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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #1

    Nigra "Country" Spits Coffee on Jesus

    In a futile effort to stop the Aids from being smited throughout the world of spear chuckers, the "country" of Ethiopiate is now handing out coffee flavored condoms. A reasonable Christian might well ask WHY a CONDOM would ever need to be FLAVORED!?

    Ethiopia tackles Aids with coffee-flavour condoms

    Doctors have long argued about the health effects of coffee, but its reputation seems likely to receive a boost thanks to a flavoured condom that aims to encourage safer sex in Ethiopia.
    Around 300,000 of the coffee condoms were sold in a week when they were launched in September, according to the US charity DKT International.

    It hopes to tap into Ethiopia's coffee mania as a means to tackle high rates of HIV in the country, which is said to have invented the drink.

    The charity said that with 21% of Ethiopians infected with Aids - and more than 70% in the capital, Addis Ababa - the flavoured prophylactic was more than a novelty. "Everybody likes the flavour of coffee," said a spokeswoman.
    The condoms are sold in packs of three for 1 birr, or about about half the price of a cup of coffee in Addis Ababa's cafes, and much cheaper than most other condom brands.

    The dark brown condoms are made to smell like Ethiopia's popular macchiato, an espresso with a generous amount of cream and sugar.

    "It is about time to use an Ethiopian flavour for beautiful Ethiopian girls," said Dereje Alemu, 19, a university student.

    The product was developed after complaints by some users about the latex scent of plain condoms.

    DTK has introduced flavoured condoms in other parts of the world in an attempt to appeal to local tastes.

    These include condoms scented with the infamously stinky durian fruit in Indonesia, and sweetcorn-fragranced condoms in China. The charity's latest condom has attracted some criticism in deeply conservative Ethiopia.

    "It's inappropriate," said Bedilu Assefa, a spokesman for the Ethiopian Orthodox church, whose millions of followers are encouraged to abstain from sex outside marriage. "We're proud of our coffee."

    But even those not sold on the idea of coffee condoms recognise the importance of safe sex. "I hate coffee-flavoured condoms," said Tadesse Teferi, 37, a mechanic. "But I use ordinary condoms when I have sex with ladies other than my wife."
    I feel sick to my stomach.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
  • Nobar King
    Municipal Code Archivist - Deuteronomy 28:58
    Christ's Guardian
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2007
    • 23748

    #2
    Re: Nigra "Country" Spits Coffee on Jesus

    But even those not sold on the idea of coffee condoms recognise the importance of safe sex. "I hate coffee-flavoured condoms," said Tadesse Teferi, 37, a mechanic. "But I use ordinary condoms when I have sex with ladies other than my wife."
    He'll be lucky if his wife can't read.
    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

    Comment

    • Brother Temperance
      Senior Usher
      True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
      A very nice young man
      True Christian™
      • Sep 2006
      • 15621

      #3
      Re: Nigra "Country" Spits Coffee on Jesus

      Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
      He'll be lucky if his wife can't read.
      A ) She's African.
      B ) She's (probably) a woman.

      With that in mind, I'd say it'd be a miracle if his wife can read.
      O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



      God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

      Comment

      • Virginia Day Templeton
        Christ's Battle Axe
         
        • Dec 2006
        • 2827

        #4
        Re: Nigra "Country" Spits Coffee on Jesus

        Chinawomen have sideways cooters—perhaps nigresses have taste buds down there? Surely no one would ever want to put that... in their... mouth... right!?
        sigpic

        Comment

        • Sister Noddy
          True Christian™
          True Christian™
          • Jun 2007
          • 1843

          #5
          Re: Nigra "Country" Spits Coffee on Jesus

          "I hate coffee-flavoured condoms," said Tadesse Teferi, 37, a mechanic. "But I use ordinary condoms when I have sex with ladies other than my wife."
          My son-in-law hit the ceiling when he read this article, Pastors! He's gone on a rampage around the house, shouting and banging his Bible on the tables and chairs!

          Gosh I sure do hope he settles down soon, the whole neighborhood can hear him shouting, 'What's the world coming to, what's the world coming to!'

          The kids have gone to their room and locked their door! (noddy hiding in the prayer closet with laptop computer in the dark!)
          1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
          1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...


          1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...

          Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
          Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...

          Comment

          • lilith
            Night Hag
            • Sep 2006
            • 1232

            #6
            Re: Nigra "Country" Spits Coffee on Jesus

            "A reasonable Christian might well ask WHY a CONDOM would ever need to be FLAVORED!?"


            A) Which confirms everything I've ever suspected about Christians.

            The words "reasonable" &"Christian" do NOT belong in the same sentence.
            In order to be old & wise,you must first be young & stupid.

            Comment

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