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  • Daisy Mae Johnson
    The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
    Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
    aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 15708
    #1

    Are Demons in This Calculator Really Picking Your Best Candidate?

    Check out this Candidate calculator. Answer 30 questions on issues and it tells you which candidate is your best match.


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    I pressed a bunch of buttons and then at the end it told me that Richardson would be the best candidate for me....?

    The heck? I think demons are running the calculator.

    You guys try it and see what you get. I think I'm going back to the site and saying a prayer over it to send the Demons out.
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    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78555
      #2
      Re: Are Demons in This Calculator Really Picking Your Best Candid

      Mine said that I most closely agree with George W. Bush.

      The machine seems to be working fine to me....
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Dr. Zaius
          Member of Landover Zoological Society
          Forum Member
          • Jan 2008
          • 249
          #3
          Re: Are Demons in This Calculator Really Picking Your Best Candid

          I'm apparently a RonPaulianicrat. I have to admit, there were too many questions and I was getting overwhelmed. Just don't vote for ME for president.
          Ack!

            Comment

            • Brother Temperance
              Senior Usher
              True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
              A very nice young man
              True Christian™
              • Sep 2006
              • 15621
              #4
              Re: Are Demons in This Calculator Really Picking Your Best Candid

              There is definitely something screwy with that damned thing. It tried to tell me I was closest to Eugene V. Debs!

              GOD WILL NOT BE MOCKED!
              O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



              God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

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