Republican voters guide

[Yea-tho-we-walk]

Well, election time is fast approaching, a home schooled Christian's worst nightmare. As we all know the ballots at the voting places are written by demons to confuse us real believers. Like the rest of us, when I look at a ballot, I see a lot of words and sometimes some numbers that, of course, don't make any sense, unless you are a demon or democrat (pretty much the same). I took some time out of Bible study to put together a quick guide to voting. The secret is carefully coded words on a ballot. Simply look for any of these words and as soon as you see one, vote no instantly with a check mark next to the evil word(s); stem cells; choice; recycling; wind power; solar; NPR; ecology; superfund clean-up; welfare; ANYTHING with the word health care in it; climate or anything 'green'. This is a good start, but I'm sure others can help out a bit more in this critical time.

Possibly we could use some tips for items to vote 'yes' on, oil; tax cuts; clear-cut; open pit mining; fetus; any words about 'drilling', etc.

[Little Donkey]

Re: Republican voters guide

That's already a lot of gobledygook to remember. That's why I hate voting. Why can't they make a column for the good guys and one for the bad guys? From watching the TV ads, some of these guys are pure evil so it'd be easy to set it up - I'd vote a straight good guy ticket.

[Carl the wop]

Re: Republican voters guide

I feel like I must post this inspired and inspiring letter to the editor of one of our local papers. It's a call to arms to ALL Christians to smite the Kenyan..

LETTER: Vote soon and help put nation on track to greatness

Published: Tuesday, October 23, 2012 at 19:49 PM.


In just a matter of days, one of the most important elections ever in the U.S. will be completed, and the outcome will be clear to all. Until then, a large portion of us will be praying to God, asking for His aid in restoring our nation to its prior status under His care and with His Blessings. The remaining unbelievers will be rubbing their rabbit’s foot, polishing their horseshoes, trying to locate four-leaf clovers or whatever they do when help is needed.
Even if someone doesn’t believe in one God, I struggle understanding why anyone would vote for the re-election of a person with the record of failures such as President Barack Obama (aka The Anti-Christ) has.
If anyone had ownership in a corporation, membership in a club, membership in a church or season tickets to a ball game, they would be screaming for the release of a CEO, manager, minister or coach that carried a four-year losing record. The office of president of the U.S. seems much more important to me than all the others combined.
President Obama can tell you he’s added 5 million jobs, but the record shows unemployment at the same rate as when he assumed office. Simple math and common sense will tell you if he’s added 5 million he must have also lost 5 million.
He will tell you about all the green energy companies he’s given our tax dollars to for future oil independence, a lot of which have failed.
He will tell you Al Qaeda is running away like a whipped dog while they are rebuilding and killing our people and our allies. He will tell you he called the Embassy attack in Libya a terrorist attack the next day while clearly he did not, and he waited two weeks before naming it as a terrorist attack. His administration also failed to give sufficient protection to the embassy.
He will tell you he did nothing wrong in the “Fast and Furious” scandal by allowing weapons into the hands of the Mexican drug cartel and then refusing records to be turned over to Congress.
He will tell you he is Christian while backing same-sex marriage and abortion.
He will probably offer free passes to everyone to “Big Rock Candy Mountain” if that will win votes.
Even though current polls show Romney/Ryan with a very small lead, this race is too close for comfort. Based on religious points alone, the percentage should favor Romney/Ryan by at least 60 to 40 percent.
I’ve already voted early for Romney/Ryan in this election, and you may have already cast your ballot, but if you haven’t, please vote soon and help put our country back on track to greatness.
Beauford Burton
Kings Mountain

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Republican voters guide

Just do what we always do in Freehold. The ladies give their voting cards to their men, then they all get turned in to me, and I see to it that all votes are recorded according to God's Plan, as revealed to me.