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  • Improve Your Mental Health. Join Landover Baptist

    I confess I shouted out loud, "PRAISE JESUS," when I read the report from Fox News that religious people have fewer suicides than the nonreligious. We here at Landover Baptist have been preaching for years that happiness, a secure future in heaven, can be found at this, and only at this, church.

    This revelation that True Christians(TM) are happier could not have come at a better time. Suicides in the U.S. have been rising. Some liberal states even let doctors assist people in taking their own lives. We need the Biden Administration's Health Department to declare LBC as a force to achieve better mental health across the U.S. That would give us the opportunity to evaluate and pass judgment on millions of people who are now unhappy.

    Our message at Landover Baptist is, "Get happy. Join Landover."

    Faith and religion promote strong mental health so why, pray tell, do atheists run the industry? | Fox News
    Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

  • #2
    Glory! On the other hand, Joe Biden needs to do more to get Ivermectin to those who need it. Non-vaxxers have been dying off quicker than the atheists can kill themselves - probably because they don't have a gun. Ivermectin and guns would level the playing field so they don't steal the next election by having more voters.
    If I have seen further, it is by standing on the heads of others.

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    • #3
      This is just God increasing the number of religious people by killing unbelievers.

      As soon as Trump wins the elections for the 3rd time he can implement Biblical law allowing the righteous stoning of all gays, Disney+ members and unbelievers.

      Leviticus 20:13 "If a man also lie with mankind, as he lieth with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination: they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them."

      Originally posted by Johny Joe Hold View Post
      Get happy. Join Landover.​
      How about "Don't want to burn in Hell? Join Landover!" ?
      5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
      To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
      James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."

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      • #4
        Originally posted by Cranky Old Man View Post
        How about "Don't want to burn in Hell? Join Landover!" ?
        I would be happy to avoid burning forever and ever. One would have to be insane to want to go to Hell. This is simply more proof atheists, Muslims, Jews, dentists, scientists, and single women of child bearing age are all insane.
        Hello, my name is Mary. I hope to fellowship with you! That is, unless you don't listen to church authority (Deuteronomy 17:12); are a witch (Exodus 22:17); are a homosexual (Leviticus 20:13; Romans 1:24-32); or fortuneteller (Leviticus 20:27) or a snotty kid who hits their dad (Exodus 21:15); or curses their parents (Proverbs 20:20; Leviticus 20:9); an adulterer (Leviticus 20:10); a non-Christian (Exodus 22:19; Deuteronomy 13:7-12; Deuteronomy 17:2-5;Romans 1:24-32); an atheist (2 Chronicles 15:12-13); or false prophet (Zechariah 13:3); from the town of one who worships another, false god (Deuteronomy 13:13-19); were a non-virgin bride (Deuteronomy 22:20-21); or blasphemer (Leviticus 24:10-16), as God calls for your execution and will no doubt send you to Hell, and I have no interest developing a friendship with the Spiritually Walking Dead.

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        • #5
          Originally posted by Mary Etheldreda View Post

          I would be happy to avoid burning forever and ever. One would have to be insane to want to go to Hell. This is simply more proof atheists, Muslims, Jews, dentists, scientists, and single women of child bearing age are all insane.
          Oh, yes; this is quite true, dear Sister Mary. How many crackpot scientists have we heard from,with their fake explanations? And, all because they like to take credit from the Glory of Almighty and Creation! Why, I can think of one scientific "expert", in particular, who so assuredly deserves to spend all of eternity (and then some!) in — and may that day happen soon; dear , I pray!



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          (Mrs.) Isabella White

          Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the Blood of Jesus"

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          • #6
            There is also Catholicism, which can cure all mental illnessess by praying with the rosary beads.

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            • #7
              Originally posted by Romeo Rovagnati View Post
              There is also Catholicism, which can cure all mental illnessess by praying with the rosary beads.
              PLAYING with rosary beads, or beads from the Dollar Store, may well cheer someone up. Praying with either, not a chance.

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              Isaiah 24:1-3 Behold, the LORD maketh the earth empty (2)...as the taker of usury, so with the giver of usury to him. (3) The land shall be utterly emptied, and utterly spoiled: for the LORD hath spoken his word.

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              • #8
                Originally posted by Romeo Rovagnati View Post
                There is also Catholicism, which can cure all mental illnessess by praying with the rosary beads.
                Oh, no you don't, Mr. Rovagnati — not today, Satan! It is proven that using those Cathyolick rosary beads voodoo is the CAUSE of mental illness!! You will see the effect below, so kindly refrain from posting such evil mumbo-jumbo on . In the Name of , I pray!



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                Last edited by Isabella White; 05-15-2024, 12:42 PM.
                (Mrs.) Isabella White

                Hebrews 10:19 "Having therefore, brethren, boldness to enter into the holiest by the Blood of Jesus"

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