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  • Free Market Fred
    The Prophet of Profit, Now Giving Financial Advice to Jesus in Heaven
    True Christian™
    • Dec 2009
    • 803

    #1

    Meteor strike - God sends message to Russia

    What a great week we've True Christians had! First, the Pope resigns because he got caught molesting kids (again!), and now God sends a message to Russia:

    Hundreds Hurt in Rare Russian Meteor Strike



    Personally, I think that God has been too quiet for too long, allowing the liberals to run rampant with their abortions, gay marriage, food stamps and minimum wage. God is getting pretty fed up, and if Obama and all the other Muslim Marxists in Washington don't pay heed, He's gonna dump the next big meteor right on the heads of their homo-liberal supporters in Hollywood.

    There is really own way to placate God, and I think it's obvious: He wants another big tax cut for the top 1% of wealthy Americans who create jobs for the riffraff. This could easily be funded by cutting waste like Social Security, Medicare, and public schools - in fact, we could save so much by eliminating these entitlement programs that we could fund at least a dozen new weapons programs that my company has proposed. Although the details are classified, I know that I can trust you, my fellow True Christians, with a sneak preview of some of the great new defense ideas that my company's ThinkTank will present to Congress. These weapons are absolutely essential for our nation's survival - if we don't build them, the Commies will!

    So without further ado...


    Double-barreled pistol


    Swiss Army Gun


    Jetman Flying Warrior


    Chainsaw Rifle


    Tank catapult


    Short-winged Aircraft (can fly through the forest!)


    Flying Aircraft Carrier


    Desert aircraft carrier.jpg


    Moon Nukes
    Praise Jesus!
    Brother Fred
    CEO, The Uranus Corporation
    Put your faith in Uranus!

    sigpic
  • Johny Joe Hold
    Mayor of Freehold
     
    • Feb 2010
    • 12943

    #2
    Re: Meteor strike - God sends message to Russia

    Brother Free Market--Great insite, God wants a tax break for the top 1%. There is no doubt you are correct.

    Russia taxes the rich, it gets hammered. If we keep on punishing the rich, we're going to get it too.
    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

    Comment

    • Mary Etheldreda
      Gushing for Jesus
       
      • Sep 2011
      • 23775

      #3
      Re: Meteor strike - God sends message to Russia

      I don't mean to disagree, because the LORD knows Free Market Fred walks hand in hand with the Holy Spirit (not in a gay way), but I wonder if anyone has heard more about the possibility that Obama was behind this. Could this be one of his fabrications to scare people into thinking Global Warming is real?


      Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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