• Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

  • Divine Emmigration

    Good day brothers,

    I come with grave news. Today I was walking down my local street and believed I was sliding down Satan's slippery pole to hell.

    I saw harlots barely out of their whore-mother's wombs, pushing prams with demon kiddies, peering their bald skulls and piercing hateful eyes in the false security of their Maclaren hellwagons.

    Scallywags in school uniforms cussing the lords name; swigging cans of Coke and disobeying their liberal, backboneless single parents.

    I must rid myself of this unholy place. Will someone help me to move to the beautiful lands of America? I can leave tommorow if need bees. Perhaps someone can sponsor a flight (Virgin Atlantic Business Class preferably), or put me up in their Christ's Loveshack for a few months.

    God bless ye all

    Big B
    Flatter me, and I may not believe you. Criticize me, and I may not like you. Ignore me, and I may not forgive you. Encourage me, and I will not forget you. Love me and I may be forced to love you (unless you're a man, in which case I'll kick your ASS).

  • #2
    Re: Divine Emmigration

    It doesn't work like that. You have to save yourself. If you need instructions you can read the KJV1611 Holy Bible and if you have questions feel free to ask them here. We are always glad to help a lost soul.
    5 Reasons why GOD HATES WOMEN!
    To most "Christians" The Bible is like a license agreement. They just scroll to the bottom and click "I agree". All those "Christians" will burn in Hell!
    James 2:10 "For whosoever shall keep the whole law, and yet offend in one point, he is guilty of all."


    • #3
      Re: Divine Emmigration

      I think you would like it here in Piggett. And frankly, I could use a little help around the ranch. I had planned on bringing in a bunch of Haitian kids after the earthquake, but I'm having a hard time getting them into the country. Apparently, their parents are causing a stink and calling our Idaho friends in charge of the operation "kidnappers," among other things. We're just trying to give them an opportunity to learn American and get Saved®.

      A fellow deacon at Piggett Bible Church is an attorney-at-law. I will have to check with him about the indentured servitude laws. I could pay your airfare, fill out the paperwork for your visa, and let you stay in my barn loft in exchange for, say, 15 years of your labor.

      If by then you have accepted Christ Jesus as your personal LORD and Savior, and you exhibit steadfast respect for the Free Enterprise System, we can find a lovely widow for you to marry and become a True American™. At that point, you may begin working toward your own personal American Dream!

      II Thessalonians 1:7-9
      And to you who are troubled rest with us, when the Lord Jesus shall be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels,
      In flaming fire taking vengeance on them that know not God, and that obey not the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ:
      Who shall be punished with everlasting destruction from the presence of the Lord, and from the glory of his power

      The man who is being progressively sanctified will inescapably sanctify his home, school, politics, economics, science, and all things else by understanding and interpreting all things in terms of the Word of God and by bringing all things under the Dominion of Christ the King. -R.J. Rushdoony