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  • BrotherLarry
    Revelationary Equine Gnathologist for Christ
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2014
    • 2266

    #1

    Devil Worshippers to Distribute Their Junk

    The Freedom from Religion Foundation, an ungodly organization seeking to destroy America's Christian history, announced that satanists will be permitted to distribute literature in schools. The devil won't stop trying to win our youth.

    At least the FFRF is saying they do not support this, but the organization nevertheless believes in a world free of Christian influences on government, education, and the arts. Can you imagine such a world? I think back to Godly Ronald Reagan, Godly George Bush 41, and I weep to think of our White House turned into Hell House (the way it is now).

    Men of America, we need to inform the powers that be we insist on JESUS having a place in Congress (and I don't mean some wetback from Tijuana). Our country's principles are based on the fact that Jesus died for our sins and that heaven and hell are real, with angels singing in heaven and fires burning in hell as I write this. Why do they think volcanoes erupt? That's just hell's valve letting out the excess from time to time! If the devil worshippers can put tracts in schools let's be sure there are some Chick tracts in overwhelming numbers right beside them. May God bless our land, despite our evil ways. Lord Jesus forgive us all.

    Come, Lord Jesus,
    BrotherLarry
    Proverbs 21:31 KJV 1611:
    “The horse is prepared against the day of battell: but safetie is of the Lord.”

    Lord, may I serve my equine brothers and sisters just as I do my fellow man.
    Amen and Amen
  • Free Market Fred
    The Prophet of Profit, Now Giving Financial Advice to Jesus in Heaven
    True Christian™
    • Dec 2009
    • 803

    #2
    Re: Devil Worshippers to Distribute Their Junk

    Thank you alert Brother Larry for spotting this nefarious plot by devil-worshiping liberals!

    This just goes to show why it's dangerous to send your children to public school - their union-thug teachers will try to indoctrinate them into the evil Cult of Satan. We've known for centuries that teachers - working in cahoots with so-called "scientists" - have challenged Biblical wisdom. We had "scholars" like Galileo who invented the hoax that the Earth revolves around the Sun! And there was Newton with his gravity hoax. As all True Christians know, Satanism was founded by Charles Darwin, another pseudo-scientist and Satanist who started the evolution hoax as a way to make sure your kids don't get into Heaven.

    Fortunately, my company helping out. We've created a chain of fun-filled museums across the country, to get the truth out to impressionable young children, before it's too late.





    Needless to say, the evolution hoax is only one of many. At public schools, your kids will be indoctrinated into the greatest hoax of all time.



    They'll even be forced into do so-called "scientific experiments" which are rigged to give results that fly in the face of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.



    And if the liberals can't convince your kids to believe in their Devil worship, they will literally try to kill them by exposing them to the lower races under the socialist mantra of "diversity."


    White children being exposed to AIDS in sex education class

    The solution, of course, is home schooling. I am proud to announce that ever since my company took over the US Department of Education last year in a privatization move, we can now offer better-than-ever home schooling via the Internet. Your kids will never have to leave the basement or closet where you keep them locked up! Tuition begins at a mere $6000 per year, and for parents who don't have the cash on hand, we offer instant payday loans carrying a reasonable 400% annual interest charge - your child can serve as collateral!

    I do want to let everyone know that we DO have several online sex education classes. But don't panic, it is Christian sex education - your children will learn the truth about sex, like how masturbation can cause their tongue and eyes to fall out. They will also learn how condoms can cause suffocation.


    Condoms are dangerous!

    And of course, we make sure that your kids are educated about the hazards of homoism.



    Special note to advertisers: teenagers are a great potential market for your future sales. Our online educational website is a great place to buy ads, at reasonable rates. You can't afford not to take advantage of this fantastic opportunity!

    Please note that we only accept advertisements that stay within the norms of good taste and good Christian values, examples of which you can see below:


    Toys for Tots

    Praise Jesus!
    Brother Fred
    CEO, The Uranus Corporation
    Put your faith in Uranus!

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    Comment

    • WWJDnow
      True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Aug 2009
      • 6314

      #3
      Re: Devil Worshippers to Distribute Their Junk

      Uh, Brother Fred, when you click on the ad, nothing happens.
      The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

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