I'm Carlton's little old mother, and my boy is missin'!

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Dear Landover,

This is Mrs. Agnes Kelly Green, and my boy Carlton had given me his password in case of emergency. He didn't give it too his pa however, because he has gone to heavens already. Last night, I was gettin' a call from his missus, beseechin' with tears! She said that her, good ol' Christian hubby was a missin'! She said also that he discovered a homersectual bar just a down a streets! Outraged, he tore down the streets with his Good ol' HOLY BIBLE KJV 1611, ready to give dem faggots a peice of der mind! No, stinkin' fags were gunna stink up this Christian town! But then she saids that he never returned back last nights!!!! To think that those dirty Hell stinkin' fags probably spat in JESUS's holy face and killed my boy with sodomies! No Christian should EVER have to endure such a things! Specially since he wus tryings to help them to GLORY from their depraved selves! But now, the question is.....where is my boy!?

I don't have the hearts to go to that God-forsakin' place and neider do the missus of his! Help, good Landover, what should a little ol' Christian lady like me do!?

-Mrs. A. K. Green.

[Deaner]

Re: I'm Carlton's little old mother, and my boy is missin'!

I don't have the hearts to go to that God-forsakin' place and neider do the missus of his! Help, good Landover, what should a little ol' Christian lady like me do!?

Not to worry Mrs. Green, Carlton was a good man and a seeker of Christ. The photo below shows several Landover volunteers preparing to search the homosexual community. I'm sorry to ask this but I have to...was Carlton exhibiting any strange behaviour lately? Does he throw a baseball funny? Have you ever seen him cry and when you asked him why he said it was because he was happy? Does he watch gardening shows?

[SUV]

Re: I'm Carlton's little old mother, and my boy is missin'!

Dear Landover,

This is Mrs. Agnes Kelly Green, and my boy Carlton had given me his password in case of emergency.... Last night, I was gettin' a call from his missus

His "missus" His......MRS.!!!!! ???

Why, that floor-flusher! I had come to understand that we were engaged to be Married, in the sight of God and the Entire Congregation (particularly those heethen "women" Lilith and Hellsinker (that one that tries to imitate me with that paste Tiara). I just know they'd both be peeking in the windows to see this, the TrueJoy of ChristianMarriage™

Now I Fear all plans are off; not because Mr. Green Meanie apparently already has a Wife, but because he cannot be a True True Christian Man to be playing so fast & loose with The Ladies!

I am so destroyed. JESUS the CHRIST I have such a Headache now - now that I won't even need it!!!

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: I'm Carlton's little old mother, and my boy is missin'!

Dear Landover,

Well, I'm back!


But not after laying waste to 3O HOMERSECTUALS! I just to to disintigrate any concern, but annoncing my glorious and GODLY endeavor. When them homos refused to accept Christ into their hearts, they tried to force their unGodly talywhackers upon me, but not one could touch because I brough a GODLY CO2 Uzi Semi Automatic Machine Gun to fire the Lord's will into their hearts, brains, liver, and intestines.


Sue Vera must of been through a tizzy after reading what my ma wrote! She thinks that that any lady on her phone must be my wife. I believe it was my sister who had phoned in my absence because she was expecting me to pick up some of her homemade dungcake to deliver to the needy. Of course I never came because after doing the Lord's work, the stench of rotting homos was so unbearable, I passed out. Mother, simply though we were already married because being old, she forgets a thing or too(Except anything in the Holy Bible). But to call off a HOLY CELEBRATION Sue?? Have ye little faith in a TRUE CHRISTIANTM MAN!?

Perhaps I should start being a little forceful with you to show that I care.

-Rev. C. T. Green

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: I'm Carlton's little old mother, and my boy is missin'!

Dear Landover,

Well, I'm back!


But not after laying waste to 3O HOMERSECTUALS! I just to to disintigrate any concern, but annoncing my glorious and GODLY endeavor. When them homos refused to accept Christ into their hearts, they tried to force their unGodly talywhackers upon me, but not one could touch because I brough a GODLY CO2 Uzi Semi Automatic Machine Gun to fire the Lord's will into their hearts, brains, liver, and intestines.

Are you sure that's what happened, dear? Because I did hear about a man in your area who overdosed on cough drops, started to hallucinate, then put on his mother's clothes and ran around in circles with a baseball bat swinging at the air whilst yelling 'bang bang, homer!! Bang bang!!!'
That does sound....awfully like what might have happened to you.

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: I'm Carlton's little old mother, and my boy is missin'!

You must be the most thin-brained, confused harlot I ever known? Wouldn't you know by now that I would certainly not wish to live in your ugly part of the neighbourhood? I'm a staunch supporter of segregation.

[SUV]

Re: I'm Carlton's little old mother, and my boy is missin'!

But to call off a HOLY CELEBRATION Sue?? Have ye little faith in a TRUE CHRISTIANTM MAN!?

-Rev. C. T. Green

Oh God, YES! Soon as I read this, my Headache came back - instantaneously!

PS Reverend, you have removed the stench of those Homer!sexys by now?

[Rachael Van Helsing]

Re: I'm Carlton's little old mother, and my boy is missin'!

You must be the most thin-brained, confused harlot I ever known? Wouldn't you know by now that I would certainly not wish to live in your ugly part of the neighbourhood? I'm a staunch supporter of segregation.

You most likely live far away from me, thank the Gods.
But, that doesn't mean that I don't hear about things that happen in your neck of the woods....

[Rev. Carlton Green]

Re: I'm Carlton's little old mother, and my boy is missin'!

Oh God, YES! Soon as I read this, my Headache came back - instantaneously!

PS Reverend, you have removed the stench of those Homer!sexys by now?

I have already bathed 30 times in row now. Once for each dead homer. I've also prayed to the Lord to clean me of any misguided talywhacker that might of tarnished my suit which now must be burned and sent to the Mexican garbage dump.