Halloween Rules In Freehold

[Johny Joe Hold]

Notice to Children and Parents: Rules During Halloween

First of all, friends, we must recognize that Halloween is a pagan and gay celebration.

I did attempt to ban all decorations and trick or treating last year. This resulted in a legal challenge from the Iowa ACLU. The court ruled plastic pumpkins are not pagan symbols. Staff has advised I do not issue the ban this year.

This year, I am issuing "guidelines" that I hope will bring about the Christian behavior we expect here in Freehold.

If your children insist on dressing up and going door to door, they must be accompanied by parents, NOT IN COMSTUMES.

No children costumes should come from the costume store in Downtown Des Moines that displays the Jesus mask. Mocking Jesus is not permissable Christian behavior.

My favorite masks are the ones which mock President Obama.

A most pleasant Fall season to the wonderful citizens of Freehold.

Johny Joe Hold, Mayor

[JessicaLovesGod!]

Re: Halloween Rules In Freehold

Those are wonderful rules Mr.Mayor! Would you mind if I tried to pass those in my town as well? Someone has to try to save all the people here from those horrors of helloween.

[Bob4God]

Re: Halloween Rules In Freehold

Disallowing kids from going around town in masks is just good sense.

Why, if one of those 6-year-olds breaks a window to steal expensive goods, or spray paints a Mercedes, we want their face to be plainly visible to security cameras and witnesses.

People who hide their faces are always up to no good. Just look at Muslim women.

[Halleluyah Rob]

Re: Halloween Rules In Freehold

My favorite masks are the ones which mock President Obama.

While I understand your enthusiasm in mocking him, I'm not sure I'd want my son dressed up like that monkey. It might taint him.

[JessicaLovesGod!]

Re: Halloween Rules In Freehold

Disallowing kids from going around town in masks is just good sense.

Why, if one of those 6-year-olds breaks a window to steal expensive goods, or spray paints a Mercedes, we want their face to be plainly visible to security cameras and witnesses.

People who hide their faces are always up to no good. Just look at Muslim women.

That is very true Brother Bob! Next they'll be sending in little children dressed up as satan to blow up buildings if we're not careful!

[Vavoline Johnson]

Re: Halloween Rules In Freehold

Notice to Children and Parents: Rules During Halloween

First of all, friends, we must recognize that Halloween is a pagan and gay celebration.

snippin da rules
Johny Joe Hold, Mayor

Now I dont see nothin bout where them colored kids gonna be Hallerweenin.
Jist cause we black don't mean we want any of them kids over at our place, neither.
I tole yous last time LeRoy Cummins kid, yup da nappy haired one, broke one of our fancy candy dishes cause da greedy lil bastard tried graggin everything his grubby ole hand could hold.
Knocked that dish right outta Granny Faiths hand. The thing shattered all over the place and a piece got in LeRoy eye oh so he claimed cause he a lyin son of abitch, too.
Anyways done cost us $274 fo that shifty Joo Dr to take it out.
So please tell em all to go over to whatever town be next to ours an take their candies. Thank you

[Bible Student]

Re: Halloween Rules In Freehold

Now I dont see nothin bout where them colored kids gonna be Hallerweenin.
Jist cause we black don't mean we want any of them kids over at our place, neither.
I tole yous last time LeRoy Cummins kid, yup da nappy haired one, broke one of our fancy candy dishes cause da greedy lil bastard tried graggin everything his grubby ole hand could hold.
Knocked that dish right outta Granny Faiths hand. The thing shattered all over the place and a piece got in LeRoy eye oh so he claimed cause he a lyin son of abitch, too.
Anyways done cost us $274 fo that shifty Joo Dr to take it out.
So please tell em all to go over to whatever town be next to ours an take their candies. Thank you

Sister Vavoline, do you happen to have a dog you can chain to your front door? Are you accidentally leaving your lights on during trick-or-treat hours?

[Vavoline Johnson]

Re: Halloween Rules In Freehold

Sister Vavoline, do you happen to have a dog you can chain to your front door? Are you accidentally leaving your lights on during trick-or-treat hours?

We don't got one but we kin always steal one if need be.
Thankee for yo sound advice Mr BS

[Proud Faroese]

Re: Halloween Rules In Freehold

I just found an Obama mask in the Freehold Toy Store during my United States vacation

[Forest Spirit]

Re: Halloween Rules In Freehold

Halloween Rules In Freehold

Wow, I thought halloween ruled in San Francisco, you guys must be really lucky.

[James Hutchins]

Re: Halloween Rules In Freehold

I just found an Obama mask in the Freehold Toy Store during my United States vacation

Those eyes look real, how they follow you about. Just like the nigras in Detroit!