[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: How to be an Atheist

Shout Glory!!

[Dirk]

Re: How to be an Atheist

Why again Pastor?

[Billy Bob Jenkins]

Re: How to be an Atheist

23. Spend your free time swearing in front of children and punching pregnant women in the stomach.

[iluvdarwin]

Re: How to be an Atheist

How to be a Christian:

1. Abandon all sense of rationality, logic, and reason. In fact, just abandon all sense altogether.
2. Apply supernatural explanations to ALL unknown phenomena. If we don't have it answer to it, that obviously means that God did it.
3. When presented with evidence of evolution, immediately start calling evolution "just a theory", because theories are untested and don't have any proof, RIGHT!?!?!?
4. Say that God gave you "divine, spiritual proof" of his existence. (The cool thing about being a Christian is that you can do whatever you want as long as you ask Jesus for forgiveness.)
5. Believe that the Bible is the only 100% absolute truth, because it says in the Bible that the Bible is true.
6. Threaten ANYONE who says anything that isn't "JESUS IS LORD" with eternal pain and suffering.
7. Finally, keep in fellowship with other like-minded Christians who believe as you believe, and encourage each other in your beliefs. Build up your faith. Never doubt for a moment. Remember, the key to Christianity is to be unreasonable. Fall back on that when you feel threatened. Think shallow, and keep telling yourself that you are intelligent. Remember, a Christian is someone who pretends there is a God.

8. Lobotomize yourself with a crucifix up your nose until you feel the *pop*. In between your incoherent raving and drooling, yell "jesus", "bible", and "hell" intermittently.

9. Judge everyone whose opinion varies from yours to be evil or a homosexual to hide your own lack of self-importance or value to society. Whenever someone turns that judgmental looking glass back at you, quote a book that has been translated hundreds of times over a thousand years by slaves forced to interpret it the way the current regieme dictated. The only true version is written in hebrew and ALL current bibles are Cliff's Notes of the real thing.

[Lisa H]

Re: How to be an Atheist

8. Lobotomize yourself with a crucifix up your nose until you feel the *pop*. In between your incoherent raving and drooling, yell "jesus", "bible", and "hell" intermittently.

9. Judge everyone whose opinion varies from yours to be evil or a homosexual to hide your own lack of self-importance or value to society. Whenever someone turns that judgmental looking glass back at you, quote a book that has been translated hundreds of times over a thousand years by slaves forced to interpret it the way the current regieme dictated. The only true version is written in hebrew and ALL current bibles are Cliff's Notes of the real thing.

[Taylor]

Re: How to be an Atheist

20. Be sure not to put too much effort into your spelling or grammar when being an "online atheist". You see, if you write like a 733+4rd or other 4chan reject, others will realize that you are both "hip" and "with it", and that you are so secure in your knowledge that God does not exist that you need not concern yourself with whether people think you're an imbecile, a raving lunatic, or just a self-important homeless white trash (or even Negro or HisPanic) teenager with no formal education.

Special note: The most "kewl" and "groovy" atheists are such mellow "hep cats" that they don't even bother to spell "atheist" correctly. Be sure to type it as "athiest", and talk about "christains". It just shows those silly Christians how little you care what they think of you or what you say!

Say it with me, "im a athiest sooooo scary & i h8 christains cuz they luv jeebuz & u all goin 2 hell cuz u call me fuddpakr & god saz u hafta b tolrent".

21. When asked for references for your various claims of "science", be sure you don't provide anything (or, at best, Wikipedia). Tell them that they should look it up for themselves; after all, you don't need references or proof, because you know better. You're an ATHEIST. (Oops. I mean, "Ur a ATHIEST".)

This debate has been very interesting but one point that got me was.... HOW do you know about 4chan? Surely that is literally the most ungodly site on the whole internet?

[Meek and Humble]

Re: How to be an Atheist

This debate has been very interesting but one point that got me was.... HOW do you know about 4chan? Surely that is literally the most ungodly site on the whole internet?

The Lord's work takes us into dark places sometimes.

[Sister Charli]

Re: How to be an Atheist

HOW do you know about 4chan? Surely that is literally the most ungodly site on the whole internet?

I have never been there personally. Daddy would revoke my interent usage if I did. Was bad enough me venturing (by accident) into the Men's only section of Landover last night. Is all good tho. The welts on my bottom will heal and it does mean that today I have spent more time on my knees praising God as that is far less painful than sitting or walking!

I sure as heck appreciate the Pastors and Elders going to these deviant sites tho and warning me against them. How else would I know to avoid them?

[eyeforaneye]

Re: How to be an Atheist

Oh, Christians... Mocking Atheists is probably one of the many things Jesus Christ would refuse to do. If you're followers of Christ, please tell me what are you doing here! The uncorrupted Christ I remember of wouldn't be online having pointless conversations over insulting another human. He would be helping poor people in his community and perhaps the world. He would have died on the Gaza strip, helping families and what not. He would have discussed peace with world leaders, no matter what! I'm an atheist myself, but you see, before I talk about something, I don't spit idle banter on a forum. You should be ashamed of that mock-guide, and I'm sure you have a one-way ticket to Hell by now. Oh wait, there is no Hell. You guys only want to believe in Christ just to keep your insignificant minds away from the thought that your body doesn't have a soul, and that love, hate, hope and despair are nothing more than chemicals running through our material body. Larvae and fungi will decompose you on your deathbed and there you will be safe, since there is no more pain, that pain you feel when you think deeply and say: What if there is no God? . We will see if there's a God. In the meantime, does it really matter if there is One? Or Two? Or Infinite? Live your lives, live what you know and live what you see. Don't live by a book. This goes to all misunderstood atheists being mocked by close-minded Christians...

[Nobar King]

Re: How to be an Atheist

The uncorrupted Christ I remember of wouldn't be online having pointless conversations over insulting another human.

Did you read about any forum members pretending to be Jesus? I didn't.

[ilovegodd]

Re: How to be an Atheist

Atheists are the most intelligent people I know

[eyeforaneye]

Re: How to be an Atheist

Did you read about any forum members pretending to be Jesus? I didn't.

Nope. Yet the Christian "lifestyle" includes following Christ's word. I'm sure Christ's word wasn't "insult others". Atleast that's what the Bible says.

[Lisa H]

Re: How to be an Atheist

Atheists are the most intelligent people I know

Then you must not know very much or do not know very many people..

[Lisa H]

Re: How to be an Atheist

Nope. Yet the Christian "lifestyle" includes following Christ's word. I'm sure Christ's word wasn't "insult others". Atleast that's what the Bible says.

From which part of the Bible does your reference come from.

[BelieverInGod]

Re: How to be an Atheist

Nope. Yet the Christian "lifestyle" includes following Christ's word. I'm sure Christ's word wasn't "insult others". Atleast that's what the Bible says.

Oh of course, and you wouldn't need to actually crack open a Bible to find out, now would you.

Jesus is impolite, deal with it.

Atheists are the most intelligent people I know

Well if the atheist trolls that infest this board like roaches are the most intelligent people you know, I suggest you crawl out of mommies basement for a while and meet some new people.