Jesus, Pimp My Life!

[Witch Hammer]

Each and every day I watch in total disgust as vicious cornholers, feral bulldykes, retards and atheists waltz in here and immediately begin spewing rank bile onto the Savior's tear-streaked face, unprovoked.

My first reaction? Find out where they live and lay waste to them, of course, and hasten their plummet into hellfire. Deuteronomy 33:27

The eternal God is thy refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms: and he shall thrust out the enemy from before thee; and shall say, Destroy them.

But alas, God also wishes that none should perish:
2 Peter 3:9

The Lord is not slack concerning his promise, as some men count slackness; but is longsuffering to us-ward, not willing that any should perish, but that all should come to repentance.

So, unsaved trash, I will share this good news with you today:

God could love you, too! It is possible to gain acceptance from the source of all creation! Don't you want Him to stop hating your filthy, stinking guts? Don't you want your name registered in the Book of Life? Don't you want to have Jesus grant your prayers? Would you like to be spared from an eternity of teeth gnashing and weeping in the fiery lake? To avoid sodomy at the end of Satan's gnarled pud, the girth and length of which is second only to the Savior's? Ouch!, amen?

Well, potential non-enemies of The Faith, what are you waiting for? Christ will give you a new leash on life! Accept the free* gift of Salvation, now!

Prayers answered. John 15:7

Perversions cured. Psalm 139:24

Mansion in a negroe-free neighborhood, new model luxury sedan, stacks of spending cash.2 Chronicles 1:12

Immortality. John 3:16


Strike while the iron is hot, this offer ends soon!Revelation 20:11-15

* terms and conditions apply, consult your KJV 1611 for details

[VictoryOS]

Re: Jesus, Pimp My Life!

Such a timely message, Witch Hammer! There is always hope for the unsaved, but time is running out. One look at the headlines will show the multitude of stories involving gun violence. It's a plot by the leftwing communist hippie government to have an excuse to take away our guns and our rights as Americans. It's truly the End Times.

Sinners, repent now while you still have the chance! Go to Walmart and buy up all the ammunition you can before Obama takes it away!

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: Jesus, Pimp My Life!

Amen! I do my best trying to show unsaved folks the joys of our good Lord and Savior, but they are so stubborn! I pray for them, and this post I will pray they will see and read!

[HateTheSin]

Re: Jesus, Pimp My Life!

God could love you, too! It is possible to gain acceptance from the source of all creation! Don't you want Him to stop hating your filthy, stinking guts? Don't you want your name registered in the Book of Life? Don't you want to have Jesus grant your prayers? Would you like to be spared from an eternity of teeth gnashing and weeping in the fiery lake? To avoid sodomy at the end of Satan's gnarled pud, the girth and length of which is second only to the Savior's? Ouch!, amen?

Well, potential non-enemies of The Faith, what are you waiting for? Christ will give you a new leash on life! Accept the free* gift of Salvation, now!

GLORY !!