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  • Free Market Fred
    The Prophet of Profit, Now Giving Financial Advice to Jesus in Heaven
    True Christian™
    • Dec 2009
    • 803

    #1

    Peacemonger Obama Refuses to Build Death Star

    Demoncrats have always been "weak on defense," to put it mildly. Every time a Godly Republican president wants to bomb some pissant country back to the stone age, cowardly liberals crawl out of the woodwork to protest, hold candlelight vigils and otherwise demonstrate that they are treasonous homo-sissy cheese-eating surrender-monkeys (just like the French!).

    Meanwhile, America's enemies - such as Russia, Mexico and Canada - grow more bold by the day. They commit one atrocity after another, like refusing to sign free-trade agreements that would let the USA dominate the world economy for the next ten centuries, as God intended. Meanwhile, the Euroweenie Union continues to blather on about human rights, the global warming hoax, and other communist movements, the goal of which is to create a New World Order based on Islam, gay marriage and Obamacare.

    Considering all these facts, the following should hardly come as a surprise:

    White House Petition Urging Building of Death Star Rejected because ‘administration does not support blowing up planets’


    The online petition, created on 14 November 2012, urged the White House “to secure funding and resources, and begin construction on a Death Star by 2016″.

    It rationalised that “by focusing our defence resources into a space-superiority platform and weapon system such as a Death Star, the government can spur job creation in the fields of construction, engineering, space exploration and more, and strengthen our national defence”...

    ...Paul Shawcross, the head of the Science and Space Branch at the White House Office of Management and Budget, outlined the reasons why the White House was not planning to build a Death Star, an artificial planet used with devastating consequences in the Star Wars films.

    He said the estimated cost of $850 quadrillion would not help deficit reduction plans...
    That's just plain ridiculous! America could easily come up with the $850 quadrillion by eliminating Social Security, Medicare, unemployment insurance, food stamps, public schools and other wasteful spending. Another tax break for Wall Street bankers would also raise trillions, as it would give the job creators incentive to move their wealth out of the Cayman Islands and back to America.

    But noooo, all the liberals care about is providing free health care to illegal aliens, while our military has to pinch pennies and somehow protect our nation with no more than a 20% annual spending increase per year. Outrageous!


    Jesus would approve of building a Death Star

    Remember, every trillion dollars spent on defense creates dozens of jobs - some of which even go to Americans - while boosting my company's shareholder value. It's the best public-private partnership we have next to Wall Street bailouts - a big win-win for the USA!
    Praise Jesus!
    Brother Fred
    CEO, The Uranus Corporation
    Put your faith in Uranus!

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  • Billy Bob Jenkins
    Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
    About as Straight and Manly as you can get
    Hates anal sex. And trees.
    True Christian™
    • May 2010
    • 8337

    #2
    Re: Peacemonger Obama Refuses to Build Death Star

    I have always thought that mounting weapon systems in God's firmament would be tactically advantageous. Talk about seizing the high ground!

    Perhaps we could punch holes in the firmament over particularly sinful countries, so that the scathing light of Christ would incinerate its rump humping denizens, for them to be reconstituted in Hell repeatedly for all aeternity on the end of Satan's intumescent member. Glory to God!

    I take comfort that, while the United States falls into corruption, Christ has plans for the damned.
    The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

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    • WilliamJenningsBryan
      True Christian™
       
      • Jan 2007
      • 9384

      #3
      Re: Peacemonger Obama Refuses to Build Death Star

      Amen! I see this Death Star as having some payback. If we could zap the mooselimbs at will from the firmament we wouldn't have to be sending our troops all over the world. It would also put millions of Americans back to work – and then they could afford to buy their own food and health insurance. It would stimulate the economy and eliminate the deficits.

      But noooooo, Obama would rather have all Americans dependant on the government and keep the Democrats in power.
      Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
      brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
      ...and get off my lawn
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