October is BIBLE BASHING MONTH!!!!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Brothers and Sisters,

For the entire month of October I'd like us to gather around the mall and the Walmart and violently throw our over-sized KJV1611 Bibles at anyone (including children) who are attempting to buy Helloween costumes or candy. If the kid starts crying that just means there is a demon in him and we probably knocked it out of him!!!!!!! PRAISE!

Who is with me!

GET ON FIRE FOR THE LORD WITH ME!

GLORY!

If you have any further suggestions please post them here.

[Bob4God]

Re: October is BIBLE BASHING MONTH!!!!

My plans for this coming birthday of the devil involve sitting on my roof with binoculars, a KJV1611, a megaphone and a box of Chick Tracts.

Whenever a sticky-fingered little heathen comes wandering up the sidewalk I will start hurling Chick tracts at him while screaming Bible verses to him through the megaphone. I do NOT want any of their demons actually getting near my house, so I will be rigging up a water cannon to a fire hydrant to give the little brats a blast of water should they get too close. Praise!

[Jean Poole]

Re: October is BIBLE BASHING MONTH!!!!

In our family, we have a tradition of throwing our family Bible off tall buildings on to unsuspecting passing Goths. Naturally, since the family is quite large, this has resulted in some relatively serious injuries. But PRAISE THE LORD, because those unsaved heathens never came near our Church again.

[SayvedByTheLord]

Re: October is BIBLE BASHING MONTH!!!!

Sister T. I would get on fire for anything with you!

I will plant Claymore mines at the entrance to my estate in preparation for the little demons.

YIC

[Capt. Aaron Portway]

Re: October is BIBLE BASHING MONTH!!!!

My plans for this coming birthday of the devil involve sitting on my roof with binoculars, a KJV1611, a megaphone and a box of Chick Tracts.

Whenever a sticky-fingered little heathen comes wandering up the sidewalk I will start hurling Chick tracts at him while screaming Bible verses to him through the megaphone. I do NOT want any of their demons actually getting near my house, so I will be rigging up a water cannon to a fire hydrant to give the little brats a blast of water should they get too close. Praise!

I got my car out of the shop after my church search incident, and I still have my megaphone, so my plan was to drive around Frenso proper, looking for groups of kids in costume with their parents.

When I find a good group, I'll pull over and rebuke them with my megaphone, yelling at them about out how they are going to Hell, how much God hates them, how if the really want to celebrate a pagan holiday, they might want to consider slitting their children's throats on altars or burning them in wicker cages.

I was also thinking about some booby-trapped candy. You know, put some needles or broken glass inside Snickers bars or something? That'll teach the little heathen bastards a thing or two about mocking God!

[satan's leper]

Re: October is BIBLE BASHING MONTH!!!!

Stop and think that maybe it is just kids games? The entire trick-or treat thing is just a nice day for children to play and pretend, and receive candy for it.
And if you violently throw bibles at children, several things can happen.
1. You will be arrested.
2. You will get your brains (should they be found) beaten by the children's parents.
3. You will forever be labeled a idiot.
4. You will be banned from wallmart.
5. You homes will be egged.
6. You may be arrested for child abuse.

And also, the kids will not be crying because a demon just left them. I'm no doctor, but I would attribute the child's crying to a huge heavy book, spiked at his/her head (possibly giving them slightly less brain damage then picking up the book and reading it would).

[Ebenezer Wright]

Re: October is BIBLE BASHING MONTH!!!!

1. You will be arrested.
2. You will get your brains (should they be found) beaten by the children's parents.
3. You will forever be labeled a idiot.
4. You will be banned from wallmart.
5. You homes will be egged.
6. You may be arrested for child abuse.

Matthew 5:10
Blessed are they which are persecuted for righteousness' sake: for theirs is the kingdom of heaven.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: October is BIBLE BASHING MONTH!!!!

Stop and think that maybe it is just kids games? The entire trick-or treat thing is just a nice day for children to play and pretend, and receive candy for it.
And if you violently throw bibles at children, several things can happen.
1. You will be arrested.
2. You will get your brains (should they be found) beaten by the children's parents.
3. You will forever be labeled a idiot.
4. You will be banned from wallmart.
5. You homes will be egged.
6. You may be arrested for child abuse.

And also, the kids will not be crying because a demon just left them. I'm no doctor, but I would attribute the child's crying to a huge heavy book, spiked at his/her head (possibly giving them slightly less brain damage then picking up the book and reading it would).

I do it all the time and I have never been arrested.

http://landoverbaptist.net/showthread.php?p=242827#post242827

Life must be different here in Freehold. People clap and shout GLORY when I beat strange kids with my Bible.

You must be so infested with demons you are delusional.

[satan's leper]

Re: October is BIBLE BASHING MONTH!!!!

I would not say "delusional" because i not believe in the bible, thus making me sane.

But seriously, that is considered assault, so if I were you I would reconsider. Besides, you can permanently damage them, that is unforgivable.

[Mr. Seth Cochran]

Re: October is BIBLE BASHING MONTH!!!!

My plan for October, especially toward the end, involves a Holy Bible, 20 feet of rope, several roles of duct tape, and a loaded shotgun. I hope to bring in quite a harvest this year, if you know what I mean.