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  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78555

    #1

    Legalize Dope; God Sends A Flood

    Praise His Holy name. God always keeps His promises. Let the nay-sayers and mockers say what they like, but God always wins.

    ‘Biblical’ Amounts Of Rainfall Slam Colorado, Causing Death, Destruction, And Massive Flooding

    Massive, historic, “biblical” rainfall cascaded through much of Colorado Thursday, leaving three people dead and one missing as of Thursday night as a result of the flooding.

    Up to 8 inches of rain fell across a hundred-mile expanse of Colorado’s Front Range, causing thousands to be evacuated as local streams turned into rampaging torrents. The heavy rains returned to the foothills region Thursday night, with more precipitation forecast for Friday.

    The National Weather Service issued constantly-updated versions of a local area forecast, and one at 9:41 a.m. MDT reported a dire warning:

    MAJOR FLOODING/FLASH FLOODING EVENT UNDERWAY AT THIS TIME WITH BIBLICAL RAINFALL AMOUNTS REPORTED IN MANY AREAS IN/NEAR THE FOOTHILLS

    There’s no scientific definition of “biblical” but the flooding has been unlike anything local residents have ever seen before.

    Boulder County Sheriff Joe Pelle, after facing 20-foot walls of water racing down canyons already stripped bare by wildfires and drought, said, “This is not an ordinary day. It is not an ordinary disaster.”

    A dozen dams overflowed and six actually blew out, while officials were keeping their eyes on several high-hazard dams whose failure would seriously endanger lives.

    This week started rainy for Boulder, which has seen 14 inches of rain fall since Monday. Boulder Creek’s flow rate usually measures at 100-300 cubic feet per second. On Thursday, it hit 4,500, more than double the previous record. NWS issued a flash flood warning “until further notice.”

    Boulder’s Office of Emergency Management evacuated the area around the creek, issuing a statement saying, “All residents are warned to go to higher ground immediately due to the potential for flash flooding along the creek.”

    Three towns, Lyons, Estes Park and Jamestown, were totally isolated by water and cascading rivers. Lyons lost power and Estes Park lost telephone lines and cell tower service. The only way residents could speak with the outside world was through ham radio.

    “There’s no way out of town. There’s no way into town. So, basically, now we’re just on an island,” Lyons resident Jason Stillman told the Weather Channel after he had to evacuate his home at 3 a.m. due to a river flooding into the street. On Thursday night, the National Guard began trucking people out of the trapped town.

    Eleven counties received flash flood warnings. Governor John Hickenlooper called on the National Guard and President Barack HUSSEIN Obama declared a state of emergency in Colorado.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!
  • Daisy Mae Johnson
    The Future Mrs. Ezekiel Flint
    Voted Best Pies in Freehold 10 Years Running
    aka the Biblethumpin Blonde
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 15708

    #2
    Re: Legalize Dope; God Sends A Flood

    I can just see GOD up in Heaven singing "I'm gunna wash those stoners right out of my hair" as HE sent the torrential flooding.
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    Comment

    • Alvin Moss
      Serving Jesus
      True Christian™
      • Aug 2013
      • 4468

      #3
      Re: Legalize Dope; God Sends A Flood

      In addition to distributing drugs to cloud the minds and ruin the morals of the youth, the heathen Democrats in Colorado have disarmed the population. Many Christians have up and left the state, fearing some God sent plague like the one that is taking place now.

      It is clear that the Lord intends to use an old favorite, the flood, to destroy those wretches, however, many others in this country fear the runoff.

      Colorado is very high, both in altitude and as a result of the rampant drug and alcohol use there. To many, who may possibly lack faith, the idea of a mile deep flood way up above them in the mountains brings fear. "What will happen when it comes here on the way to the sea?", they ask.

      To them I say:
      Fear not. The Lord is skilled in this kind of work and He can drown the devilish dope fiends of Colorado and never harm the drought you are experiencing now. That drought is also sent by God to punish you for your own grevious sins and the Lord can easily balance both plagues. At any given time, the Lord is laying waste many parts of the world with no difficulty in keeping track of who is being punished for what, where the righteous are and how to avoid collateral damage. Do not fear the wrath God has sent against your sinful neighbors, fear the wrath the Lord may send against you for your own infractions.

      God Bless!
      God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

      Comment

      • Free Market Fred
        The Prophet of Profit, Now Giving Financial Advice to Jesus in Heaven
        True Christian™
        • Dec 2009
        • 803

        #4
        Re: Legalize Dope; God Sends A Flood

        Pastor Zeke, you are SO correct in pointing out that all these so-called "natural disasters" are in fact The Lord's retribution against sinners. Floods, tornadoes, forest fires, etc, have absolutely nothing to do with the ridiculous global warming hoax that liberal Muslim-Atheists always cite.

        As if any further proof were needed of God's wrath, look at the recent Rim Fire in Yosemite National Park. The fire threatened the reservoirs that are the water supply for Gomorrah, also known as San Francisco. Even the liberal press had to admit that this was a Holy attack against homos, which is why they called it the Rim Fire. I won't go into the sordid details, but a rim job is an unspeakable homo act - of course, the queers are so proud of it that they perform this ritual in the street during those Gay Pride Festivals. Disgusting!

        Not only is The Lord expressing his displeasure with homos and rim jobs by sending Hellfire and brimstone to the national parks and forests, but He is also obviously intent on destroying all socialist national lands. There is no doubt that The Lord despises public land, and wants these valuable areas to be privatized. That is why He put oil, natural gas and coal under them, so that we Christians would go out and frack, drill and mine. Of course, the liberal leftist environwackos want to "protect" public land, and hold all kinds of Satanic protests to prevent Godly companies like mine from doing The Lord's work. Fortunately, The Lord is all his wisdom has given us SWAT teams and privatized prisons - this is a battle that Satan is NOT going to win.


        My company doing The Lord's work in a "national" forest
        Praise Jesus!
        Brother Fred
        CEO, The Uranus Corporation
        Put your faith in Uranus!

        sigpic

        Comment

        • WilliamJenningsBryan
          True Christian™
           
          • Jan 2007
          • 9384

          #5
          Re: Legalize Dope; God Sends A Flood

          When Jesus has decided He's finally had enough of these homers He will do something about it, and it will be Yellowstone. When it happens it will make Sodom and Gomorrah look like a weenie roast.

          Supervolcano - The Truth About Yellowstone

          Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
          brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
          ...and get off my lawn
          sigpic

          Comment

          • Pastor Ed Lowman
            Southern Hospitality Exemplified
            Always kind and loving
            True Christian™
            • Sep 2011
            • 1838

            #6
            Re: Legalize Dope; God Sends A Flood

            Colorado isn't the only place. Slimy, filthy, injun-infested New Mexico has already seen one death on account of the same vengeance.

            Comment

            • Alan Roberts Jr.
              Confirmed Enemy of God
              BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
              • Aug 2013
              • 24

              #7
              Re: Legalize Dope; God Sends A Flood

              I'll light a joint to that!

              Comment

              • Alvin Moss
                Serving Jesus
                True Christian™
                • Aug 2013
                • 4468

                #8
                Re: Legalize Dope; God Sends A Flood

                Well, there's plenty of that "Pot" stuff in Hell and there is no trouble getting a light.

                The joke is that cigarette papers, while freely available, burn up as soon as you take them from the package.

                We will be watching your feeble attempts from Heaven and having a nice picnic lunch while we watch the floor show. Many unsaved wretches believe Christians and our spiritual home, Heaven, are boring, but we like to have a good time, just like everyone else.

                Look, listen and learn, unsaved wretch- all of Hell's a stage and all the damned are dancing for our entertainment.
                God judgeth the righteous, And God is angry with the wicked every day- Psalm 7:11

                Comment

                • bryce carmony
                  Unsaved trash
                  • Sep 2013
                  • 52

                  #9
                  Re: Legalize Dope; God Sends A Flood

                  God must be arbitrary in the pot legal = smiting policy. Netherlands has legalized the drug for a long time and they aren't being hit by floods. they even have a longer life expectancy than the states.

                  making pot illegal is economically disadvantageous, I tried the stuff , wasn't really into it so I personally don't gain from legalization but all men are free to do as they will.
                  Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

                  Comment

                  • Joshua The Repentant
                    Unsaved trash, repenting kike
                    Forum Member
                    • Sep 2013
                    • 30

                    #10
                    Re: Legalize Dope; God Sends A Flood

                    The stoners probably didn't even realize what was happening they were so high on Satan's leaf.

                    Originally posted by Sir Lucid View Post
                    God must be arbitrary in the pot legal = smiting policy. Netherlands has legalized the drug for a long time and they aren't being hit by floods. they even have a longer life expectancy than the states.

                    making pot illegal is economically disadvantageous, I tried the stuff , wasn't really into it so I personally don't gain from legalization but all men are free to do as they will.
                    The Netherlands doesn't need to be hit by a flood, being the Netherlands is a punishment in-in itself. That entire country is a godless place, and Jesus hates every person there. He has already punished them enough by making them who they are.
                    John 16:33


                    "These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world."

                    Comment

                    • bryce carmony
                      Unsaved trash
                      • Sep 2013
                      • 52

                      #11
                      Re: Legalize Dope; God Sends A Flood

                      Originally posted by Joshua The Repentant View Post
                      The stoners probably didn't even realize what was happening they were so high on Satan's leaf.



                      The Netherlands doesn't need to be hit by a flood, being the Netherlands is a punishment in-in itself. That entire country is a godless place, and Jesus hates every person there. He has already punished them enough by making them who they are.
                      Says the Xenophobe. where in the bible does it say god hates every person there? oh it doesn't? what a shock
                      Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

                      Comment

                      • Zechariah Smyth
                        Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
                        True Christian™
                        • Feb 2011
                        • 15251

                        #12
                        Re: Legalize Dope; God Sends A Flood

                        Originally posted by Sir Lucid View Post
                        Says the Xenophobe. where in the bible does it say god hates every person there? oh it doesn't? what a shock
                        Name-calling and rudeness are not tolerated at Landover, even when directed at other Unsaved Trash. Please try to keep your emotions in check.

                        YiC,

                        Zech

                        P.S. Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor.
                        sigpic

                        Comment

                        • bryce carmony
                          Unsaved trash
                          • Sep 2013
                          • 52

                          #13
                          Re: Legalize Dope; God Sends A Flood

                          Originally posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
                          Name-calling and rudeness are not tolerated at Landover, even when directed at other Unsaved Trash. Please try to keep your emotions in check.

                          YiC,

                          Zech

                          P.S. Sarcasm is the lowest form of humor.
                          Xenophobe isn't "name calling"

                          and Puns are the lowest form of humor.

                          if you say " I hate black people because they are black " and I say " you are Racist" that isn't name calling that's just stating a fact

                          if you say " the Netherlands suck being there is terrible and god hates all of them " and I say " you are a Xenophobe" that's not name calling that is just stating a fact.
                          Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

                          Comment

                          • Zechariah Smyth
                            Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
                            True Christian™
                            • Feb 2011
                            • 15251

                            #14
                            Re: Legalize Dope; God Sends A Flood

                            Originally posted by Sir Lucid View Post
                            Xenophobe isn't "name calling"

                            and Puns are the lowest form of humor.

                            if you say " I hate black people because they are black " and I say " you are Racist" that isn't name calling that's just stating a fact

                            if you say " the Netherlands suck being there is terrible and god hates all of them " and I say " you are a Xenophobe" that's not name calling that is just stating a fact.
                            Where did I say I hate negroes? Your wild accusations are not welcome here.



                            YiC,

                            Zech

                            P.S. Puns aren't funny, so are not considered a subset of humor.
                            sigpic

                            Comment

                            • bryce carmony
                              Unsaved trash
                              • Sep 2013
                              • 52

                              #15
                              Re: Legalize Dope; God Sends A Flood

                              Originally posted by Zechariah Smyth View Post
                              Where did I say I hate negroes? Your wild accusations are not welcome here.



                              YiC,

                              Zech

                              P.S. Puns aren't funny, so are not considered a subset of humor.
                              I used the word " if " as in hypothetical, I was making an example of how calling a racist a racist and calling a xenophobe a xenophobe isn't name calling its just using accurate adjectives.

                              I didn't say you hated black people, however, you have accused me of making an accusation , renounce it now you hypocrite.
                              Ecclesiastes 4:5 The fool foldeth his hands together, and eateth his own flesh.

                              Comment

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