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  • #1

    SECURING YOUR PROPERTY FROM TRICK OR TREATERS !

    Friends,

    Halloween is a time when you get all sorts of Heathen trash at your doorstep - Now is the time to begin securing your property from these freaks and weirdos!

    So with that thought in mind, I decided to start this thread on Home Protection - you can never be too safe!

    I usually start a few weeks before Halloween, by laying razor-wire across my front lawn, and placing sufficient mantraps along my front path.



    You can never have enough of these little suckers!

    So let's talk strategy.... Has anyone else tried putting an electical current through their door-knocker? I'm trying to wire something up, but having no luck. Any tips on how to do this, and what voltage I should be going for would be great!
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: SECURING YOUR PROPERTY FROM TRICK OR TREATERS !

    Don't let them get that close to your door, brother Percy. I'd just put a bowl with a copper lid out front with a sign: "Free Candy", but there's no candy inside, just a strong jolt of electricity from the handle.

    You have to be careful with your car so that it doesn't get creamed or egged. A good cover is a nice start, but I like to sit outside with a bright light and a guard dog to scare them away.

    You can also take advantage of fall growth by cutting twigs, sharpening them, and having them stick up from the lawn. You might not even want to take them out after Halloween, because they discourage dog visitors.
    May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: SECURING YOUR PROPERTY FROM TRICK OR TREATERS !

      Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
      You have to be careful with your car so that it doesn't get creamed or egged.
      I'd like to see those little rascals try it! Just got myself a new electric cattle prod... Whoever comes even near my car will get the full force of THIS little baby! Praise!

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: SECURING YOUR PROPERTY FROM TRICK OR TREATERS !

        Trick or treaters are welcome at my house - I've decorated my house, stocked up on candy and can't wait to see all their cute little costumes!
        Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: SECURING YOUR PROPERTY FROM TRICK OR TREATERS !

          Originally posted by Old Iron Crotch View Post
          Trick or treaters are welcome at my house - I've decorated my house, stocked up on candy and can't wait to see all their cute little costumes!
          Witch, the thought of you answering your door in your skyclad noodiness to little children is beyond repulsive!

          Still, I imagine Halloween's like having your own home-delivered banquet to a Wiccer like you! How many children you eat last year???

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: SECURING YOUR PROPERTY FROM TRICK OR TREATERS !

            Originally posted by Brother_Percy View Post
            Witch, the thought of you answering your door in your skyclad noodiness to little children is beyond repulsive!


            I don't answer the door sky-clad for trick-or-treaters, only for door-to-door evangelists. In fact, I dress in costume during trick-or-treat time, hand out candy, then do my holy ritual later in the evening after all the little ones are safely home enjoying their sugar highs.

            Still, I imagine Halloween's like having your own home-delivered banquet to a Wiccer like you! How many children you eat last year???
            I don't eat people.
            Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: SECURING YOUR PROPERTY FROM TRICK OR TREATERS !

              By 'holy ritual' I assume you go out to riot in the streets with the homers and the emos in your stupid costumes?
              May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: SECURING YOUR PROPERTY FROM TRICK OR TREATERS !

                Originally posted by Nobar King View Post
                By 'holy ritual' I assume you go out to riot in the streets with the homers and the emos in your stupid costumes?

                No, I mean honoring my loved ones who have passed through the veil. This involves, among other things, preparing a meal and inviting them to come and sup with us. While they are not able to physically eat the food, they are able to partake of its spiritual essence.
                Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

                Comment

                • #9
                  Re: SECURING YOUR PROPERTY FROM TRICK OR TREATERS !

                  Originally posted by Old Iron Crotch View Post
                  No, I mean honoring my loved ones who have passed through the veil. This involves, among other things, preparing a meal and inviting them to come and sup with us. While they are not able to physically eat the food, they are able to partake of its spiritual essence.
                  Yeah, sure they are. Spare us your cutesy-wootsy New-Age mythology about all of the completely unverifiable things that you imagine happen to people once they've "passed through the veil." We True Christians™ have no need for such nonsense.
                  This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                  Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

                  sigpic

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: SECURING YOUR PROPERTY FROM TRICK OR TREATERS !

                    Originally posted by Old Iron Crotch View Post
                    No, I mean honoring my loved ones who have passed through the veil. This involves, among other things, preparing a meal and inviting them to come and sup with us. While they are not able to physically eat the food, they are able to partake of its spiritual essence.
                    What is the "spiritual essence" of macaroni and cheese?

                    You crazy new agers just crack me up. I'll be laughing along with Jesus while we watch you having your skin peeled off one inch at a time by shrieking demons down in everlasting hellfire. I can't wait.
                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: SECURING YOUR PROPERTY FROM TRICK OR TREATERS !

                      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                      What is the "spiritual essence" of macaroni and cheese?

                      You crazy new agers just crack me up. I'll be laughing along with Jesus while we watch you having your skin peeled off one inch at a time by shrieking demons down in everlasting hellfire. I can't wait.

                      Mac and cheese? I think not.

                      Roast chicken, quinoa topped with sauteed onions and mushrooms, yellow squash baked with onions, garlic, tomatoes, and herbs, steamed broccoli topped with melted extra sharp cheddar, and chilled mugs of Guinness.
                      Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: SECURING YOUR PROPERTY FROM TRICK OR TREATERS !

                        (Pssssst! Harlot, passing gas isn't "spiritual essence"!)
                        Posted via Prayer

                        1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
                        Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

                        Blogging for CHRIST!
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                        My Ladies of Landover profile!

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                        • #13
                          Re: SECURING YOUR PROPERTY FROM TRICK OR TREATERS !

                          Originally posted by Sister Mary Maria View Post
                          (Pssssst! Harlot, passing gas isn't "spiritual essence"!)

                          I don't recall claiming that it was - perhaps you should tell that to Captain Asshat of the Jacuzzi Baptismal.
                          Now that Obama has won the election there will be big black cock for every white woman!!!

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: SECURING YOUR PROPERTY FROM TRICK OR TREATERS !

                            This is a thread about how to secure your property, right? What does zucchini have to do with that?
                            May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: SECURING YOUR PROPERTY FROM TRICK OR TREATERS !

                              Originally posted by Old Iron Crotch View Post
                              Trick or treaters are welcome at my house - I've decorated my house, stocked up on candy and can't wait to see all their cute little costumes!
                              I've seen your posts in other threads. Like this one:
                              BRADGELINA TAKE 'ROMANTIC BATHS' WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S KIDS??? - The Landover Baptist Church Forum
                              http://www.landoverbaptist.net/showpost.php?p=246456&postcount=16
                              Keep up to date with an ever-changing world from an even more Godlier perspective than FOX News.


                              I fear for the children you are attracting to your home with candy and pretty decorations. The scary part doesn't start until you open the door...
                              "Come Unto Me. Put forth thine hand now, and touch all that he hath." (Matthew 19:14, Job 1:11).

                              Comment

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