Bridge collapse is Democrats fault

[Free Market Fred]

Hello fellow True Christians! I'm sure that you've all heard by now about the bridge over the Skagit River in Washington state that collapsed a few days ago.

I'd like to point out that this bridge was owned by Big Government (as opposed to being privatized). It was not a toll-bridge, so welfare cheats and bums could use it for free. Also note that this socialist bridge was built in 1955 when a Democrat was governor. Furthermore, the current governor is also a Democrat. This could be the worst scandal since Obama sicked the IRS on patriotic Tea Party members.


Big-Government bridge in socialist Washington state

You might have heard some rumors that the bridge was poorly maintained, and that many other bridges in the USA are in similarly bad shape. I feel a need to comment on that, since my company has had the exclusive no-bid contract to maintain this bridge for the past 12 years. We also had the contract to maintain the I-35W Mississippi River Bridge that collapsed in 2007. The big question in everybody's mind is: Is my company in any way at fault (and thus legally liable) for these disasters?

I've consulted with my "engineers" (which is what we call our lobbyists here at the office) and they've concluded that my company is blameless. Our legal team has been over the maintenance contracts with a fine-toothed comb. It does clearly state right there in black-and-white that my company must paint the bridges at least once every two years. And indeed we have - here is proof:


Skagit (hey, rhythms with "faggot") River Bridge

We have five more receipts for paintings of this bridge, which proves that without doubt we've been painting the bridge once every two years for the past 12. The other five were sold on e-Bay. The paintings, by the way, were done by Alfredo Gonzalez, an inmate serving a life-term for murder and drugs in one of my company's privatized prisons. A former beaner gang leader from Tijuana, he took up painting in prison as a hobby. In fact, even back in his youthful Tijuana days, he showed promise as an artist:


Beaner artwork in Tijuana

We didn't pay Alfredo for doing the bridge paintings, but he did get a second helping of mashed potatoes and extra time in the exercise yard as compensation. And he signed a document saying he was assigning copyright to the paintings to my company. Too bad he doesn't read English.

Anyway, the above bridge painting is for sale. Bidding starts at $10,000 - should be worth more to art collectors now that the bridge has collapsed.

Soooo...it's perfectly clear that my company has fulfilled its obligations in the maintenance contract.

Of course, none of this would have happened if the bridges had been privatized. Then we could have charged each driver a $10 toll, of which we would have been willing to share $0.05 with the state government. This would be a great bargain for taxpayers, as they would no longer have to pay us millions to maintain the socialist Big Government bridges. But with a Democrat governor in both Minnesota and Washington state (and a Communist Party member in the White House), this common sense public-private ownership approach to transportation is not going to happen.

That's Obama-style socialism for you. Disgusting.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Bridge collapse is Democrats fault

Thank you, Fred, for this information. It's almost like Democrats enjoy seeing bridges collapse because more taxes can collected to repair them.

If we want safe bridges, making the into private toll bridges is the only answer.

I hope one of your companies can help our country, Fred, by building many more private bridges and charging people for using them.

[Prayer Warrior]

Re: Bridge collapse is Democrats fault

It is a terrible cycle. Democrats create bridges, roads, and sidewalks using inferior government socialists, and then those bridges and roads inevitably break down. Democrats then use this an excuse so they can take more money to "fix" these bridges, but they only fix them using more government workers, so the bridges break down again. The ultimate goal is to destroy small business, our currency, and pretty much everything else America stands for.

Is it any wonder that under Obama, our National debt has skyrocketed to more than 16 billion dollars? Is it any wonder that an additional 15 million people have gone on food stamps since Obama was in office?

Either Obama and the Democrat government workers are completely incompetent, or they are intentionally ruining our country. They might be both, but they can't be neither.

[Paragon of virtue]

Re: Bridge collapse is Democrats fault

If Obama and his administration are only harming us unintentionally through their gross incompetence, then we should be on our knees thanking God even more than normal, because if Obama can run this country so far into the ground by accident, just imagine how much further along the path to destruction we would be if he started trying to destroy the country on purpose. Remember, every time they spend money on repairing one of these shoddy bridges it takes away funds that should be earmarked for building walls around our boarders!