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  • Vavoline Johnson
    Mammy
    Forum Member
    • Apr 2009
    • 960
    #1

    I thinks I is Losin My Religion!

    Lawd hab Mercy!
    Jist when I thinks I have got Jeezus close to my heart, I git sent a picture of a skinny lil negro kid wif no clothes on. It done tell me all the lil chilren in Africa are jist starvin and nekked! How come da Lawd ain't been takin care of dose kids?
    I was a tellin Mr Pasta Zeekil bout dis and how all Miz Beulah Mae did was ask Jeezus for a lottery win. Lawd as my witness she won hersef $75!
    Now, please splain why Jeezus is so damned selective with his special gifts?
    Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy
    Tags: None
    • Bob4God
      Moderator
      Arms Dealer for CHRIST
      Hands folded for Jesus
       
      • Apr 2008
      • 5274
      #2
      Re: I thinks I is Losin My Religion!

      Ms. Vavoline, I'm surprised at your lack of faith in the Good LORD!

      Have you learned nothing from the Life of Job?

      You ought to be grateful that JESUS even allows you to suckle off of the tax dollars of hard working Americans such as myself!
      sigpic
      The eyes of the LORD are in every place, beholding the evil and the good.
      - Proverbs 15:3

      CHILDREN'S STORY: TIMMY ON TRIAL


      CHRISTIAN ADVICE AND MESSAGES OF HOPE! GOD'S GREATEST HITS!


        Comment

        • Talitha
          Deaconess
          Gracious, genteel, kind, tender, and warm True Christian™ Sister
          True Christian™
          • Jul 2026
          • 15118
          #3
          Re: I thinks I is Losin My Religion!

          Originally posted by Vavoline Johnson View Post
          Lawd hab Mercy!
          Jist when I thinks I have got Jeezus close to my heart, I git sent a picture of a skinny lil negro kid wif no clothes on. It done tell me all the lil chilren in Africa are jist starvin and nekked! How come da Lawd ain't been takin care of dose kids?
          I was a tellin Mr Pasta Zeekil bout dis and how all Miz Beulah Mae did was ask Jeezus for a lottery win. Lawd as my witness she won hersef $75!
          Now, please splain why Jeezus is so damned selective with his special gifts?
          It's quite simple Miss Vavoline.
          They haven't been Saved like you have.
          Your ancestors were lucky enough to end up in Gods America complete with employment.
          Tell us where those little starving negro kids are and we'll help them.
          We have a good few hundred spare slightly used King James Bible's to send.
          I'm sure the Lord will provide once they've read the Good Book several times over

          Sister Talitha

          Markswoman, Circumcisionist, Platinum Tither.


          HE took the damsel by the hand, and said unto her, Talitha Cumi; which is,
          being interpreted, Damsel, I say unto thee, arise!...Mark 5:41


            Comment

            • Jimmy C Lombardo
              Forum Member
              Forum Member
              • Mar 2009
              • 218
              #4
              Re: I thinks I is Losin My Religion!

              Curse of Ham, ma'am.

                Comment

                • Vavoline Johnson
                  Mammy
                  Forum Member
                  • Apr 2009
                  • 960
                  #5
                  Re: I thinks I is Losin My Religion!

                  Why, thanky all!
                  I was a hopin dat Miz Madonna or Miz Angelina Jolie would buy up all them poor hungry kids but I knows the next best thing would be for the Landober Church to send those chilen the Holy Bible of our Masta Jeezus his self!

                  Prasie da Lawd!
                  Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78556
                      #6
                      Re: I thinks I is Losin My Religion!

                      We'll be expecting that $75 in the collection plate this Sunday. What a nice Mother's Day gift to Jesus!
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        • Vavoline Johnson
                          Mammy
                          Forum Member
                          • Apr 2009
                          • 960
                          #7
                          Re: I thinks I is Losin My Religion!

                          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                          We'll be expecting that $75 in the collection plate this Sunday. What a nice Mother's Day gift to Jesus!

                          As soon as Ole Samule gits his disability check, it will be on it's way, Pasta Zeek
                          Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy

                            Comment

                            • SUV
                              True Christian™ Princess
                              The Driving Force behind RA12
                              Have at it, anytime!
                              • Sep 2006
                              • 11027
                              #8
                              Re: I thinks I is Losin My Religion!

                              "Losin My Religion"?

                              Great GOD, dusky Sister, you've got to stop listening to that sinful R.E.M. rock group, Raging Egenst (the) Machine!

                                Comment

                                • Nurse Clampett
                                  Jesus's Favorite Nurse
                                  Forum Member
                                  • Jan 2009
                                  • 974
                                  #9
                                  Re: I thinks I is Losin My Religion!

                                  Originally posted by SUV View Post
                                  "Losin My Religion"?

                                  Great GOD, dusky Sister, you've got to stop listening to that sinful R.E.M. rock group, Raging Egenst (the) Machine!
                                  AKA:
                                  REAR END MEN!
                                  Luke 5:31
                                  And Jesus answering said unto them, They that are whole need not a physician; but they that are sick

                                    Comment

                                    • Brother Temperance
                                      Senior Usher
                                      True Christian™ missionary to the Unsaved Kingdom
                                      A very nice young man
                                      True Christian™
                                      • Sep 2006
                                      • 15621
                                      #10
                                      Re: I thinks I is Losin My Religion!

                                      Originally posted by Random Man
                                      Penis
                                      The entirety of secularist "thought" summed up in a single disgraceful post. Are you Sam Harris, by any chance?
                                      O Lord our God, help us to tear their soldiers to bloody shreds with our shells; help us to cover their smiling fields with the pale forms of their patriot dead; help us to drown the thunder of the guns with the shrieks of their wounded, writhing in pain; help us to lay waste their humble homes with a hurricane of fire; help us to wring the hearts of their unoffending widows with unavailing grief; help us to turn them out roofless with little children to wander unfriended the wastes of their desolated land in rags and hunger and thirst, sports of the sun flames of summer and the icy winds of winter, broken in spirit, worn with travail, imploring Thee for the refuge of the grave and denied it--for our sakes who adore Thee, Lord, blast their hopes, blight their lives, protract their bitter pilgrimage, make heavy their steps, water their way with their tears, stain the white snow with the blood of their wounded feet! We ask it, in the spirit of love, of Him Who is the Source of Love, and Who is the ever-faithful refuge and friend of all that are sore beset and seek His aid with humble and contrite hearts. Amen.



                                      God being truth, justice, goodness, beauty, power, and life, man is falsehood, iniquity, evil, ugliness, impotence, and death. God being master, man is the slave. Incapable of finding justice, truth, and eternal life by his own effort, he can attain them only through a divine revelation... he who desires to worship God must harbor no childish illusions about the matter, but bravely renounce his liberty and humanity.

                                        Comment

                                        • Vavoline Johnson
                                          Mammy
                                          Forum Member
                                          • Apr 2009
                                          • 960
                                          #11
                                          Re: I thinks I is Losin My Religion!

                                          Originally posted by Random Man
                                          Penis
                                          Lawd hab mercy!
                                          Ayes come here to helps the hungry kids wif prayer and Ayes gets mocked! Who let dem come to the Lanober in the first place, Pasta?
                                          I dont need no infractions cause of the riff raff who come dis way!
                                          Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy

                                            Comment

                                            • HatePeace
                                              Unsaved trash
                                              • May 2009
                                              • 47
                                              #12
                                              Re: I thinks I is Losin My Religion!

                                              I agree, ma'am. Kick this commie off!

                                                Comment

                                                • Brother Turdis
                                                  Unsaved trash
                                                  Under Investigation
                                                  • May 2009
                                                  • 5
                                                  #13
                                                  Re: I thinks I is Losin My Religion!

                                                  Losing Religion?

                                                  GOOD!

                                                  The world is better off without it in my opinion :

                                                    Comment

                                                    • Vavoline Johnson
                                                      Mammy
                                                      Forum Member
                                                      • Apr 2009
                                                      • 960
                                                      #14
                                                      Re: I thinks I is Losin My Religion!

                                                      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                                      We'll be expecting that $75 in the collection plate this Sunday. What a nice Mother's Day gift to Jesus!
                                                      Sorry Pasta, you ain't gettin it! She goes herself over to the AME Negro church...
                                                      Everybodys Blested Ole Mammy

                                                        Comment

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