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  • What should I do to sinners at my door for Halloween?

    How do I punish them?

  • #2
    Re: What should I do to sinners at my door for Halloween?

    Originally posted by AntonLavey View Post
    How do I punish them?
    Rebuke them in a loud and Righteous voice.

    I see your grammatical skills are improving, that is why Jesus brought you here.


    Leviticus 26:27-29

    27 And if ye will not for all this hearken unto me, but walk contrary unto me;
    28 Then I will walk contrary unto you also in fury; and I, even I, will chastise you seven times for your sins.
    29 And ye shall eat the flesh of your sons, and the flesh of your daughters shall ye eat.

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    • #3
      Re: What should I do to sinners at my door for Halloween?

      I usually set the Dogs on 'em

      Sister Talitha

      Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


      HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
      being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41



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      • #4
        Re: What should I do to sinners at my door for Halloween?

        Originally posted by AntonLavey View Post
        How do I punish them?
        Instead of punishing, perhaps you may want to read selected verses from the KJV 1611 to them?

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        • #5
          Re: What should I do to sinners at my door for Halloween?

          Hand out Chick tracts instead of candy.
          Drama queen

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          • #6
            Re: What should I do to sinners at my door for Halloween?

            The best way to punish them would be to... give them TWICE as much candy as usual! Muahahahahahaaaa! You know, so they get fat and stuff. THEN they'll be sorry!

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            • #7
              Re: What should I do to sinners at my door for Halloween?

              Spray them in the face with MACE and then yell the appropriate Scriptures at them.

              You could also call the police on them for soliciting if you have a "DO NOT SOLICIT" plaque on your front door.

              Or just go to Church and spend the evening praying for the Rapture.
              sigpic

              Tweet me Here
              My GODLY Bio Here

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              • #8
                Re: What should I do to sinners at my door for Halloween?

                Originally posted by AntonLavey View Post
                How do I punish them?
                Why would you punish them? It's an opportunity to share the Word of God with them.

                God will punish those who refuse, by casting them into eternal torture in His Lake of Fire.

                Why would you name yourself after Antoinette LaVatory, the cross-dressing freak who wrote The Santa-ic Bible and later died a penniless loser?
                Bible boring? Nonsense!
                Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

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                • #9
                  Re: What should I do to sinners at my door for Halloween?

                  Take the kids to the catholic church

                  That shall teach them devil's sons!
                  GOD IS MY REAOSON

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                  • #10
                    Re: What should I do to sinners at my door for Halloween?

                    Originally posted by ChristiansUberAlles View Post
                    Take the kids to the catholic church

                    That shall teach them devil's sons!
                    Teach them what? How to sexually service men in dresses?
                    Bible boring? Nonsense!
                    Try Bible in a Year with Brother V, or join Shirlee and the kids as they discuss Real Bible Stories!
                    You can't be a Christian if you don't know God's Word!

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      Re: What should I do to sinners at my door for Halloween?

                      Originally posted by AntonLavey View Post
                      How do I punish them?
                      Put chastity belts on them so that they aren't anally raped by their liberal, Halloween celebrating parents.
                      The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

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                      • #12
                        Re: What should I do to sinners at my door for Halloween?

                        Originally posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post
                        Spray them in the face with MACE and then yell the appropriate Scriptures at them.

                        You could also call the police on them for soliciting if you have a "DO NOT SOLICIT" plaque on your front door.

                        Or just go to Church and spend the evening praying for the Rapture.
                        Ive been stocking up on mace Daisy, Cant wait To punish them!

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                        • #13
                          Re: What should I do to sinners at my door for Halloween?

                          Shoot them, which is perfectly legal according to secular American laws as such behaviour is considered as illegal trespassing.

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                          • #14
                            Re: What should I do to sinners at my door for Halloween?

                            I order several dozen Chick Tracts and hand them out to the kids. I figure this is an ideal opportunity to turn a HEATHEN event into a HEAVEN event!

                            The kids are usually so filled with the Holy Spirit after reading them that they spontaneously tear them into confetti and decorate my yard with it: it's wondrous to see!



                            YiC,

                            Zech
                            Posted via Mobile Device
                            sigpic

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                            • #15
                              Re: What should I do to sinners at my door for Halloween?

                              Originally posted by Daisy Mae Johnson View Post
                              Spray them in the face with MACE and then yell the appropriate Scriptures at them.

                              You could also call the police on them for soliciting if you have a "DO NOT SOLICIT" plaque on your front door.

                              Or just go to Church and spend the evening praying for the Rapture.
                              Some great ideas, sister! Well, I rather stay at home and defend it, not to become the victim of egging or toilet papering. I crafted an elaborate defense system against those heathens! Few tips:
                              • turn off your porch, garage, and sidewalk lights;
                              • tape down your knocker, disable your doorbell and seal up the letter box;
                              • keep your curtains drawn so heathens can't see you inside;
                              • pee in the bowl of candy you left on the doorstep;
                              • I wouldn’t advise you the “electroshock therapy” I once tried; ‘twas fun but I’ve had some predicaments afterwards;
                              Ask not what your Lord can do for you. Ask what you can do for your Lord.


                              ... your choice entirely (Matthew 12:30)

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