A Trump Recession? Not in Freehold

[Johny Joe Hold]

There are all kinds of talks about a recession and how Trump's tariffs will be the cause. Landover Baptist and its host city of Freehold beg to differ. We will remain prosperous on matter what. In fact, we will lead the country out of any recession liberals might cause. We will prosper because Jesus takes care of us.

Other places could do as well as Freehold if only they stopped their sin. Mark my word, the recession will bury the most sinful places in the U.S. God will see to that. Right now, God has let it be known California and New York will be hit. These two states have huge population losses. Their people know what God has in store.

I wish we in Freehold could accommodate those leaving other states. We do not welcome atheists nor certain races nor biracial. Mayflower moving trucks are not allowed to enter.

[Dr. Anthony J. Toole]

Mr. Mayor, inspired by your ambition I have SLASHED the hourly rate of my chiropractor/masseur contract laborers to donate instead to the Freehold Beacon of Hope Mayoral charitable offshore discretionary fund. We hope you will use the money wisely to crush local dissenters - even the merest scent of one can cause an uprising. We need to be tough on law and order too.

[Johny Joe Hold]

Mr. Mayor, inspired by your ambition I have SLASHED the hourly rate of my chiropractor/masseur contract laborers to donate instead to the Freehold Beacon of Hope Mayoral charitable offshore discretionary fund. We hope you will use the money wisely to crush local dissenters - even the merest scent of one can cause an uprising. We need to be tough on law and order too.

Thank you, Dr. Toole. I hope those under your employ understand it is a time for sacrifice to Make America Great Again. What deep trouble we would be in today if Biden's girlfriend, Kamala Harris, had been elected President. Now our country is at the top of its game, making adjustments and soon will be on our way up.

As to the Freehold Beacon of Hope Mayoral Charitable Offshore Discretionary Fund I can only share what Pastor Zeke has authorized. It is that areas of Ukraine now controlled by Russia will be goldmines of profit after the war. Putin has assured us of excellent returns.