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  • Levi Jones
    Pastor of Hermeneutics and Apologetics
    Bathed in Christ's Precious Blood
    Apostle to the Cactuses, Tumbleweeds and Jackrabbits
     
    • Jul 2009
    • 13930

    #1

    Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons.

    The witch population was a bit thin this year, so we won't be issuing any tags this season.

    This year's hunt is our investigation into the possessed and haunted places.

    I will be investigating the Eastern State Penitentiary. It just has to be evil. Look at how scary the ramparts are!



    The prison housed inmates in solitary confinement at all times for the first few years it was in operation. It was said to drive the inmates insane. So you just know there are ghosts or demons present.



    I will be there to pray and perhaps be tested. I will be praying to exorcise the facility of all evil spirits. I am sure they will not like that and will probably target me.

    I need all the saints out there to pray for me as I go to do spiritual warfare.

    Of course I will be fasting first as Jesus says to drive out the particularly nasty spirits.

    Matthew 17:19,21 Then came the disciples to Jesus apart, and said, Why could not we cast him out?
    21 Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting.

    Jesus fasted for 40 days before going to do battle with Satan, so I only being half as good as Jesus, will fast for 20 days before I battle the demons. I am sure to draw them out and see them if I do that!

    What will you guys be doing to investigate and do spiritual battle with the evil principalities?
    Christians are superior because we possess an understanding that unbelievers lack. It is through the Power of Jesus only the converted mind is able to understand what is going on in the world; what the Communists are really up to; what Satan's intentions are. Most unbelievers do not even believe in Satan and cannot understand his tactics.
  • Pastor Ezekiel
    Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
     
    • Sep 2006
    • 78556

    #2
    Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons.

    I'm concentrating my efforts in slantland. They have so many ghosts you won't believe it.







    I hope to bring one back for our Creation Scientists to examine.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

    Comment

    • Bjorn Jensen
      True Christian™
      True Christian™
      • Apr 2012
      • 2356

      #3
      Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons.

      Sounds like a case for the Freehold Demonbusters department.

      Comment

      • WWJDnow
        True Christian™
        True Christian™
        • Aug 2009
        • 6314

        #4
        Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons.

        Originally posted by Levi Jones View Post
        The witch population was a bit thin this year, so we won't be issuing any tags this season
        I don't know whether I can go a whole year without bagging me a witch in the witch hunt. What's the penalty for poaching witches?
        The Christian Right: The Only Right Way to Be a Christian!

        Comment

        • Sister Saffie
          Forum Member
          Forum Member
          • Sep 2013
          • 40

          #5
          Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons.

          If we're not doing witches this year may I suggest hippies?

          Comment

          • RadicalGirl
            Unsaved Trash, filthy obese repulsive godmocking whore
            • Sep 2013
            • 7

            #6
            Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons.

            Witch hunt? Is it like flag football or paintball or something?

            Comment

            • Zechariah Smyth
              Walking in all the commandments and ordinances of the Lord blameless.
              True Christian™
              • Feb 2011
              • 15251

              #7
              Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons.

              Originally posted by RadicalGirl View Post
              Witch hunt? Is it like flag football or paintball or something?
              Please put a little more thought in your posts. Use the search function here, or try Google.

              Yours in Christ,

              Z. Smyth
              sigpic

              Comment

              • Liam the ex-drunk
                Former Mary Hailer who has seen The Light©
                Forum Member
                • Dec 2010
                • 403

                #8
                Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons.

                This year I will be concentrating my efforts on the search for the Irish banshee, a sister of satan and half ghost half witch entity. I believe that my faith will protect me from her evil screech which is supposed to bring death to all who hear it.

                I believe that this evil screech is nothing more than some poor soul crying out for Jesus and I think that with prayer I can release it to the bossom of christ and send the evil entity that corrupts her to the fires of hell.

                An Irish Banshee
                Matthew 10:34
                Think not that I am come to send peace on earth: I came not to send peace, but a sword.

                Comment

                • Johny Joe Hold
                  Mayor of Freehold
                   
                  • Feb 2010
                  • 12780

                  #9
                  Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons.

                  I've become concerned with old people in nursing homes. So many have hollow eyes, pasty skin and ugly white hair.

                  Some of them can't, or won't, talk. They might be possessed with demons but there is no way to tell.

                  It seems safer to assume the worst and get them into some kind of physical confinement so they don't infect others.
                  Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

                  Comment

                  • Billy Bob Jenkins
                    Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
                    About as Straight and Manly as you can get
                    Hates anal sex. And trees.
                    True Christian™
                    • May 2010
                    • 8337

                    #10
                    Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons.

                    Spastics, elves, and other retards are always infested to the brim with discarnate, paranormal entities. They are also easy to catch, but get lost easily. Einstein was a good example.

                    Make sure not to get doused with their ectoplasm. It is a surefire way to contract the GRIDS. Then you will shrink, turn retarded, twitch violently, or something else, depending on what type of spiritual defect is associated with the hellspawn you have encountered.

                    So always come prepared as if you were entering a biochemical hotzone. JSLIST (joint service lightweight integrated suit technology) at MOPP (mission oriented protective posture) level 4 with a filter mask at a minimum, just like you were ministering to a homosexual. You don't want to wind up like one of those spastics who look like they have been doused with nerve agent.
                    The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                    Comment

                    • Thomas Taylor
                      Forum Member
                      Forum Member
                      • Oct 2012
                      • 1486

                      #11
                      Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons.

                      This year I shall be hunting midgets. There's one stalking the forum at the minute that I would dearly love to put the fear of God into.
                      Isaiah 66:15

                      For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.

                      Comment

                      • Thomas Taylor
                        Forum Member
                        Forum Member
                        • Oct 2012
                        • 1486

                        #12
                        Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons.

                        A few of the midget demonss I have caught so far. Note the similarities between them and lallygagger46. Maybe they are related.
                        Last edited by Thomas Taylor; 02-15-2017, 12:55 PM.
                        Isaiah 66:15

                        For behold, the Lord wil come with fire, and with his charets like a whirlewinde, to render his anger with furie, and his rebuke with flames of fire.

                        Comment

                        • Billy Bob Jenkins
                          Family Man of the Year 2010-2013
                          About as Straight and Manly as you can get
                          Hates anal sex. And trees.
                          True Christian™
                          • May 2010
                          • 8337

                          #13
                          Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons.

                          Originally posted by Thomas Taylor View Post
                          A few of the midget demonss I have caught so far. Note the similarities between them and lallygagger46. Maybe they are related.
                          Because of the incestuous inclinations of midgets, most of them are indeed related. Hence their repellent deformity.
                          The Only Real Climate Change Will be Hell!

                          Comment

                          • Johny Joe Hold
                            Mayor of Freehold
                             
                            • Feb 2010
                            • 12780

                            #14
                            Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons.

                            On my afternoon walk today, some teenage girls ask me if I thought it would OK to dress up as singing nuns.

                            I told them no way. "In Freehold, people will throw stones at you."

                            Their parents have not taught them properly.
                            Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

                            Comment

                            • Sweet Dew
                              Unsaved trash
                              Under Investigation
                              • Oct 2013
                              • 3

                              #15
                              Re: Helloween 2013. We are going to investigate ghosts and demons.

                              God is great, isn't he?

                              Comment

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