[JennyD]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

Mr. Marx, what connection does that demonic-looking racist Obama have with the Church of Satan?

Also, I can't help but be suspicious about Mike Huckabee not taking the Republican nomination. Is John McCain working with Satan, or is he merely the beneficiary of Satan's general conquest of the United States?

Is it true that Ron Paul is the only active candidate without any involvement with Satan, but only because Satan doesn't know who he is?

[Enigmatic Harpo Marx]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

So all those crazy chinese college students who run around shooting hard working decent white students are killer robots and there is a government conspiracy to keep this knowledge from the general public?

That basically hits the nail on the head.

I'm always hearing that orientals are really smart and good at math. Is this because they are actually robots? This would explain why all the orientals I've meet and who visit these forums have been complete and utter idiots. So the dumb orientals are flesh and blood and the rare smart ones are robots? So can I assume Hitoshi is flesh and blood seeing that he is a complete and absolute retard?

The robots are the smart ones (well I use "smart" in a very loosely; I mean, hell, even my computer can do math and I don't consider it smart). But that does make the dumb ones biological. This still makes at least 50% (probably more) of all asians part robot. The intelligence factor is the only reason I haven't openly called Hitoshi a cyborg. Though he has curiously avoided my direct question as to his origins. This strikes me as suspicious since it would be useful for the satanist to be implanting agents into Landover.

So many questions. Are the really yellow orientals the robots? I figured they were yellow because they drink pee, but now I just don't know anymore.

It's actually the "motor oil" type substance they run on that dyes the color of their skin, or "exterior plating" as I like to call it. But for the biological ones, it most likely is all the urine they consume.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

So all those crazy chinese college students who run around shooting hard working decent white students are killer robots and there is a government conspiracy to keep this knowledge from the general public?

Actually, that knowledge has been in the public domain for quite some time now. The Koreans even put out a press release about it when they unveiled their latest school shooting robot.

[Joshua Brooks]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

Now, I don't know anything about robots in the desert but I can tell you (and doing this may come back to haunt me if the satanists find out who's leaking information) that not all asians are human. There are a good number of factories owned by various satanic groups throughout countries in the Far East that create cyborgs made to look like normal asian people (if you can call them normal). This is probably the robot army you're refering to (though there may be newer facilities in the deserts of the Middle East) since they are programmed to seek and destroy Christians.

So all those crazy chinese college students who run around shooting hard working decent white students are killer robots and there is a government conspiracy to keep this knowledge from the general public?

I'm always hearing that orientals are really smart and good at math. Is this because they are actually robots? This would explain why all the orientals I've meet and who visit these forums have been complete and utter idiots. So the dumb orientals are flesh and blood and the rare smart ones are robots? So can I assume Hitoshi is flesh and blood seeing that he is a complete and absolute retard?

So many questions. Are the really yellow orientals the robots? I figured they were yellow because they drink pee, but now I just don't know anymore.

[Enigmatic Harpo Marx]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

You and your coven, how many goats and babies did y'all sacrifice?

Well, covens are for witches (as in females) and I didn't actually keep track of the exact numbers, but one particular cult I was in was able to get an annual goat body count of about 150 and 4-5 babies for certain holidays if we were lucky (babies were a lot harder to come by).

[Miss Maisie]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

You and your coven, how many goats and babies did y'all sacrifice?

[Enigmatic Harpo Marx]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

Perhaps Hitoshi is an experimental Tamagotchi gone horribly wrong?

He's completely avoided my question as to whether or not he's a cyborg so I wouldn't be surprised. I can't help but wonder how they fit him into that little box though.

A question for the reformed devil worshipper......what was it that finally made you open your eyes and reach for the loving warmth of the Lord?

Landover was really the catalyst. I was able to compare Christians against satanists, side by side, and realized that I must have been doing something wrong.

[Miss Maisie]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

A question for the reformed devil worshipper......what was it that finally made you open your eyes and reach for the loving warmth of the Lord?

[Wide-Open]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

Perhaps Hitoshi is an experimental Tamagotchi gone horribly wrong?

[Enigmatic Harpo Marx]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

Are you referring to the Japanese hugging robots? I can see how HC could have failed that training session.

That's how they started out. Pretty nice cover, eh? Since then they become much more violent.

[Nobar King]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

Personally, I think she's also a failed beta for the asian cyborgs.

Are you referring to the Japanese hugging robots? I can see how HC could have failed that training session.

[Enigmatic Harpo Marx]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

That's hardly unique to Satanists. What about Mahommedans?

Good point, I forgot about them...but then again, who doesn't.

Can you tell us what position Hillary Clinton holds in the Church of Satan and the Gothic Cult?

She's one of satan's whores (and yes, I say that knowing full well that all of satan's whores are men). Personally, I think she's also a failed beta for the asian cyborgs. I don't have any evidence for this yet; it's just a hunch.

Does this explain Hitoshi? If so, should he be banned again?

I've had my suspicions about him from the beginning but I wouldn't ban him again until we know for sure.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

Hehe, well I guess the obvious answer would be "worshiping satan," but I think that one's kind of a given.

That's hardly unique to Satanists. What about Mahommedans?

I have but I never listened to them. I used to listen to music that was actually satanic, a.k.a Beatles ablums played backwards.

Or forwards!

Can you confirm for us that Marilyn Manson is the head of the Church of Satan and the Gothic Cult, and tell us more about his plans to use Goths and Wiccers as suicide bombers against Christians.

Can you tell us what position Hillary Clinton holds in the Church of Satan and the Gothic Cult?

Now, I don't know anything about robots in the desert but I can tell you (and doing this may come back to haunt me if the satanists find out who's leaking information) that not all asians are human. There are a good number of factories owned by various satanic groups throughout countries in the Far East that create cyborgs made to look like normal asian people (if you can call them normal). This is probably the robot army you're refering to (though there may be newer facilities in the deserts of the Middle East) since they are programmed to seek and destroy Christians.

Does this explain Hitoshi? If so, should he be banned again?

[Enigmatic Harpo Marx]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

Here you go, friend.

Thank you Pastor, now I can finally throw away those satanic rock albums.

how am I get invite to satanic orgy?

I don't think can Hitoshi. There are some things that even satanists won't do (a.k.a. you).

Hmmm....quick quesiton Hitoshi, you're not a cyborg by any chance, are you?

[Enigmatic Harpo Marx]

Re: Ask an Ex-satanist

Heh, are you trying to say that the food is not worthy for even a satanist?

Satanists really aren't picky when it comes to food but I can't imagine it would be good enough for a person used to home cooked meals.

When you were a Satanist, how many times were you sodomized by Marilyn Manson? Also, were an animals involved. If so, which kind? Cats? Dogs? Cows? Goats?

I never had the "honor" (as I would have called it at the time) of meeting him in person. I did come close one time but I didn't have a backstage pass so security booted me.

Goats are almost always and indefinitely involved in the sodomy. Satanists love their goats.

Can you confirm for us that mary worshipers are directly in league with your ex-master satan, and that the roman pope is his willing thrall, carrying out his diabolical plans all over the world in an attempt to crush True Christianity™?

But of course. Why else would any person dress like this?



Look at the evil in those squinty eyes.

I had another picture that my only Christian friend once sent me of a demon dressed in a red robe at the Vatican.....but I think satan's minions hacked my computer and deleted it to prevent me from spreading the Truth. It was sure fire proof that the catholics are in league with satan....I wonder if I can get him to send it to me again.

What I would like to know is how these Organizations work together. Who is pulling the strings? The Pope or Mr Manson? Or are my theories about Steven Hawking being the leader of this war against God founded?

The heirarchy is very complex and the one pulling the strings is satan himself. Each satanic organization performs its own duties in an attempt to attack God and his followers from all sides. Hawking tries his best to disprove God through his use of "science", the catholics are trying to create a powerful organization with the ability to start a satanic New World Order, and Manson can be thought of as a general of sorts training and ordering satan's little Goth lackeys.

There is still an order of power and in terms of who holds the most sway, I would have to say the catholics. They have the most money and the most members so they tend to call the shots, though it can be debated that there are some unground, shadow groups that are even above the catholics such as the Illuminati and the like but substantial evidence is few and far between (but still out there).

Also, Is the Church of Satan at the head of the Catholic Church, or the other way around? And what about these rumors we keep hearing about plans to build a massive robot army somewhere in the desert, programmed by Goths and Satanists, to attack Churches and kill Christians?

Since the Church of Satan was founded so much later than the Catholic Church, the Catholics tend to get an attitude about being a kind of "first born" and refuse to take orders from the CoS. The CoS is really just the frosting on the satanic stripper cake.

Now, I don't know anything about robots in the desert but I can tell you (and doing this may come back to haunt me if the satanists find out who's leaking information) that not all asians are human. There are a good number of factories owned by various satanic groups throughout countries in the Far East that create cyborgs made to look like normal asian people (if you can call them normal). This is probably the robot army you're refering to (though there may be newer facilities in the deserts of the Middle East) since they are programmed to seek and destroy Christians.