[MisterM]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

If this is the case, Jesus is a CREEPER

If your neighbor is in his garden watering the flowers and gardening and you will step in front of him and start to wank off, would you call him creeper or would you be pervert that law would punish?

Whole world is God's own garden and when you commit your pervert acts, you do them on purpose in front of God. That is why you'll be punished and you will burn in hell.

[Cursed]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

If this is the case, Jesus is a CREEPER

How dare you! You'll burn in Hell for that faggotry!

Ha ha I hope we both die tonight so I can watch you suffer! PLEASE LET IT BE TONIGHT, LORD!

[RagingLiberal]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

If this is the case, Jesus is a CREEPER

[Hammer of Justice]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

I used to be a chronic masturbator too, but then jesus came to me and told me to stop or i'd go to hell and burn under satan's ass for all eternity. That was when i stopped and devoted my life to christ. I feel as if i'm a whole new person. I no longer have dubious thoughts and it feels as if a ton of stones has just been lifted from my shoulders.

Masturbation can lead to all kinds of diseases too. God hates it, and you will go to hell if you do it.

I can tell you that praying to god gives a million times more pleasure than whacking off ever did.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

If you'd like to find out more about Landover Baptist Church, please read THIS thread created especially for new posters.

If you have a question, use the "search" function before posting it. Most likely it is being discussed somewhere on this Godly forum. Please don't waste God's precious bandwidth.

You will keep a respectful tongue in your head whenever addressing your betters, which includes all True Christians™. Failure to do so, or any attempt at inciting debate or mockery of God's Divine Plan, can and will result in the suspension of your posting privileges.

Your rights on this forum are listed HERE. If you feel that any of these rights have been violated, please don't hesitate to contact a Pastor at once.

[doc_haynes]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

I cannot believe I was given an infraction for my comment above.

I am new to Christianity and I have many questions, as there is much that I do not understand about Jesus and the Bible and God and all that stuff.
If I am going to get infractions every time I try to find a deeper understanding, then perhaps this is not the site for me.
Perhaps Christianity might even be the wrong religion for me.
I hope that is not the case, because I know I am a sinner and I would not want to go and burn in Hell. That does not sound pleasant at all.
However, if I am going to be chastised for asking simple and honest questions, then what other alternative do I have?

In my comment above, I did not use any profanity, nor did I attack anyone. I do have the sinking feeling that I was attacked though, with the "squinting" and "squirming" replies. But I am willing to give the benefit of the doubt, that maybe I just misunderstood the replies. Even if they were attacks, I am willing to forgive, because that is something that I have learned is a big thing in Christianity. My apologies if my innocent questions were taken the wrong way, but I do feel that the infraction was unjust and without merit.

[doc_haynes]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Squirming.

When you say squirming,
do you mean it like he is feeling sickened and his stomach is crawling?
Or do you mean like when someone sees something, that turns them on and they get that squirming feeling down there below their stomach?
Hoping to clarify your meaning.

[doc_haynes]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Dear Friend,



Squinting.

Yours in Him,
BAB

LOL Too funny!
So are you saying,
that God can make a penis so small
that Jesus can't see it?

[rocknroll]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Being a bit of an exhibitionist, I really don't mind him watching.
I just wonder what he is doing while he is watching me?

Squirming.

[Born Again Bob]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Dear Friend,

Being a bit of an exhibitionist, I really don't mind him watching.
I just wonder what he is doing while he is watching me?

Squinting.

Yours in Him,
BAB

[doc_haynes]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Being a bit of an exhibitionist, I really don't mind him watching.
I just wonder what he is doing while he is watching me?

[rocknroll]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

The technical term for it is nocturnal emission.

[Born Again Bob]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Dear Friend,

Just so you know, every guy does it whether consciously or unconsciously, if he hasn't seen action for about a month.

Not me! Click on the scissors by my name.

You have a choice, too!

Yours in Him,
BAB

[Jay84722]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

Oops, followed a link, and didn't notice the dates - ^ but yes it was something like that.

[rocknroll]

Re: Jesus is watching you masturbate

It's pretty obvious. He is a Christian who wanted to look-up if doing it was okay.

Just so you know, every guy does it whether consciously or unconsciously, if he hasn't seen action for about a month.

I like to believe that God looks away or does something else when I am doing it with a girl or m*st*rb*t*ng.