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  • Glendora Christianson
    Spiritual Mother of LBC
    True Christian™
    • Sep 2006
    • 2329
    #1

    Do I Have a Problem?

    (I hope Elmer doesn't see this) But my crush on Jeb Bush is getting the best of me. And I can't sleep at night because I'm still waiting for Jesus to tell us that Jeb will be the next president of HIS favorite country. I just pray and pray that its OK with Jesus that I get goosebumps when I think of Jeb.

    HE's Sooooo CUTE!!!
    Attached Files
    Jesus - gentle, dependable overnight relief.
    Tags: None
    • Pastor Ezekiel
      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
       
      • Sep 2006
      • 78556
      #2
      Re: Do I Have a Problem?

      Sister G, while I admire your taste in Godly men, I have to rebuke you for lusting after a mary worshiper. Yes, Jeb is almost as dashingly handsome as your own Husband Elmer. But Jesus has made it pretty clear that He has not chosen the entire Bush clan to bestow His blessings on. Jesus hand picked GWB, but Jeb married a wetback and converted to pope-ism for no reason at all.

      I'll bet Elmer is gonna give you quite a whacking when he sees this. Right after I do my (Male) Christian duty and turn you in.
      Who Will Jesus Damn?

      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

        Comment

        • Hebrew Hammer
          Confirmed Enemy of God
          BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
          • Nov 2007
          • 37
          #3
          Re: Do I Have a Problem?

          Your lust is out of control. Suicide is your only option...

            Comment

            • Pastor Ezekiel
              Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
               
              • Sep 2006
              • 78556
              #4
              Re: Do I Have a Problem?

              Originally posted by Hebrew Hammer View Post
              Your lust is out of control. Suicide is your only option...
              In another thread you attacked us for "wishing ill upon another person." You said it was "un-Christian."

              I guess we can see why you are unsaved scum.
              Who Will Jesus Damn?

              Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

              Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

              Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                Comment

                • Hebrew Hammer
                  Confirmed Enemy of God
                  BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                  • Nov 2007
                  • 37
                  #5
                  Re: Do I Have a Problem?

                  Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                  In another thread you attacked us for "wishing ill upon another person." You said it was "un-Christian."

                  I guess we can see why you are unsaved scum.
                  If being "unsaved scum" means that I get to keep my sanity and not turn into ignorant, intolerant Baptist then I'll jump in Satan's lap right now...

                    Comment

                    • Pastor Ezekiel
                      Putting the "stud" back in Bible Study
                       
                      • Sep 2006
                      • 78556
                      #6
                      Re: Do I Have a Problem?

                      Originally posted by Hebrew Hammer View Post
                      If being "unsaved scum" means that I get to keep my sanity and not turn into ignorant, intolerant Baptist then I'll jump in Satan's lap right now...
                      No, it means you are hellbound. You come in here mocking Jesus, and hellfire is what you'll get. Take a look at THIS.
                      Who Will Jesus Damn?

                      Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

                      Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

                      Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

                        Comment

                        • Hebrew Hammer
                          Confirmed Enemy of God
                          BANNED from Landover -- Aeternal Damnation Assured
                          • Nov 2007
                          • 37
                          #7
                          Re: Do I Have a Problem?

                          Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                          No, it means you are hellbound. You come in here mocking Jesus, and hellfire is what you'll get. Take a look at THIS.

                          Where exactly have I mocked Jesus?

                            Comment

                            • Marshall
                              Righteous and Patriotic
                              Highest body count at the VFW
                              True Christian™
                              • Oct 2006
                              • 3322
                              #8
                              Re: Do I Have a Problem?

                              You know Sister Glendora, I have the same problem every time I see Ann Coulter.
                              She gets my dander up in a good way.
                              God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.

                                Comment

                                • Marshall
                                  Righteous and Patriotic
                                  Highest body count at the VFW
                                  True Christian™
                                  • Oct 2006
                                  • 3322
                                  #9
                                  Re: Do I Have a Problem?

                                  Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
                                  Take a look at THIS.
                                  I love that lesson! I teach the same story in my Sunday School Pastor Ezekiel. If anything might sway this unrepentant mocker of Christ it is a genuine Chick Tract.
                                  God bless America, the Second Amendment and the Constitution. God bless the United States Marine Corps and all who fight for Jesus in third world cess pools. God bless the GOP and all they stand for, Truth, Honesty and the American people. God bless Landover Baptist Church and all True Christians™ the world over. Curses to our Muslim President, his failure is our Salvation.

                                    Comment

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