The Great Purification: Coming soon!

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

As the Romney-Ryan ticket charges toward the White House, and the "toss-ups" in the Senate race begin to fall toward Republicans, it appears we will regain control of two branches of government this November!

Given that four of the nine Supreme Court justices were born in the 1930s, and four of the remaining five are conservatives, we should have a compliant Court within another two years.

There are so many things to do, Brothers and Sisters. I submit for your approval a draft plan for the Great Purification of the United States of America:

2013:

• Federal law to ban abortion, making it a capital offense
• Federal law to ban sodomy, making it a capital offense
• Amend RLUIPA to confine its guarantees of religious freedom to Christian churches and congregations
• Federal law to require mandatory Bible readings and Christian prayers daily in all public schools
• Federal law cutting off Federal aid to schools that refuse to teach Creationism
• Begin drafting new constitution which enshrines Biblical law

2014:

• Implement Federal registry of sodomites. Use medical records to include all people with AIDS.
• Implement Federal registry of atheists, Unitarians, and non-Christians of all types. Use FBI to collect their information from their various organizations.
• Implement Federal registry of all harlots using birth control. Use medical records to include all unmarried women.
• Implement Federal registry of all Democrats, Liberals, Communists, Progressives, Greens, and Socialists, using party records.
• Launch public works program to ensure no child in an urban area has to walk more than 1/4 mile (1,320 feet) to reach a park, school, or a church playground. This effort will help encourage wholesome outdoor activity.

2015:

• Implement restrictions on all registered people; bar registered people from residence within 1,000 feet of a school, park, church, or other place where children congregate. Also bar from employment in schools, toy stores, day care, or any place they might reasonably be expected to have significant interaction with children.
• Establish residence locations for registered people and require them to move to these locations.
• Announce special deal with Canada and Mexico for registered persons to relocate to either country, permitted to sell their homes and take all their financial assets valued at less than $10M with them. Those with assets of less than $100,000 will receive government assistance in their move. Must renounce US citizenship to take advantage of this special deal.
• Begin ratification of new Christian Constitution.

2016:

• Begin deportation to Haiti or Guantanamo Bay of all registered persons who have not already taken advantage of the special government program. Complete deportation before November 2016.

What do you think? Is the timetable OK?

[LaQrundrellia]

Re: The Great Purification: Coming soon!

As the Romney-Ryan ticket charges toward the White House, and the "toss-ups" in the Senate race begin to fall toward Republicans, it appears we will regain control of two branches of government this November!

Given that four of the nine Supreme Court justices were born in the 1930s, and four of the remaining five are conservatives, we should have a compliant Court within another two years.

There are so many things to do, Brothers and Sisters. I submit for your approval a draft plan for the Great Purification of the United States of America:

2013:

• Federal law to ban abortion, making it a capital offense
• Federal law to ban sodomy, making it a capital offense
• Amend RLUIPA to confine its guarantees of religious freedom to Christian churches and congregations
• Federal law to require mandatory Bible readings and Christian prayers daily in all public schools
• Federal law cutting off Federal aid to schools that refuse to teach Creationism
• Begin drafting new constitution which enshrines Biblical law

2014:

• Implement Federal registry of sodomites. Use medical records to include all people with AIDS.
• Implement Federal registry of atheists, Unitarians, and non-Christians of all types.
• Implement Federal registry of all harlots using birth control.
• Implement Federal registry of all Democrats, Liberals, Communists, Progressives, Greens, and Socialists.
• Launch public works program to ensure no child in an urban area has to walk more than 1/4 mile (1,320 feet) to reach a park, school, or a church playground. This effort will help encourage wholesome outdoor activity.

2015:

• Implement restrictions on all registered people; bar from employment in schools, toy stores, day care, or any place they might reasonably be expected to have significant interaction with children. Bar registered people from residence within 1,000 feet of a school, park, church, or other place where children congregate.
• Establish residence locations for registered people and require them to move to these locations.
• Announce special deal with Canada and Mexico for registered persons to relocate to either country, permitted to sell their homes and take all their financial assets valued at less than $10M with them. Those with assets of less than $100,000 will receive government assistance in their move. Must renounce US citizenship to take advantage of this special deal.
• Begin ratification of new Christian Constitution.

2016:

• Begin deportation of all registered persons who have not already taken advantage of the special government program. Complete deportation before November 2016.

What do you think? Is the timetable OK?

Glory!

12 For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this world, against spiritual wickedness in high places.
Ephesians 6:12

[Wishindo]

Re: The Great Purification: Coming soon!

Doing this will almost certainly result in war, secession of states, and splitting of the U.S. into Jesusland and United States of Canada

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secession_in_the_United_States

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/jesusland

[Little Donkey]

Re: The Great Purification: Coming soon!

Hallelujah, we have so much to look forward to. But think about it - what is it we are ultimately here for? To welcome the 2nd coming of Christ and be among the chosen ascend to Heaven (and watch the rest of the Earth perish in flames and nucular holocaust the likes of which have never been seen). We need to get this plan moving as time is running out! An immediate invasion of Iran is a no-brainer, I can't bear the endless blah blah blah.

Occupy Israel (how ya like them apples joo bankers?), force all those lazy joos to rebuild the Third Temple. Nuke Syria, nuke Iraq (they'll never learn otherwise), nuke that other country that's always in the news - I don't remember (Kenya maybe?). Two terms of Romney/Ryan ought to be enough to see our Lord finally show himself. I figure he must be about 21-22 years old right now, waiting and watching for the right moment. If not, 4 more years until he comes. Another 4 after that if we need it.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: The Great Purification: Coming soon!

Doing this will almost certainly result in war, secession of states, and splitting of the U.S. into Jesusland and United States of Canada

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secession_in_the_United_States

http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/jesusland

Yes, I'm sure all the Americans in the Northeast and Northwest will want to secede. Perhaps you're unaware, but Canada has limited food production due to shorter seasons and lower temperatures--entirely ruling out things like citrus or peanuts--and nowhere near the energy wealth of the continental US . . . nearly all of which is located where? Oh, in "Jesusland".

Yes, I'm sure millions of Americans will want to secede and starve.