Ask Aunt Annie: Straighten Out That Husband

[Johny Joe Hold]

Aunt Annie does not always attend church. You can see why.

Dear Aunt Annie: I want to save my marriage. But it's getting difficult. My husband told me recently he has gay urges. He asked my permission to date men he is attracted to. But, he begged me not to leave him. He wants to be our children's daddy and my husband. Can you help me figure this out? Lost in Life

Dear Lost: Sure my dear. Look, he is a man and we women know how to deal with them. Men get jealous. And when they do you can make deals. Get yourself a sweetie. That's right, a girlfriend. When he sees you slipping into that orbit he will be so jealous you will have Mr. Straight back home again. All the best.
Aunt Annie

[WWJDnow]

Re: Ask Aunt Annie: Straighten Out That Husband

It was so much easier back in Biblical times when we could stone homosexual men to death and marry their widows off to their brothers (the homos' brothers, not the wive's brothers). That's why I'm so happy we're getting an unassailable majority of conservative justices on the court. It's time to bring Biblical morality back into the public sphere!

[Isabella White]

Re: Ask Aunt Annie: Straighten Out That Husband

Oh, how I thank you, dear Brother Mayor Hold, for this latest note from Sister Annie. I had called dear Annie earlier in the week to invite her to the Wednesday Afternoon McGill Street Ladies' Prayer Meeting, Bible Study and Tea & Social, but she was busy for that day.

My, this is such a sad situation for that poor woman; but, I know one thing that will most certainly straighten out Mrs. Lost's husband, and that is the straight-up, no-nonsense truth from the glorious :

Hebrews 4:12 "For the word of is quick, and powerful, and sharper than any twoedged sword, piercing even to the dividing asunder of soul and spirit, and of the joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart."

If that wayward husband thinks that he can cheat his way through a double life and not get caught, then he is forgetting that the sees all and remembers all:

Romans 14:12 "So then each of us shall give account of himself to ."

Now, then, in the case of this husband's sinful activity (especially in that it concerns having lustful longings with other men), all that is needed is to confront him with the -given truths which are so clearly contained within the Holy Word of Almighty:

Leviticus 18:22 "Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination."

Leviticus 20:13 "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."

Romans 1:32 "Who knowing the judgment of , that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them."

Well, I think that pretty much covers things as far as that husband's situation is concerned. The is full of facts, as given by self, and, if Mr. Nasty wants to engage in various, nefarious shenanigans, then he had better accept the fact that is watching him, and He will impose a very stiff penalty of the Day of Judgment:

Revelation 21:8 "But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death."

In other words, that poor wife's husband had better forsake his abominable sins, or face being broiled in , for all of eternity. Does he really think he will be able to find a way out from this never-ending horror?

[James Hutchins]

Re: Ask Aunt Annie: Straighten Out That Husband

Being gay is just like a opium addict. The first injection is free and once it (the shame) wears off, you think you are in the clear. Months later, you 'try it again'. Then again, then again.

Next thing you know you are full blown homosexual, kneeling not before God but some stranger covered in puss oozing sores, servicing his leather and sweat covered body, swallowing his turgid member and devouring dead babies in a vomit coated alley way behind a seedy bar..
Queers all think it is a big joke and a reason they have a parade. Trust me, the last laugh will be when admittance to Heaven is refused and your keister is kicked straight to Hell for an eternity of rectal rape by Demons with barbed talleywackers.
God gives you the opportunity to make choices. Make the smart one, just say no!
I think Aunt Anne needs to cut back on 'cutting the cloth with her scissors.'

[realDonaldTrump (Quarantined)]

Re: Ask Aunt Annie: Straighten Out That Husband

I have a question for Aunt ANNIE. The Bible says to ask God forgiveness, but what do you do if you've NEVER done anything wrong??? Just have a chat Among 2 Equals? I'd ask Zeke, but all of a sudden he's HARD-TO-REACH.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Ask Aunt Annie: Straighten Out That Husband

I have a question for Aunt ANNIE. The Bible says to ask God forgiveness, but what do you do if you've NEVER done anything wrong??? Just have a chat Among 2 Equals? I'd ask Zeke, but all of a sudden he's HARD-TO-REACH.

Dear Ex:

In your case forgiveness will not do you much good. But here's what will: KEEP YOUR PANTS ZIPPED UP!

If you have other questions I'm here to help.


Aunt Annie

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Ask Aunt Annie: Straighten Out That Husband

I have a question for Aunt ANNIE. The Bible says to ask God forgiveness, but what do you do if you've NEVER done anything wrong??? Just have a chat Among 2 Equals? I'd ask Zeke, but all of a sudden he's HARD-TO-REACH.

Forgive me, Mr. President, but you DID fail to steal the election from Biden, which surely counts as doing something wrong. Why, just look at George W. Bush. He lost the popular AND electoral vote to Al Gore fair and square. Did that stop him from becoming president? Hell no! And he never let stupid little un-Biblical laws like the Kyoto Protocol, the Bill of Rights, or the Nuremberg Principles get in the way of carrying out God's will. How can you carry out God's will with a senile Catholic socialist in the Oval Office?

[realDonaldTrump (Quarantined)]

Re: Ask Aunt Annie: Straighten Out That Husband

KEEP YOUR PANTS ZIPPED UP!

Why are women always telling Men to keep their pants Zipped? I wouldn't go into a Business Meeting with Jesus with my fly down. That isn't a POWER MOVE! I'd never let the Lord start with THAT kind of advantage.

Forgive me, Mr. President, but you DID fail to steal the election from Biden, which surely counts as doing something wrong.... How can you carry out God's will with a senile Catholic socialist in the Oval Office?

It's all part of my INGENIOUS Plan. After everyone gets Sick of Biden's far-left AOC agenda, they'll be BEGGING me to come back. And I Will, if the price is RIGHT! You'll see!