[Nobar King]

Re: Lewd Gourds

Even that should qualify you for knowing the difference between a fruit and a vegetable.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Lewd Gourds

I had only finished reading that uppity tart's vegetable reference when I posted the proper definition of this disgusting fruit.

My quote comes from the very first post in this thread. If you had "only finished reading that uppity tart's vegetable reference," you should have already read my "autumn fruit" statement and therefore used it as your citation.

Just curious, if the shape of gourds are so evil and satanic, why did God make them that way?

God doesn't make them that way. God makes them into wholesome shapes, and the Devil stretches and contorts them into obscene shapes to corrupt children, entice women, and assault the delicate senses of decent Christian menfolk.

I mentioned this in the first post of the thread. Did anybody bother reading it? I am utterly fascinating, people. You should be hanging on every word I write.

Here are some arboreal examples of Satan's hand in God's work:

[Talitha]

Re: Lewd Gourds

It gets much worse Brother Hatchet.

The French, who are well known for mass fornication and Sodomy have invented something to make even innocent Good Christian Vegetables into Satanic and pornographic shapes.

Something called Crudités apparently.
Jesus weeps.

[Off Base]

Re: Lewd Gourds

My quote comes from the very first post in this thread. If you had "only finished reading that uppity tart's vegetable reference," you should have already read my "autumn fruit" statement and therefore used it as your citation.



God doesn't make them that way. God makes them into wholesome shapes, and the Devil stretches and contorts them into obscene shapes to corrupt children, entice women, and assault the delicate senses of decent Christian menfolk.

Seems to me God gives quite a bit of power to Satan. Were Satan determined to send everyone straight to hell and I were a loving God, I would have him locked up with the key thrown away and give him absolutly no power.

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Lewd Gourds

Thank you for this very informative thread Brother Hatchet. Upon further research I've found that most root vegetables are very offensive and are the handiwork of Satan!

I will no longer make my famous carrot raisin salad.

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Lewd Gourds

[SUV]

Re: Lewd Gourds



It looks like some Righteous White Christian finally got real good and tired of that Obama

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Lewd Gourds

I urge all responsible, Christ-loving parents to abolish vegetables from their children's diets and compensate for the nutritive loss with processed, high-calorie, snack food.

That kind of diet leads to obesity and Type 2 diabetes. Do you really want fat kids on dialysis?

[Old Man Hatchet]

Re: Lewd Gourds

That kind of diet leads to obesity and Type 2 diabetes. Do you really want fat kids on dialysis?

I think that's a small price to pay if we want our children's rectums free of vegetable shlongs.

[Nobar King]

Re: Lewd Gourds

The so-called gooseneck squash are popular this year.

Don't even try do visualize what the homers are doing with them, but I'll tell you that they are not being grown for eating!

[Jared H. Price]

Re: Lewd Gourds

We also have to make sure we don't allow children to watch the Charlie Brown halloween special where they advocate worshipping a Satanic gourd demon called the Great Pumpkin.

[Oakland "Reb" Griner]

Re: Lewd Gourds

Further vile villainous vegetables !!!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Lewd Gourds



Disgusting. Satan himself must have created gourds and other squash.

[Sister Sally Bate]

Re: Lewd Gourds




oh sweet Jesus!!

I rebuke you Satan!! In the name of decency!

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: Lewd Gourds

oh sweet Jesus!!

I rebuke you Satan!! In the name of decency!

Absolutely DISGUSTING Sister. I'm sure Satan and his demons had a good laugh when they dangled their naughty bits from this tree in hopes of causing temptation.

There are plenty of dangling barbed tallywhacker for this woman to choose from where she is going. I hope she enjoys !