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As the largest campaign fund donor to the Republican Party, my company has been having a difficult time deciding who to appoint to be president of the USA in the 2012 Diebold electronic election. It's really hard to choose, given the large number of excellent candidates such as Michelle Bachmann, Rick Perry, Newt Gingrich, and even that Negro, Robert Mugabe, who have all tossed their hats into the ring.
It's a pity they can't all be president under our currently flawed Constitution. I have considered getting our corporate members in Congress to introduce a Constitutional amendment changing the situation so that we could have a new president every month, chosen by the Executive Committee of the Fortune 500. That would save a lot of money on elections. But for now, we've got to stick to the rules that are currently in force.
Therefore, I am proud to announce my company's support for America's finest police officer, Lt. John Pike, who recently made headlines during his courageous fight against communist terrorists at UC Davis:
Lt. Pike disciplining long-haired gay terrorists
Lt. Pike Protecting America from commie subversive
Chink getting his due
F*ck PETA
With support from New York's Mayor & CEO Bloombergy, we are currently raising funds to rehabilitate the Statue of Liberty:
Give me your retired, your rich, your huddled bankers
yearning to breathe free of market regulation
I believe that Lt. John Pike will be our best presidential candidate ever since Joe-the-Plumber.
It's a pity they can't all be president under our currently flawed Constitution. I have considered getting our corporate members in Congress to introduce a Constitutional amendment changing the situation so that we could have a new president every month, chosen by the Executive Committee of the Fortune 500. That would save a lot of money on elections. But for now, we've got to stick to the rules that are currently in force.
Therefore, I am proud to announce my company's support for America's finest police officer, Lt. John Pike, who recently made headlines during his courageous fight against communist terrorists at UC Davis:
Lt. Pike disciplining long-haired gay terrorists
Lt. Pike Protecting America from commie subversive
Chink getting his due
F*ck PETA
With support from New York's Mayor & CEO Bloombergy, we are currently raising funds to rehabilitate the Statue of Liberty:
Give me your retired, your rich, your huddled bankers
yearning to breathe free of market regulation
I believe that Lt. John Pike will be our best presidential candidate ever since Joe-the-Plumber.
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