Help with my addiction

[ReligionessKolt]

Dear friends,

I have been relieved upon finding your post on the Jar Jar Binks doll! I thought I was alone in my problem, but now I can see how the devil has made this vice for me as a challenge to my holy allegiance to God, Almighty!
At first, I noticed the profanity removed eyes of the beast, and something struck me about them. It wasn't long before my profanity removed were profanity removed and I was thrusting the beast's eyes in and out of myprofanity removed profanity removed, harder and harder until the room began to spin and I found myself calling out, "Oh, Lord, what have I done! Save me from my horrible urges to profanity removed myself with this starwars life-sized action figure before my profanity removed life profanity removed comes home to find me and use the other eye for her pleasure as we massage eachothers' profanity removed and rub our profanity removed together! Please find a way to dictate every aspect of my life as I use an unfalsifiable book to justify my hatred and bigotry towards other perpetuating institutional hate, racism, and intolerance! Help me to instead become a radical cult member of the baptist church!"

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Help with my addiction

Friend, why don't you tell us about yourself first. How old are you? What Godless land do you hail from? When was the last time you attended chruch, and what denomination was it?

Have you ever talked to Jesus?

[Brother Temperance]

Re: Help with my addiction

Dear friends,

I have been relieved upon finding your post on the Jar Jar Binks doll! I thought I was alone in my problem, but now I can see how the devil has made this vice for me as a challenge to my holy allegiance to God, Almighty!
At first, I noticed the profanity removed eyes of the beast, and something struck me about them. It wasn't long before my profanity removed were profanity removed and I was thrusting the beast's eyes in and out of myprofanity removed profanity removed, harder and harder until the room began to spin and I found myself calling out, "Oh, Lord, what have I done! Save me from my horrible urges to profanity removed myself with this starwars life-sized action figure before my profanity removed life profanity removed comes home to find me and use the other eye for her pleasure as we massage eachothers' profanity removed and rub our profanity removed together! Please find a way to dictate every aspect of my life as I use an unfalsifiable book to justify my hatred and bigotry towards other perpetuating institutional hate, racism, and intolerance! Help me to instead become a radical cult member of the baptist church!"

Friend, there was no need for that kind of saucy language. You might not know much about lady-like behaviour, but here in God's house we like to keep things clean. Now, would you like to explain what you mean by "us[ing] an unfalsifiable book to justify my hatred and bigotry towards other perpetuating institutional hate, racism, and intolerance!" To me, that sentence looks like a horrible abuse of Jesus' American English. The Bible is unfalsifiable because there is nothing false in it, and that is a genuine Christian Fact.