[Jesus]

Re: An Open Letter to Kirk Cameron

You ladies of Landover are making a big mistake with all this unseemly fawning over Kirk Cameron. That boy has more skeletons in his closet than Hillary Clinton.

I would advise you girls to look closer to home. Your Pastor Ezekiel has more flat-out godly foxiness in his pinky than Kirk Cameron has in his entire body. And as I understand it, Pastor Flint is still single, ladies....Just sayin'.

Bless me.

[Mrs. Elizabeth Johnson]

Re: An Open Letter to Kirk Cameron

You ladies of Landover are making a big mistake with all this unseemly fawning over Kirk Cameron. That boy has more skeletons in his closet than Hillary Clinton.

I would advise you girls to look closer to home. Your Pastor Ezekiel has more flat-out godly foxiness in his pinky than Kirk Cameron has in his entire body. And as I understand it, Pastor Flint is still single, ladies....Just sayin'.

Bless me.

Thank you for the rebuke from Your Most Holy Mouth. I am a married woman, but I will obey Your every command and advice, as I obey all of the Bible. May I soon meet You when You call us up to Heaven.

Your servant,
Elizabeth

[WWJDnow]

Re: An Open Letter to Kirk Cameron

If I still lived in Freehold, I would have offered to host Brother Kirk myself. He is a good Christian, but why lead him to temptation in the form of the excellent pies of the Ladies of Landover?