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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #1

    Thank God Jena's Not A Lezbean!!

    Praise Jesus and Hallelujah!! At least one of our Godly President's lovely twin daughters are 100% normal woman. Take a look at THIS! My comments are highlighted in red.

    Jenna Bush's boyfriend proposed on hike

    WASHINGTON - Jenna Bush said her "boyfriend" — she doesn't like the word "fiancé" — proposed after rousting her at 4 a.m. to go hiking on Cadillac Mountain in Acadia National Park in Maine.

    Praise Jesus, her fiancé chose a good American mountain to propose on! God loves a Cadillac!

    "It's supposedly where the sun first hits the United States," President Bush's daughter said in a television interview about her recent engagement to her longtime boyfriend, Henry Hager.

    Further evidence that God loves America over all other lands! How romantic!

    "I did not want to go hiking at 4 in the morning," she said. "It was freezing. But we got up, and we hiked in the dark for an hour and a half, and then when we got towards the top, with the sunrise, he asked me."

    Praise Jesus she knows how to follow orders too!

    In an interview that will be broadcast Friday on ABC News' "20/20," Jenna Bush, a 25-year-old elementary school teacher, described Hager as "smart," a "hard worker," "Christian-minded," "fun" and "very masculine."

    Leave it to a Bush daughter to pick a smart one!

    Hager, 29, who has been a White House aide and worked on Bush's re-election campaign, will be returning to school this fall to complete his master's degree in business administration at the University of Virginia. He has an undergraduate degree from Wake Forest University.

    He studied at the feet of God's personal choice for president!

    "He's extremely outdoorsy," she said. "If he could spend every day outside, he would. He's very into the environment, and he was as a child. He hiked a lot. And so, now he's trying to find a job where he can support the environment and, and be outdoors."

    Translation: He wants to be a hunting guide and weapons instructor.

    Jenna Bush agreed to an interview with Diane Sawyer to promote her new book, "Ana's Story." The nonfiction book is based on the life of a 17-year-old Latin American mother infected with HIV. She met the mother while working for UNICEF, teaching in four countries in Latin America and the Caribbean.

    That must be a knee-slapper! Right up there with "Levi, the Dancing Cockroach"!

    On other issues, Jenna Bush ducked a question about whether she agreed with her father about the war in Iraq, but she said she understood critics who argue that she and her twin sister, Barbara, should serve in Iraq.

    Of course she did! A proper Christian woman knows when to keep her mouth shut!

    "Obviously I understand that question and see what the point of that question is for sure. I think there are many ways to serve your country. "

    For example, getting married to one of her dad's assistant boot polishers!
    I know that you will all be pestering Pastor Pistle and I for an invitation to the wedding. Platinum Tithers and above can apply first.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
  • Brother Temperance
    Senior Usher
    True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
    A very nice young man
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 15621

    #2
    Re: Thank God Jena's Not A Lezbean!!

    Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
    Praise Jesus and Hallelujah!! At least one of our Godly President's lovely twin daughters are 100% normal woman. Take a look at THIS! My comments are highlighted in red.

    I know that you will all be pestering Pastor Pistle and I for an invitation to the wedding. Platinum Tithers and above can apply first.
    This part seemed a little wrong to me:
    On other issues, Jenna Bush ducked a question about whether she agreed with her father about the war in Iraq, but she said she understood critics who argue that she and her twin sister, Barbara, should serve in Iraq.
    A woman understanding something? Sorry, but I don't quite buy it.
    O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



    God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

    Comment

    • Wash O'Hanley
      Debate Moderator (and participant)
      Master Debater-- Has Never Been Defeated in a Debate
      Louder Than Reason
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 2126

      #3
      Re: Thank God Jena's Not A Lezbean!!

      Hopefully this will encourage young Jena to quit her job and take up more womanly duties like cleaning, bearing children, cooking and wearing dresses instead of pants.
      sigpic

      Comment

      • ilikecheese
        Confirmed Enemy of God
        BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
        • Oct 2007
        • 1

        #4
        Re: Thank God Jena's Not A Lezbean!!

        A. George Bush a stubborn, moronic president.
        B. Being a lesbian is NOT bad. I have several friends who happen to be a lesbian or bi. Don't condemn them for they way they've been since birth.

        Comment

        • Seeker
          Thank you Pastor Pistle!
          Forum Member
          • Aug 2007
          • 966

          #5
          Re: Thank God Jena's Not A Lezbean!!

          Cheddar got melted fast.

          If the Lord leads you to it, he will get you through it.

          Comment

          • Brother Temperance
            Senior Usher
            True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
            A very nice young man
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2006
            • 15621

            #6
            Re: Thank God Jena's Not A Lezbean!!

            Originally posted by ilikecheese View Post
            A. George Bush a stubborn, mormonic president.
            B. Being a lesbian is NOT bad. I have several friends who happen to be a lesbian or bi. Don't condemn them for they way they've been since birth.
            They've been interfering with the private parts of other women since they were born? Good grief, where do these people live? California? Norway?
            O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



            God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

            Comment

            • eliot mayfield
              God Squad
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 9324

              #7
              Re: Thank God Jena's Not A Lezbean!!

              since birth? I'm sure babies lay around swaddled up and thinking, hmmm I want to be a lesbian!
              Matthew:
              5:17 Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.
              5:18 For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled
              10:21 And the brother shall deliver up the brother to death, and the father the child: and the children shall rise up against their parents, and cause them to be put to death.
              10:34 Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.


              sigpic

              Comment

              • Nobar King
                Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
                Christ's Guardian
                True Christian™
                • Sep 2007
                • 23748

                #8
                Re: Thank God Jena's Not A Lezbean!!

                "He's extremely outdoorsy," she said. "If he could spend every day outside, he would. He's very into the environment, and he was as a child. He hiked a lot. And so, now he's trying to find a job where he can support the environment and, and be outdoors."
                Hopefully this doesn't mean that he's some kind of commie tree hugger.
                May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                Comment

                • H. Montague Worthington
                  True Christian™ Entrepreneur
                  True Christian™
                  • Sep 2006
                  • 2716

                  #9
                  Re: Thank God Jena's Not A Lezbean!!

                  I, for one, am relieved that Jenna is going to settle down as a housewife and pop out dozens of soldiers for Christ. See what fine examples of American womanhood come out from the upstanding morals taught by Republican parents? Meanwhile, DEMONcrat kids like algore's son are driving drunk from crackhouse to whorehouse in a disgusting display of the liberal lifestyle.

                  I have heard from sources I trust (RightWingNutjob.com) that Amy Carter and Chelsea Clinton have shacked up together in San Francisco in a lezbean whorehouse, servicing other lezbeans for cash and recruiting children as young as four into their larcenous lezbean lifestyle. Nancy Pelosi pulled some strings to get them favored treatment from the police, I read somewhere. And they burn Bibles and flags for heat.

                  Comment

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