was in a cold sweat and my heart was pounding like a jackhammer. My Cambodian Bible student, who happened to be taking a nap next to me, had to administer CPR. Then she got dressed and quickly rushed me to the emergency room. I had to be pumped full of tranquilizers.


            Cambodian Bible student
            administering CPR


            Now I take dream-suppressing medication, and see a behavior modification therapist every week so that I only think happy thoughts (like owning Fort Knox, for example) before going to bed. I feel much better.

            It's horrible when Satan haunts us even in our dreams.

            Praise Jesus!
            Brother Fred
            Looking for a good Bible student. I had a 18 year old Mexican Bible student but it seems there was some irregularity with her green card and she was sent back. I was wondering if I could borrow your Cambodian?

            Comment


            • #7
              Re: I had a nightmare last night..

              Originally posted by Aristotle View Post
              Looking for a good Bible student. I had a 18 year old Mexican Bible student but it seems there was some irregularity with her green card and she was sent back. I was wondering if I could borrow your Cambodian?
              Erh, my student is kind of busy. Studying the Bible is practically a full-time job, you know.

              However, if you've got a little vacation time, I can supply you with a few useful addresses in Phnom Penh. You can rent a Bible student for $10/hour at this classy establishment:



              If that's outside your budget, it's only half price at this place across the street:



              Talk to the girls' employers, about bringing a Cambodian student back to the USA. They can give you an accurate estimate, including purchase price, shipping, handling, paperwork - everything. These guys are just so efficient - they could teach our government a few things about how to run an organization.

              Praise Jesus!
              Brother Fred
              Praise Jesus!
              Brother Fred
              CEO, The Uranus Corporation
              Put your faith in Uranus!

              sigpic

              Comment

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