Is my Pet cat Demon possessed?

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Stranger than usual behavior from my strangely unusual cat, help?
I have a 2 year old Maine Coon Longhair who at birth seemed all male. He was neutered at 9 months. Earlier this year he had a large abdominal mass which his vet said was a tumor on one of his ovaries, so he was also spayed (I'm serious, the vet said this occurs in about 0.5% of apparently male cats).
Lately he's been stealing my left shoes and I think he's trying to fornicate with them. When I'm barefoot he wraps around my leg (left only, he has no interest in the right one), digs in his claws, starts licking my foot, biting my big toe and starts a humpin' and a bumpin'. He's a big cat (26 pounds) and very hard to fight off. He's also been raping my neighbor's male cat. The vet said he's never heard this about his other patients and can offer no solution and told me I have to "learn to live with my bi-sexual hermaphrocat and his foot fetish". I can't get him into another vet until late November and need a solution for this. I've tried cat repellent. It doesn't help, it just burns the bites and scratches.
Mother Glenndie what is your advice in this matter?

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed?

Here's a picture of Rumpletuskin. Its hard to imagine his anti-Jesus behaviours.

[Pastor Ezekiel]

Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed?

Just drown it. It's just an animal after all.

Genesis 1:26
And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth.

[Nobar King]

Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed?

Whether it's posessed or not, it sure looks like a 'cat demon'.

[Pastor Al E Pistle]

Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed?

Stranger than usual behavior from my strangely unusual cat, help?
I have a 2 year old Maine Coon Longhair who at birth seemed all male. He was neutered at 9 months. Earlier this year he had a large abdominal mass which his vet said was a tumor on one of his ovaries, so he was also spayed (I'm serious, the vet said this occurs in about 0.5% of apparently male cats).
Lately he's been stealing my left shoes and I think he's trying to fornicate with them. When I'm barefoot he wraps around my leg (left only, he has no interest in the right one), digs in his claws, starts licking my foot, biting my big toe and starts a humpin' and a bumpin'. He's a big cat (26 pounds) and very hard to fight off. He's also been raping my neighbor's male cat. The vet said he's never heard this about his other patients and can offer no solution and told me I have to "learn to live with my bi-sexual hermaphrocat and his foot fetish". I can't get him into another vet until late November and need a solution for this. I've tried cat repellent. It doesn't help, it just burns the bites and scratches.
Mother Glenndie what is your advice in this matter?

That isn't a cat, you fool! It is SATAN's demon! After you drown it, go to an optometrist!

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed?

Here's a picture of Rumpletuskin. Its hard to imagine his anti-Jesus behaviours.

Ooooh I have some idea of its behaviors, as we had a critter just like it slinking around the back yard a few years back. Then somebody let it into the house, and all hell broke loose! We had to call animal control finally, and it took two professionals wearing thick gloves to dislodge the thing's claws from the dining room drapes.

Well, they slapped the ... animal ... into a metal wire basket attached to a long pole and took it outside, and we could hear it screeching like a devil all the way down the walkway to the street where they had parked their van. Be sure to wear protective clothing and heavy work gloves while drowning it, Guy, you could get a nasty infection, you know! ...

... a scary experience, Sister Noddy

[Mr. Jingles]

Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed?

Demon-possessed cats...yet another example of what the Clinton Administration has done to America.

[Brother Guy Bayard]

Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed?

Thanks for your advice, Zeke and Noddy. I found some men willing to solve my demon cat problem.
As the Good Book says, Luke 11:9
And I say unto you, Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you.
After the legal entanglements have been cleared up, these men will be available for all manner of demonic pet cleansing.Send me an email, and I'll hook you up.
http://www.azcentral.com/community/p...ng0807-ON.html
Jordan LaPier
The Arizona Republic
Aug. 7, 2007 04:17 PM
Apache Junction police arrested two people Monday accused of intentionally drowning a cat in a swimming pool.

Jacalyn Bucho, 42, of Apache Junction, and Robert Bona, 49, of Peabody, Mass., were arrested on suspicion of felony animal cruelty after they allegedly drowned the cat in a swimming pool early Monday at their Apache Junction home, according to authorities.

Both were booked into Pinal County jail. Police said Bucho and Bona said they drowned the cat.


Should this be filed in the "Persecution of Christians" thread?

[Deaner]

Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed?

I have a 2 year old Maine Coon Longhair

I'm not sure if it would apply to cats as well; but any darkie that comes from the northeast is nothing but trouble. Especially those with long hair. Could be your cat's on the crack pipe.

[edwardmartin755]

Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed?

By the image, I think really your cat may be demon possed and need to check up throughly and go to the church with the cat.

***feline furry porn image removed by your friendly moderator***

[handmaiden]

Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed?

Did not bother to read a single word beyond the post title. Simple answer: Yes.

Simple explanation: All cats are demon possessed.

[Dennis Lukes]

Re: Is my Pet cat Demon possessed?

By the image, I think really your cat may be demon possed and need to check up throughly and go to the church with the cat.

***feline furry porn image removed by your friendly moderator***

Dear idiot,


This thread is over 11 years old. Do you really think that this demonic creature is still alive and in need of your inept and unqualified advice? Before posting on this Godly forum again, I would recommend you keep Ecclesiastes 5:2 in mind.


Yours in Christ,
Dennis Lukes.