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  • LADIES! Never Take in a Vampire!

    I bring you THIS secular news report as a public service. We Pastors have warned you addle-headed females about being kind to strangers, giving money to hobos, loaning your make-up kits to goths, and getting your hair done by queers. We now I need to add one more danger to worry about: Don't take in homeless vampires, no matter how pathetic their story might be!

    Middleburg Woman Claims "Vampire" Assaulted Her

    MIDDLEBURG, FL -- A woman who claimed a self-proclaimed vampire sexually assaulted her wished investigators looked into her story a little longer.

    The woman wanted to remain anonymous, but we'll call her "Katelyn."

    She said she met Jeffery Mitchell eleven months ago near her home in Clay County.

    "Katelyn" said she felt sorry for Mitchell. She brought him food to his new home in the woods behind her house. Eventually she invited him in.

    "He started to force himself on me and I couldn't stop him," she said.

    This continued over the next month, even as she told him, 'no."

    "Katelyn" filed a report with the Clay County Sheriff's Office in February.

    Detectives took the case to the State Attorney's Office which declined to prosecute, citing inconsistent statements from the victim who initially called the encounters "an affair."

    "I understand but at the same time I was under mental distress," explained "Katelyn."

    Six months after she filed her report, the Jacksonville Sheriff's Office, the Virginia Beach Police Department and the U.S. Marshals Service started investigating Mitchell for molesting three children.

    "If they just investigated and said maybe this did happen even if inconsistencies in story, this wouldn't have happened if [they]investigated case instead of dropping it."


    During the abuse, authorities arrested Mitchell, or "Draven" as the self-proclaimed 225 year old vampire referred to himself, on drug charges.

    And "Katelyn" went to visit him in jail to find out when he'd be released.

    Other agencies are investigating Mitchell, but Clay County won't say which ones.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

  • #2
    Re: LADIES! Never Take in a Vampire!

    Good news, Pastor! Yes, it's the Good News too, but even further good news is that Brother Chick is already on the case!

    Funny, campy, over-the-top. This Halloween tract by Jack Chick starts with a vampire story, but ends with a straight gospel message.
    Posted via Prayer

    1 Timothy 2:13-15 For Adam was first formed, then Eve. And Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression. Notwithstanding she shall be saved in childbearing, if they continue in faith and charity and holiness with sobriety.
    Bearing my husband's heirs and being SAVED!

    Blogging for CHRIST!
    Witnessing for GOD on YouTube!
    All a-Twitter for Salvation!
    Bringing Jesus to MySpace!
    On FIRE for the Lord on Facebook!
    My Ladies of Landover profile!

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    • #3
      Re: LADIES! Never Take in a Vampire!

      Thank you for that post Pastor. Poor "Katelyn", she sounds like a true victim lead Astray by one of Satan's Minions. I'd just like to ad for the Ladies of Landover, that the same thing is true about Werewolves.

      MEDICINE HAT, Alta. - Two acquaintances of a man accused of murdering his pre-teen girlfriend's family say he professed to be a 300-year-old werewolf who liked the taste of blood.
      But Jeremy Allan Steinke's terminally ill mother says her son is not the man many think he is and has a good heart.
      Daniel Clark, 22, told the Calgary Herald he once saw Steinke wearing what he thought was a small vial of blood around his neck and heard him refer to himself as a "lycan" - short for lycanthrope, or werewolf.

      And I would think taking in a Mummy, a Frankentein, or a Zombie would be an equally bad idea.
      A Faithful Servant of the Lord sent by God to help Save The Future!

      Repent; or else I will come unto thee quickly, and will fight against them with the sword of my mouth. Revelation 2:16
      sigpic
      A MAN, A PLAN, A PLATFORM, A FORD TRUCK, SLEDGE!

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      • #4
        Re: LADIES! Never Take in a Vampire!

        Praise to Pastor Ezekiel and to Sister MM for their vigilance in reporting this somewhat rare but very real danger. GLORY to GOD for giving us the means to banish them!
        Mark 16:17 And these attesting signs will accompany those who believe: in My Name they will drive out demons.

        1 Kings 21:14 Then they sent to Jezebel, saying, Naboth is stoned . . .

        A SPIRITUAL WARFARE PRAYER:
        Father, In Jesus' Name, I take the Blood of Jesus and break the power of all witches, warlocks, wizards, satanists, sorcerers, wiccans, pagans, and any other source, and all of their rituals off of us. With the Blood of Jesus, I erase all evil lines drawn on our liver. . .

        LANDOVER BAPTIST DEMON HUNTING PERMIT #00666-27

        sigpic



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        • #5
          Re: LADIES! Never Take in a Vampire!

          Originally posted by Sledge Riprock View Post
          And I would think taking in a Mummy, a Frankentein, or a Zombie would be an equally bad idea.
          Or a Muslim.
          O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



          God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

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          • #6
            Re: LADIES! Never Take in a Vampire!



            "Vampire?" Is that Anne Rice?

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            • #7
              Re: LADIES! Never Take in a Vampire!

              It looks like Vince Neil to me. I wouldn't be surprised if he was a Vampire, too.
              May you be a blessing to every life you touch.

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