A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

[BlessedB]

Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

That's "Pastor Manning" to you, papist, and stop recruiting for the death-cookie cult on God's favorite discussion board.

If you knew all the bennees we papists get, especially in the land of many cheeses, you'd be rushing to convert.
Easter Sunday and Monday, Pentecost, Ascension, Assomption, tomorrow's ALL SAINTS' and of course Christmas are ALL legal holidays.
Plus in eastern France you get off Good Friday because apparently something happened then.

[Felicity]

Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

@Annie1 That cake is cute!

[Annie1]

Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

That is such a cute pumpkin! How devoted you are Pastor Manning to be so dedicated to witnessing to children. I hope you get a lot of conversions tonight!
Matthew 19:14 - But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

I want a pumpkin like that! I suggest all people make pediabear pumpkin carvings! I don't have a True Christian wife to order to do it though. Would they mess up yet another simple task like that? Maybe they should carve it in a freshly baked pie instead.

I don't think Pediabear would be that hard to decorate a pie with, maybe some sort of raised crust decal? Here's the pediabear cake I made for my little cousin's 9th birthday



She loooved it!

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

Is it not a case of using the appropriate equipment for the job in had, after all you would not use this for a Turkey shoot would you?
Not if the aim of the exercise was to bag a bird for the table.

I thought pirates used pig-stickers.


In any event, you will kindly stop derailing our threads or you will be thrown out on your scabby bottom.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

Of course not. That is not a real gun, a real gun would blast that pumpkin into little pieces in one shot.

Is it not a case of using the appropriate equipment for the job in had, after all you would not use this for a Turkey shoot would you?

Not if the aim of the exercise was to bag a bird for the table.

[Pastor Isaac Peters]

Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

Mr. Manning, your zeal to bring the children to Christ impresses me. Have you ever thought of converting to God's genuinely favorite church, the Catholic Church?

That's "Pastor Manning" to you, papist, and stop recruiting for the death-cookie cult on God's favorite discussion board.

[Rebuko the Clown]

Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

I never had the oppertunity to trick kids in coming to my door since i never lived in a house. But a couple years back i was living in a luxury mobile home community on the outskirts of town and there were kids coming to all the trailers asking for candy. well one year i constructed a maze out of plywood since i was working in constructiun at the time so i had axxess to a bunch of wood anyways what i did was make a maze which was a long tunnel that turned a couple times then came to a dead end. On the front of maze i put fake spiders and a cardboard sign that said "HAUNTED HOUSE FREE CANDY ENTER" on it.

The kids in the nieghborhood entered and when they got to the end they found me. but there was no candy. I just had a bunch of chick tracts. I yelled at them and said "YOU ARE DOING SATAN'S WORK! YOU MUST REPENT OF THE DEVIL". I handed them chick tracts. A couple of them got scared so i put my hands on them to keep them from running away. It was no use because my friend Travis who is also a BIBLE BELEIVING CHRISTIAN was blocking the entrance so when they tried to leave Travis wouldnt let them leave.

Travis and I blocked them in and told them they couldnt leave until they recieve JESUS CHRIST AS THEIR SAVOR. Some kids cried but thats good becasue that means the DEVIL is leaving them. Some parents got mad and yelled at us and told them to let their kids go but I pushed those parents to the ground and called them satan worshippors and said they are dragging their kids to hell. Yea i had to fight a couple times with adults but I WAS FIGHTING FOR THE LORD.

Cops came and i couldnt do it anymore. That just shows how the liberals have ruined america. You cant take kids away from parents and show them the truth that JESUS DIED FOR THERE SINS. Thank you Obama!!!!!!

[Cranky Old Man]

Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

Would Landover approve this?

Of course not. That is not a real gun, a real gun would blast that pumpkin into little pieces in one shot.

[Jo Freddie]

Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

Would Landover approve this?

[Father Peter Rast]

Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

Mr. Manning, your zeal to bring the children to Christ impresses me. Have you ever thought of converting to God's genuinely favorite church, the Catholic Church?

[Justin Z]

Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

I want a pumpkin like that! I suggest all people make pediabear pumpkin carvings! I don't have a True Christian wife to order to do it though. Would they mess up yet another simple task like that? Maybe they should carve it in a freshly baked pie instead.

[Felicity]

Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

@Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D. What a cute pumpkin! Did you make it yourself?

[Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.]

Dear Friends,

It occurred to me just denying children who are begging for handouts candy might not be the best approach to this. Inspired by the pediabear Felicity seems to like so much, I decided to try a different approach. Using the cute bear and some candy I lure children into my "trap" after which I will convert them. To make sure they don't resist I added some chemicals to the candy making them more receptive to God's important message. I bought some blue energy pills to make sure I last long enough to fill all those children with the joy of Jesus. Praise The LORD!

"I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also" (John 14:3).



Yours in Christ,

Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.