I'm having some marriage issues

[Christiansoldier]

My wife just isn't the same since I met her 5 (or was it 7? I forgot) years at an anti-homersexual marriage rally. Here are all of our problems. I won't say her name for her safety.

1) She hates that I keep going on duty and leave her alone at the house. I explain I'm doing God's work by shooting up some mooslims, but she ignores that and says I'm racist.

2) She refuses to make pies now. She said she wont make pies for a bigot control-freak.

3) She became a vegetarian. This is one of the worst things ANYONE can do.

4) She now says that Obama (AKA Osama) "isn't as bad as I make him out to be." This was the final straw.

I have already beate....err...i mean disciplined her many times but it isn't working. First I need to find an effective way to discipline her, then find the influence that has been driving her to turn into LIEbral scum.

And if that doesn't work....then I think its time for her to hit the dusty trail .

So I thought I would ask here for advice, seeing as you guys give very good advice as well as religious advice. So then, from a religious standpoint, what should I do?

[James Hutchins]

Re: I'm having some marriage issues

Sounds to me like she got infected by femnazi lezbo-ism.

Have her go out into the field to work with the combine. Or, have her check on the hired help that live in the chicken coop some Saturday night around 11

[Christiansoldier]

Re: I'm having some marriage issues

Sounds to me like she got infected by femnazi lezbo-ism.

Have her go out into the field to work with the combine. Or, have her check on the hired help that live in the chicken coop some Saturday night around 11

I was afraid it came to that. I have already put her to work in many places, but she doesn't learn.

And just yesterday, I caught her trying to leave the house! Good thing one of my slav....servants caught her for me.

Does landover allow for divorce? I don't want her raising our Christian Soldiers with this attitude.

[Jenni111]

Re: I'm having some marriage issues

Sounds like she's been watching too much Television and talking to too many feminists while you were on duty.

[Christiansoldier]

Re: I'm having some marriage issues

Sounds like she's been watching too much Television and talking to too many feminists while you were on duty.

I told my servants to look after her (by that I mean keeping a leash on her), but I think the mesican thought I was joking or something. That or he didn't know English.

I might just have to leave the military. Besides, all things went wrong there once they allowed homers and LIEbrals in.

[James Hutchins]

Re: I'm having some marriage issues

I was afraid it came to that. I have already put her to work in many places, but she doesn't learn.

And just yesterday, I caught her trying to leave the house! Good thing one of my slav....servants caught her for me.

Does landover allow for divorce? I don't want her raising our Christian Soldiers with this attitude.

Not a single True Christian has ever divorced. Some have become widowers due to accidents such as getting caught in Combines, wood chippers, Falling down wells or mine shafts, falling off bridges or tall buildings, down steep stairs, out of bed, firearm accidents, electrocution by a toaster in the bathtub, falling in front of a speeding truck on the interstate, falling out of a truck on the interstate. The list is endless. Some even just run off to be a lezbo in mexico.

[Christiansoldier]

Re: I'm having some marriage issues

Not a single True Christian has ever divorced. Some have become widowers due to accidents such as getting caught in Combines, wood chippers, Falling down wells or mine shafts, falling off bridges or tall buildings, down steep stairs, out of bed, firearm accidents, electrocution by a toaster in the bathtub, falling in front of a speeding truck on the interstate, falling out of a truck on the interstate. The list is endless. Some even just run off to be a lezbo in mexico.

I thought Portway said he had been divorced a couple times?

Regardless, I'm gonna go sabotag.....err....I mean fix the car incase she tries to escape again .



Off topic quesion: how do you cross words out?

[James Hutchins]

Re: I'm having some marriage issues

I though Portway said he had been divorced a couple times?

Regardless, I'm gonna go sabotag.....err....I mean fix the car incase she tries to escape again .



Off topic quesion: how do you cross words out?

He might of been before he found Jesus, I do not know the details of his sordid history.

You are a good husband to offer to fix her brakes. Word of advice, be sure to do a 'factory quality' job.

I use the strike through key though I find it easier to just use the backspace key.

[Jenni111]

Re: I'm having some marriage issues

Off topic quesion: how do you cross words out?

Here is a link to the BB codes:

http://landoverbaptist.net/misc.php?do=bbcode

As for crossing out words use this: [s]

[Professor Tyeisha X]

Re: I'm having some marriage issues

Sounds like your wife has wisened up and is rebelling against the patriarchal shackles you've chained her up with!

My wife just isn't the same since I met her 5 (or was it 7? I forgot) years at an anti-homersexual marriage rally. Here are all of our problems. I won't say her name for her safety.

1) She hates that I keep going on duty and leave her alone at the house. I explain I'm doing God's work by shooting up some mooslims, but she ignores that and says I'm racist.

The Iraq War is a racist, imperialistic war. You should be ashamed of yourself for complying with Bush's genocide plans.

2) She refuses to make pies now. She said she wont make pies for a bigot control-freak.

Good for her! If you want a pie, make it yourself!

3) She became a vegetarian. This is one of the worst things ANYONE can do.

I am a vegan, too. What is wrong with her developing a conscience? It's okay to murder innocent animals to devour them? Are you a caveman?

4) She now says that Obama (AKA Osama) "isn't as bad as I make him out to be." This was the final straw.

Barack Obama, while a bit too conservative for my tastes, is the greatest American President ever. Everything he is doing is amazingly wonderful. The man simply cannot make a mistake.

I have already beate....err...i mean disciplined her many times but it isn't working. First I need to find an effective way to discipline her, then find the influence that has been driving her to turn into LIEbral scum.

And if that doesn't work....then I think its time for her to hit the dusty trail .

So I thought I would ask here for advice, seeing as you guys give very good advice as well as religious advice. So then, from a religious standpoint, what should I do?

I believe that water seeks its own level. Your wife should leave you and find an intellectual lesbian who can help her on her road to self-empowerment and liberation. You on the other hand are probably better off, single, and spanking it to internet porn.

Glad to be of help! <---racist smiley, should be brown-skinned.

[Christiansoldier]

Re: I'm having some marriage issues

Sounds like your wife has wisened up and is rebelling against the patriarchal shackles you've chained her up with

The Iraq War is a racist, imperialistic war. You should be ashamed of yourself for complying with Bush's genocide plans.


Good for her! If you want a pie, make it yourself!



I am a vegan, too. What is wrong with her developing a conscience? It's okay to murder innocent animals to devour them? Are you a caveman?



Barack Obama, while a bit too conservative for my tastes, is the greatest American President ever. Everything he is doing is amazingly wonderful. The man simply cannot make a mistake.



I believe that water seeks its own level. Your wife should leave you and find an intellectual lesbian who can help her on her road to self-empowerment and liberation. You on the other hand are probably better off, single, and spanking it to internet porn.

Glad to be of help! <---racist smiley, should be brown-skinned.

Why are you allowed on these forums? I see people with only half the stupidity you have get banned.

[James Hutchins]

Re: I'm having some marriage issues

The last bit of advice I can offer is the simplest is the best. A friend of mines wife dies but he wanted to go on a hunting trip and a funeral would of ruined his plans. Being the meat freezer was empty, he placed his beloved wife in the freezer to 'keep'. A month later when he got back, he took her out and filled the freezer with his bounty. For some reason, when the coroner checked the body, he gave a time and date of death while my pal was away hunting. Go figure, you know?

[Christiansoldier]

Re: I'm having some marriage issues

The last bit of advice I can offer is the simplest is the best. A friend of mines wife dies but he wanted to go on a hunting trip and a funeral would of ruined his plans. Being the meat freezer was empty, he placed his beloved wife in the freezer to 'keep'. A month later when he got back, he took her out and filled the freezer with his bounty. For some reason, when the coroner checked the body, he gave a time and date of death while my pal was away hunting. Go figure, you know?

Very interesting story, I'll keep it in mind.

Wait...I'm not a True Christian yet am I? So can I divorce this girl, get a new one, and then become saved?

[James Hutchins]

Re: I'm having some marriage issues

Very interesting story, I'll keep it in mind.

Wait...I'm not a True Christian yet am I? So can I divorce this girl, get a new one, and then become saved?

That is expensive....... Unless you have a great joo lawyer or real damning evidence.

[Christiansoldier]

Re: I'm having some marriage issues

That is expensive....... Unless you have a great joo lawyer or real damning evidence.

I always have a lawyer for times like these. I already called them to start a case.

If everything goes as planned, I'll be single again in a couple weeks .