Armed Agents Take Out Terrorist Deer

[Free Market Fred]

Greetings fellow True Christians! Not sure if any of you caught this little news item, but it's a gem:

Armed Wisconsin Agents Bust Into Animal Shelter To Kill Baby Deer


The face of terrorism in Wisconsin

The raid and subsequent liquidation of this obvious enemy combatant was proudly carried out by employees of my company, as we are in public-private partnership with the state of Wisconsin to provide security services (special thanks to their awesome Republican governor for that no-bid contract).

We had thought of renditioning that creature to Guantanamo, but couldn't find an orange jump suit to fit it. That's an issue we're now addressing for future operations.

That little deer might look innocent, but don't be fooled! Al Qaeda is known to be carrying out covert rabies biowarfare activities, recruiting dupes in the animal kingdom to operate terrorist cells in the American homeland! So-called "animal rights activists" are in fact Muslim homo-marriage enablers - don't be fooled! They are a threat to your family, and only by suspending the now-obsolete US Constitution can we keep you safe!

Remember, in The War on Terror™, you are either with us or against us. Fence-sitting just plays into the hands of America's enemies. And thanks to the NSA (another public-private partnership run by my company), we know who the enemy is!

[WilliamJenningsBryan]

Re: Armed Agents Take Out Terrorist Deer

Amen Brother Fred - this is a story that every red blooded law, order, and second amendment supporting Republican should feel warm about.

In Wisconsin all wild life is owned by the state and it is illegal for citizens to possess deer unless they are dead - and only after the carcass is properly registered with the authorities and confirmed to have been bagged with all the necessary licenses and permits. The only exemption is road kill - and then the owner of the vehicle that hit it gets first claims.

I surmise that it was originally enacted to prevent the savage terrorist injuns from firing their bows and arrows all over the place to avoid getting a proper job and buying their meat at the local grocery store.