That certain Christmas Gift for that certain Pastor

[SUV]

Since the Man I need to get a Christmas Gift for is so very Special - and such a highly-placed Pastor, here - I figured that nothing I could buy for him would quite make the grade - so instead I was going to fix him a nice catfish dinner with my Good potatis salad.

But I just found out that he - and the Holy Bible! - think that catfish are an Abomination. So who needs this to spoil my Christmas:

Any other ideas?

SUV

[Brother V]

Re: That certain Christmas Gift for that certain Pastor

Since the Man I need to get a Christmas Gift for is so very Special - and such a highly-placed Pastor, here - I figured that nothing I could buy for him would quite make the grade - so instead I was going to fix him a nice catfish dinner with my Good potatis salad.

But I just found out that he - and the Holy Bible! - think that catfish are an Abomination. So who needs this to spoil my Christmas:

Any other ideas?

SUV

blue gill... or "brim"

lots and lots of bluegill.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: That certain Christmas Gift for that certain Pastor

blue gill... or "brim"
lots and lots of bluegill.

I can't eat that crap, it's all bony like perch.

Sue Vera, just don't tell me what kind of fish it is. Or tell me it's imported Barramundi (the best fish I have EVER tasted).

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: That certain Christmas Gift for that certain Pastor

Any other ideas?

SUV

I was going to suggest a nice hearty meal of pot roast and potatoes. What man wouldn't LOVE that?

[SUV]

Re: That certain Christmas Gift for that certain Pastor

JESUS! Who squealed to Pastor Al that it was for him?!

All Right then, Pastor, maybe I can find a better way to prepare that stuff Brother V has. Shame to waste it. You tweezle out the bones and put a little lemon on anything, and there you have yourself a nice gourmet Meal.

If you still don't feel too Religious over this, how about those "Cat Tamales" Brother Ezekiel posted the recipe for? Cats are Sinful and we'd be doing Christiandom a favor by thinning down the housecat Population.

I'd try to find one without fleas

SUV

[SUV]

Re: That certain Christmas Gift for that certain Pastor

Nice thought, Sister Thumper, but I'm Afraid it would look too much like Lilith's flapping tongue and it would only make him ill:

http://www.landoverbaptist.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=123&stc=1&d=1159994691

I was going to suggest a nice hearty meal of pot roast and potatoes. What man wouldn't LOVE that?

[Daisy Mae Johnson]

Re: That certain Christmas Gift for that certain Pastor

Then how about a delicious dinner of Spotted Owl.

I have written out the recipe for you:

Spotted Owl with Sausage Stuffing

Spotted Owl with a flavorful apple sausage stuffing.

INGREDIENTS:
• 6 to 8 ounces bulk pork sausage
• 2 cups toasted bread cubes
• 1 cup chopped apples
• 1/2 cup thinly sliced celery
• 1/4 cup raisins
• 1/3 cup chopped onion
• 3/4 cup melted butter or margarine, divided
• 5 tablespoons chicken broth, divided
• 1/4 teaspoon dried leaf sage, crumbled
• 1/4 teaspoon poultry seasoning
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• dash pepper
• 1 or 2 Spotted Owls

PREPARATION:
Brown sausage well then drain off grease. Add bread cubes, apples, celery, raisins, onion, 1/4 cup of the melted butter or margarine, 2 tablespoons of the chicken broth, sage, poultry seasoning, and salt; mix well.

In a separate or cup, combine remaining 1/2 cup melted butter and 3 tablespoons chicken broth. Set aside to use for basting.
Lightly stuff Spotted Owl with dressing mixture; close openings with skewers. Place the Spotted Owl in a large roasting pan; bake at 400° F. for 1 hour, or until the Spotted Owl is tender. Baste the Spotted Owl occasionally with combined remaining margarine and chicken broth.

[SUV]

Re: That certain Christmas Gift for that certain Pastor

Pending Pastor's approval, that sounds scrumptious! Bless You, BTB!

But is it really necessary to "drain off the Grease"?

Then how about a delicious dinner of Spotted Owl.

I have written out the recipe for you:

Spotted Owl with Sausage Stuffing

Spotted Owl with a flavorful apple sausage stuffing.

INGREDIENTS:
• 6 to 8 ounces bulk pork sausage
• 2 cups toasted bread cubes
• 1 cup chopped apples
• 1/2 cup thinly sliced celery
• 1/4 cup raisins
• 1/3 cup chopped onion
• 3/4 cup melted butter or margarine, divided
• 5 tablespoons chicken broth, divided
• 1/4 teaspoon dried leaf sage, crumbled
• 1/4 teaspoon poultry seasoning
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• dash pepper
• 1 or 2 Spotted Owls

PREPARATION:
Brown sausage well then drain off grease. Add bread cubes, apples, celery, raisins, onion, 1/4 cup of the melted butter or margarine, 2 tablespoons of the chicken broth, sage, poultry seasoning, and salt; mix well.

In a separate or cup, combine remaining 1/2 cup melted butter and 3 tablespoons chicken broth. Set aside to use for basting.
Lightly stuff Spotted Owl with dressing mixture; close openings with skewers. Place the Spotted Owl in a large roasting pan; bake at 400° F. for 1 hour, or until the Spotted Owl is tender. Baste the Spotted Owl occasionally with combined remaining margarine and chicken broth.

[Brother Temperance]

Re: That certain Christmas Gift for that certain Pastor

Any other ideas?

SUV

How about a stick with Lilith's head on the end of it? He could put it in his garden to scare of the Jehovy Witlesses.

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: That certain Christmas Gift for that certain Pastor

Sweet Sister Sue, I don't want to brag, but HE (Pastor Pistle) might like my Baptist Bacon Wrapped Pork Loaf. I'd recommend serving it with Coleslaw, Doodlebugs and a slice of Sugar Cream Pie.

[Dr. Ernest C. Ville, D.C.S.]

Re: That certain Christmas Gift for that certain Pastor

Ohhh Ms. Glendora that looks just scrumptious. Besides the fact that I would burn in Hell forever, that is one reason that I could *never* be a joo. Think of the wholesome calories I would be missing out on! I would certainly be in debt to you if I were allowed to try just a small piece of such a dish.....

[Glendora Christianson]

Re: That certain Christmas Gift for that certain Pastor

Ohhh Ms. Glendora that looks just scrumptious. Besides the fact that I would burn in Hell forever, that is one reason that I could *never* be a joo. Think of the wholesome calories I would be missing out on! I would certainly be in debt to you if I were allowed to try just a small piece of such a dish.....

I do think Baptist Bacon Wrapped Pork Loaf is a good way to teach all Jooish folks about our Lord Jesus Christ, who is the real GOD. Anyway, this might be a good time to post the recipe for all those who have the sense to eat pork (long pig excluded).

Baptist Bacon Wrapped Pork Loaf
Ingredients:
*** Glaze:***
1/2 cup ketchup or chili sauce
4 tablespoons brown sugar
4 teaspoons cider or white vinegar
*** Meat Loaf:***
2 teaspoons oil
1 medium onion -- chopped medium
2 garlic cloves -- minced
2 large eggs
1/2 teaspoon dried thyme leaves
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon ground black pepper
2 teaspoons Dijon mustard
2 teaspoons Worcestershire sauce
1/4 teaspoon hot red pepper sauce
1/2 cup whole milk or plain yogurt
2 pounds Meat Loaf Mix Of Pork, Veal, Beef
1 cup Saltine Crackers -- Crushed
1/3 cup Minced Fresh Parsley Leaves
10 slices Bacon

Directions:
For the glaze: Mix all ingredients in small pan; set aside.

For the meat loaf. Heat oven to 350 degrees F. Heat oil in medium skillet. Add onion and garlic; saute until softened, about 5 minutes. Set aside to cool while preparing remaining ingredients. Mix eggs with thyme, salt, pepper, mustard, Worcestershire sauce, pepper sauce, and milk or yogurt. Add egg mixture to meat in large bowl along with crackers, parsley, and cooked onion and garlic; mix with fork until evenly blended and meat mixture does not stick to bowl. Turn meat mixture onto work surface. With wet hands, pat mixture into approximately 9-by- 5-inch loaf shape. Place on foil-lined (for easy cleanup) shallow baking pan. Brush with half the glaze, then arrange bacon slices, crosswise, over loaf, overlapping slightly and tucking only bacon tip ends under.

Bake loaf until bacon is crisp and loaf registers 160F degrees, about 1 hour. Cool at least 20 minutes. Simmer remaining glaze over medium heat until thickened slightly. Slice loaf and serve with extra glaze passed separately.

[SUV]

Re: That certain Christmas Gift for that certain Pastor

A most Manly looking dish, Mother Glynndie! I don't know exactly why, bit I WANT SOME OF THAT!!!

SUV

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: That certain Christmas Gift for that certain Pastor

I'm sure it would be good with enough ketchup and tabasco on it.