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  • #1

    A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

    Dear Friends,

    It occurred to me just denying children who are begging for handouts candy might not be the best approach to this. Inspired by the pediabear Felicity seems to like so much, I decided to try a different approach. Using the cute bear and some candy I lure children into my "trap" after which I will convert them. To make sure they don't resist I added some chemicals to the candy making them more receptive to God's important message. I bought some blue energy pills to make sure I last long enough to fill all those children with the joy of Jesus. Praise The LORD!

    "I will come again, and receive you unto myself; that where I am, there ye may be also" (John 14:3).



    Yours in Christ,

    Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D.
    How to Study the Bible - About HELL! - The Miracles of Jesus - Biblical Facts - Scientific PROOF

    THE BIBLE SAYS THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY TO HEAVEN!
    Jesus said: "I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me." John 14:6

    ONLY JESUS CAN SAVE YOU!

    "That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus,
    and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him
    from the dead, thou shalt be saved." Romans 10:9

    1. Admit you are a worthless sinner. Romans 3:10
    2. Be willing to turn from sin (repent). Acts 17:30
    3. Believe that Jesus Christ died for you, was buried and
    rose from the dead. Romans 10:9-10
    4. Through prayer, invite Jesus into your life to become
    your personal Savior, Boss, King and Lord. Romans 10:13
    		What to Pray:

    Lord Jesus, I know that I have sinned against you.
    I know that I am not perfect and that I can never
    please you through my own efforts. I know that I
    deserve to be judged according to my sins. And, I
    know that I have absolutely nothing to offer you.

    Lord Jesus, I ask you to forgive me. I do not rely
    on myself but only on you and I receive you as
    Lord of my life and as savior of my soul.
    Lord Jesus, please save me!
    		Accepted Jesus as your Savior?
    Now you need to:

    1. Study your KJV Bible every day
    to get to know Christ better.
    2. Talk to God in prayer every day.
    3. Be baptized, worship, fellowship,
    and serve with other Christians
    in a church where Christ is preached,
    and the Bible is the final authority.
    4. Tell others about Jesus Christ
    until the day Jesus finally kills you.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

    @Pastor J.C. Manning, M.D., Ph.D. What a cute pumpkin! Did you make it yourself?
    I Jesus!

    Comment

    • #3
      Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

      I want a pumpkin like that! I suggest all people make pediabear pumpkin carvings! I don't have a True Christian wife to order to do it though. Would they mess up yet another simple task like that? Maybe they should carve it in a freshly baked pie instead.

      Comment

      • #4
        Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

        Mr. Manning, your zeal to bring the children to Christ impresses me. Have you ever thought of converting to God's genuinely favorite church, the Catholic Church?
        Matthew 16:18-19: So I now say to you: You are Peter and on this rock I will build my community. And the gates of the underworld can never overpower it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of Heaven: whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven; whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

        Comment

        • #5
          Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!


          Would Landover approve this?
          Posted via Pasta

          True Pastafarian™

          May my Sauce be with you!
          Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
          Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
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          • #6
            Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

            Originally posted by Jo Freddie View Post
            Would Landover approve this?
            Of course not. That is not a real gun, a real gun would blast that pumpkin into little pieces in one shot.
            5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
            To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
            James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

            Comment

            • #7
              Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

              I never had the oppertunity to trick kids in coming to my door since i never lived in a house. But a couple years back i was living in a luxury mobile home community on the outskirts of town and there were kids coming to all the trailers asking for candy. well one year i constructed a maze out of plywood since i was working in constructiun at the time so i had axxess to a bunch of wood anyways what i did was make a maze which was a long tunnel that turned a couple times then came to a dead end. On the front of maze i put fake spiders and a cardboard sign that said "HAUNTED HOUSE FREE CANDY ENTER" on it.

              The kids in the nieghborhood entered and when they got to the end they found me. but there was no candy. I just had a bunch of chick tracts. I yelled at them and said "YOU ARE DOING SATAN'S WORK! YOU MUST REPENT OF THE DEVIL". I handed them chick tracts. A couple of them got scared so i put my hands on them to keep them from running away. It was no use because my friend Travis who is also a BIBLE BELEIVING CHRISTIAN was blocking the entrance so when they tried to leave Travis wouldnt let them leave.

              Travis and I blocked them in and told them they couldnt leave until they recieve JESUS CHRIST AS THEIR SAVOR. Some kids cried but thats good becasue that means the DEVIL is leaving them. Some parents got mad and yelled at us and told them to let their kids go but I pushed those parents to the ground and called them satan worshippors and said they are dragging their kids to hell. Yea i had to fight a couple times with adults but I WAS FIGHTING FOR THE LORD.

              Cops came and i couldnt do it anymore. That just shows how the liberals have ruined america. You cant take kids away from parents and show them the truth that JESUS DIED FOR THERE SINS. Thank you Obama!!!!!!


              YES! I AM A CLOWN FOR CHRIST! Owner/Operator of Lord's Derisive Laughter Christian Clown Ministry.
              Read my inspiring testimonial of how I came to Christ!
              Rebuko's Sleepover Castle - Let your kids spend the night at my place for a One-Night Jesus Camp experience!

              Comment

              • #8
                Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

                Originally posted by a Romanist "priest" View Post
                Mr. Manning, your zeal to bring the children to Christ impresses me. Have you ever thought of converting to God's genuinely favorite church, the Catholic Church?
                That's "Pastor Manning" to you, papist, and stop recruiting for the death-cookie cult on God's favorite discussion board.
                This church is dedicated to preaching True Christianity™ and the King James Bible exactly as they are, with no alterations to make them more politically correct for modern liberals. If you think that we've misquoted or twisted Scripture or quoted any verse out of context, please explain in detail how we've done so. Otherwise, if what you read on this site offends you, then you're offended by Almighty God and His Word, not by us.

                Questions to ask liberal "Christians" ✞ Things that the Bible doesn't say ✞ Tolerance

                sigpic

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                • #9
                  Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

                  Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
                  Of course not. That is not a real gun, a real gun would blast that pumpkin into little pieces in one shot.
                  Is it not a case of using the appropriate equipment for the job in had, after all you would not use this for a Turkey shoot would you?

                  Not if the aim of the exercise was to bag a bird for the table.
                  Posted via Pasta

                  True Pastafarian™

                  May my Sauce be with you!
                  Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
                  Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
                  The Loose Canon - HTML version
                  Loose Canon Fan Page
                  North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
                  I have been to The Volcano!

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

                    Originally posted by Jo Freddie View Post
                    Is it not a case of using the appropriate equipment for the job in had, after all you would not use this for a Turkey shoot would you?
                    Not if the aim of the exercise was to bag a bird for the table.
                    I thought pirates used pig-stickers.


                    In any event, you will kindly stop derailing our threads or you will be thrown out on your scabby bottom.
                    Who Will Jesus Damn?

                    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                    Comment

                    • #11
                      Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

                      That is such a cute pumpkin! How devoted you are Pastor Manning to be so dedicated to witnessing to children. I hope you get a lot of conversions tonight!
                      Matthew 19:14 - But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

                      Originally posted by Justin Z View Post
                      I want a pumpkin like that! I suggest all people make pediabear pumpkin carvings! I don't have a True Christian wife to order to do it though. Would they mess up yet another simple task like that? Maybe they should carve it in a freshly baked pie instead.
                      I don't think Pediabear would be that hard to decorate a pie with, maybe some sort of raised crust decal? Here's the pediabear cake I made for my little cousin's 9th birthday



                      She loooved it!
                      Girls for God

                      Ephesians 5:22

                      Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

                      Comment

                      • #12
                        Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

                        @Annie1 That cake is cute!
                        I Jesus!

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

                          Originally posted by Pastor Isaac Peters View Post
                          That's "Pastor Manning" to you, papist, and stop recruiting for the death-cookie cult on God's favorite discussion board.
                          If you knew all the bennees we papists get, especially in the land of many cheeses, you'd be rushing to convert.
                          Easter Sunday and Monday, Pentecost, Ascension, Assomption, tomorrow's ALL SAINTS' and of course Christmas are ALL legal holidays.
                          Plus in eastern France you get off Good Friday because apparently something happened then.
                          Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

                            Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                            I thought pirates used pig-stickers.


                            In any event, you will kindly stop derailing our threads or you will be thrown out on your scabby bottom.
                            Your lifesytle may have caused you to have a sore rear Zekie Boy, but mine has not.
                            Posted via Pasta

                            True Pastafarian™

                            May my Sauce be with you!
                            Read the TRUE Gospel The Gospel of the Flying Spaghetti Monster (ISBN 978-0-00-723160-7)
                            Get one and get with The Flying Spaghetti Monster
                            The Loose Canon - HTML version
                            Loose Canon Fan Page
                            North American? Speak English? Thank a Pirate.
                            I have been to The Volcano!

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Re: A different approach to Halloween, candy and conversion!

                              Originally posted by Jo Freddie View Post
                              Your lifesytle may have caused you to have a sore rear Zekie Boy, but mine has not.
                              Speaking of body parts and lack thereof... whatabout that pegleg? If you used that as a tool would it count as a, well, you know, sin? Are peglegs sinful?
                              Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called children of God.

                              Comment

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