Training Negroes to Vote Republican

[H. Montague Worthington]

It is a mystery to me why the Negroes have turned their whip-scarred backs on the Godly Republicans. After all, it was Republican Abraham Lincoln that gave them the freedom to be lynched and attend separate schools. George W. Bush has hired more of those "people" to big important government jobs, like Condoleeza Rice, Colin Powell, Alphonzo Jackson, and John Negroponte. I am told they are very entertaining in Cabinet meetings, taking the edge off of tense subjects with their big smiles, jolly attitude, and a cheerful tap dance to amuse their White superiors.

But if these 3/5 humans can be trained to drive cars, form simple sentences, and play piano, why in the world can't we train them to select the correct lever when they go into the voting booth? I know they're very lazy and not very good at reading, but can't they tell the difference between a "D" and an "R??!!??"

We need to develop a strategy for tricking them into voting for Republicans. I suggest offering them fried chicken or basketball shoes.

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: Training Negroes to Vote Republican

Can I get an A-MEN for Brother Worthington!?

Sound ideas they are. But understand that the laziest of Negroidians likes to vote them Dumbocraps because they like to butt-sniff their votes out with their so called "political correctness" They tempt them with free welfare so I think we know why those Dumbos has seduced them Auntie Jemimahs and Uncle Bens to vote the devil's party.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Training Negroes to Vote Republican

Amen Brother Worthington! These ungrateful heathen negras thumb their noses at the Godly Republican party that freed them and refused to act on President Lincoln's gracious offer to return them to their homeland. They seemed to have sat around on their porches for the last 150 years selling themselves to the highest bidder, something they must have picked up on their way over here.

I think you are on the something with the basketball shoe idea. They do seem to take a shine to the ones with the blinking LEDs in the heels. This would be additionally beneficial in tracking them at night during their pie stealing activities.

[stealtfc (On Moderation)]

Re: Training Negroes to Vote Republican

offer to return? He wanted to FORCE them back. He freed them, because he didn't want them in the country.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: Training Negroes to Vote Republican

We've tried so many things, Brother Worthington — from finding more appropriate locations for polling places to redesigning ballots to enforcing voter-fraud laws so that those Negroes who want to cast an honest vote will be free to do so. But just see how they show us their gratitude.

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Training Negroes to Vote Republican

offer to return? He wanted to FORCE them back. He freed them, because he didn't want them in the country.

I see we have another imbecile that does not know his history.

Cite your references for your stupid assertions.

[Virginia Day Templeton]

Re: Training Negroes to Vote Republican

Well, I think we can safely give up on trying to make them actually understand the issues. To the average Negro, Al Qaeda sounds like the name of a repo man, and they only time they care about Gitmo is when they "gotta git mo' watermelons!"