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Is there anything other than the KJB and some garlic cloves I should bring with me into my helloween/nuclear fallout shelter. I will emerge 11-01-08, and God willing, the world will still be here. Pray for my safety please, as I will for you.
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Re: I'm heading to the shelter
How can you witness to the Unsaved if you're in a fallout shelter? (Oh, wait, you ARE the Unsaved.)Originally posted by Brother Terrence View Post
What's the garlic for? Making pizza?
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Re: I'm heading to the shelter
Oooooooh the garlic must be to chase away the vampires! We have some of those in our neighborhood. My son-in-law says they come from the basement of the cathedral up the hill. He says vampires are the work of the devil. He says they shrivel and dry up to a husk easily enough when you hold a garlic clove under their noses.Originally posted by Brother Terrence View Post
Well I didn't have any garlic in my handbag, so I slapped one of em upside the head with my King James Bible on the corner of Taylor Street at sundown on Friday. It ran away, screeching. I must remember the garlic next week when I go streetcorner preaching (Jesus have patience with noddy)1st Timothy 2: 9 In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;
1st Timothy 2: 10 But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works ...
1 Timothy 5: 16 If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed ...
Proverbs 31: 26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness ...
Proverbs 31: 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness ...Comment
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Re: I'm heading to the shelter
I also recommend taking a large bottle of wine and a True Christian TM woman. If mankind is erased after the apocalyptic day you're discussing, it will be you who will have to re-populate the world.Revelations 6:16
"And said to the mountains and rocks,
Fall on us, and hide us from the face
of him that sitteth on the throne,
and from the wrath of the Lamb"Comment
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Re: I'm heading to the shelter
It's always about sex with you, isn't it?Originally posted by PrayerIsFun View Post
Did the thought ever cross your brain that if he emerges from his shelter to find everybody gone, that JESUS has simply returned and taken us away to our Heavenly home and fabulous mansions?sigpic
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Re: I'm heading to the shelter
This isn't the Price is Right. If he emerges and Freehold's wiped off the face of the Planet it will be because God sent a tornado down to finish off your pathetic town. I've seen your buildings, it won't take much to tear down those shacks. But chances are few of you will be killed. The majority of you will be turned into handicapped wussies and will have to start sewing rainbow flags to pay the bills.Originally posted by Bob4God View PostRevelations 6:16
"And said to the mountains and rocks,
Fall on us, and hide us from the face
of him that sitteth on the throne,
and from the wrath of the Lamb"Comment
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Re: I'm heading to the shelter
PIF, I believe you went to Freeman, Iowa.Originally posted by PrayerIsFun View Post
I drove through it en route to Freehold for the Witch Hunt, when I made a wrong turn.
Freeman was founded in 1872, a town originally populated entirely by freed Negroes. (By 1972, Freeman's centennial, it had become the White Trash Capital of Iowa.)
Just like Liberia, it was wracked with internal strife from day one.
Unlike Freehold, with its broad boulevards and cozy alleyways, Freeman has dirt tracks with open sewers alongside.
Freehold has steel-framed skyscrapers. Freeman has tin-sided shacks.
I could go on, but you get the idea.
When you get to Freehold, you'll know.
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