[Witch of Endor]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

What is your favorite recipe for baby? Or do you just eat them raw, like atheists?

According to Mr. Kirkeholm, smoothie-style*

My you Christians do seem to go on and on about eating babies. On a completely unrelated note, I was wondering if anybody could tell me what the population growth for Freehold is. Somehow I have the feeling its negative.

Blessed be, my friends who refuse to stop flogging a dead horse

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

* The above statement is sarcastic. I do not, have not, nor will I ever engage in the consumption of human flesh, living or dead, babies or otherwise.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

What is your favorite recipe for baby? Or do you just eat them raw, like atheists?

[Johannes Kirkeholm]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

There are no words I can use to adequately respond to this. Instead, I will have to use this emoticon:



Blessed be, my baby-cannibalism obsessed friend

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

I take your failure to deny my accusation as a sign that I just busted you!

I take so much pleasure in the fact that you will burn in Hell that I have to use these emoticons:



May God cast you into the Lake of Fire sooner rather than later,
Johannes Kirkeholm.

[Witch of Endor]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

I just figured it out. What you do is that you put babies and people in a big blender and then you drink the juice.

May God curse you,
Johannes Kirkeholm

There are no words I can use to adequately respond to this. Instead, I will have to use this emoticon:



Blessed be, my baby-cannibalism obsessed friend

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

[Johannes Kirkeholm]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

I do not eat imaginary babies. Other things I do not do include eating real babies, imagining eating real babies, and imagining eating imaginary babies. This in no way implies that I eat humans that are not babies, or that I imagine eating humans that or not babies, or any permutation of the terms eating, humans, real, and imaginary. Let me also add that I do not sacrifice babies, involve babies in Satanic rituals, or even have anything to do with them really. There, I think I've managed to word that in a way where people can't twist it and imply anything untrue.

I hope that satisfies your question. And on a side note friend, you seem to be awfully obsessed with eating imaginary babies. Might I suggest you talk to one of your Pastors about this?

Blessed be, my persistent friend

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

I just figured it out. What you do is that you put babies and people in a big blender and then you drink the juice.

May God curse you,
Johannes Kirkeholm

[Witch of Endor]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

Do you eat imaginary babies/Imagine eating babies?

I do not eat imaginary babies. Other things I do not do include eating real babies, imagining eating real babies, and imagining eating imaginary babies. This in no way implies that I eat humans that are not babies, or that I imagine eating humans that or not babies, or any permutation of the terms eating, humans, real, and imaginary. Let me also add that I do not sacrifice babies, involve babies in Satanic rituals, or even have anything to do with them really. There, I think I've managed to word that in a way where people can't twist it and imply anything untrue.

I hope that satisfies your question. And on a side note friend, you seem to be awfully obsessed with eating imaginary babies. Might I suggest you talk to one of your Pastors about this?

Blessed be, my persistent friend

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

[Johannes Kirkeholm]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

I changed nothing friend. Perhaps your God changed your post to make my argument look ridiculous. Or you edited it after I posted that. Take your pick.

For a non-believer in math, you are awfully good at it! Are there other things you don't believe in but are good at? Perhaps..... numerology?

Now, please friend, this thread is for Christians to ask an Authentic Wiccan (the term has been copylefted) questions. Could you please phrase your hysterical accusations in the form of one?

Blessed be, non-numerological friend (don't worry, I won't tell anyone otherwise!)

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

Or perhaps your witch powers failed to misquote me. And yes I still know math, I can't change my past. All I can do is to repent it and I do that every hour of every day. Math fails because God is ultimately greater than logic. Mathematicians believe that this is always true:

2+1=3

But God is omnipotent so he can make the following true:

2+1=100

And there you have it! The foundations of math crumble and therefore it can't be real. But enough of this, you keep avoiding answering my very simple question:

Do you eat imaginary babies/Imagine eating babies?

[Witch of Endor]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

Grr. You have changed 'imaginary' to 'irrational' in my post. God won't like this:

And no, I don't believe in numerological nonsense. I don't even believe in math, but I bet that you do and that's why you wrote between 0 and 0 instead of flat out denying eating babies. And you still haven't denied that you eat imaginary babies!

I changed nothing friend. Perhaps your God changed your post to make my argument look ridiculous. Or you edited it after I posted that. Take your pick.

For a non-believer in math, you are awfully good at it! Are there other things you don't believe in but are good at? Perhaps..... numerology?

Now, please friend, this thread is for Christians to ask an Authentic Wiccan (the term has been copylefted) questions. Could you please phrase your hysterical accusations in the form of one?

Blessed be, non-numerological friend (don't worry, I won't tell anyone otherwise!)

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

[Johannes Kirkeholm]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

... you could say that, yes.



What is this? A Christian engaging in the forbidden art of numerology? You may want to read this and repent before any TermiWix goons award you with an all expense paid one-way ticket to Freehold.

Also, please correct me if I'm wrong, but did you just refer to Christian babies as irrational? I only ask because that is the accepted stereotype, yes? That witches eat Christian babies? It seems that you may very well still be an atheist friend, at least from the derogatory way you are referring to Christian babies. I don't care if you are, but your fellows may be mad to see you impersonating a Christian, friend.

Blessed be, my numerological friend

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

Grr. You have changed 'imaginary' to 'irrational' in my post. God won't like this:

Proverbs 6:16-19
These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren

And no, I don't believe in numerological nonsense. I don't even believe in math, but I bet that you do and that's why you wrote between 0 and 0 instead of flat out denying eating babies. And you still haven't denied that you eat imaginary babies!

[Witch of Endor]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

What's a mystery religion? Is it a religion that makes so little sense that it's impossible to work out why anyone follows it?

... you could say that, yes.

Aha! A smart trick, witch! But I used to be an stupid atheist and I still know a bit of math. Ever heard of complex numbers? a + ib? This means that there are a lot of numbers between 0 and 0 such as (0 + 4i) and (0 + 2i) for example. These numbers are called irrational numbers, so I guess you are saying that you eat between 0 and an infinite number of irrational babies each day. Sick!

What is this? A Christian engaging in the forbidden art of numerology? You may want to read this and repent before any TermiWix goons award you with an all expense paid one-way ticket to Freehold.

Also, please correct me if I'm wrong, but did you just refer to Christian babies as irrational? I only ask because that is the accepted stereotype, yes? That witches eat Christian babies? It seems that you may very well still be an atheist friend, at least from the derogatory way you are referring to Christian babies. I don't care if you are, but your fellows may be mad to see you impersonating a Christian, friend.

Blessed be, my numerological friend

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

[Johannes Kirkeholm]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

While I cannot release an actual number to you, I can assure you the number of babies I eat in a day is somewhere between the numbers 0 and 0.

Aha! A smart trick, witch! But I used to be an stupid atheist and I still know a bit of math. Ever heard of complex numbers? a + ib? This means that there are a lot of numbers between 0 and 0 such as (0 + 4i) and (0 + 2i) for example. These numbers are called imaginary numbers, so I guess you are saying that you eat between 0 and an infinite number of imaginary babies each day. Sick!

Proverbs 6:16-19
These six things doth the LORD hate: yea, seven are an abomination unto him:
A proud look, a lying tongue, and hands that shed innocent blood,
An heart that deviseth wicked imaginations, feet that be swift in running to mischief, A false witness that speaketh lies, and he that soweth discord among brethren

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

Bright Blessings, friends. In an effort to improve Christian-Witch relations before your annual Witch-hunt begins, I have been authorized to answer any and all of your questions regarding the world's certifiably oldest mystery religion; that of the Flocculent Lagomorph Coven (est. 2006). I promise to answer all queries both promptly and honestly. Blessed be, my Christian friends Kassandra, Witch of Endor

What's a mystery religion? Is it a religion that makes so little sense that it's impossible to work out why anyone follows it?

[Witch of Endor]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

Do you worship Stonehenge?

An excellent question, Mr. Templeton, and also a very common misconception about Wiccans. What you are thinking about thinking about are Druids, which while similar, are not Wiccans. Wiccans, as a whole, prefer soft, supple, natural things to the tall, stiff rock-hard monoliths that are Stonehenge

Do you keep men for breading only and eat them afterwards?

No, not many men will willingly breed with a witch. It would make it a whole lot harder to find men if we ate them.

Are warlocks more powerful than witches.

"Warlock" is actually a very offensive term in the Pagan community. Everybody, male and female, is a witch, and we try not to use the W-word.

Blessed be, my inquisitive friends

Kassandra, Witch of Endor

[Lisa H]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

Do you keep men for breading only and eat them afterwards?

Are warlocks more powerful than witches.

[Titus Templeton]

Re: Ask an Authentic Wiccan

Do you worship Stonehenge?