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Last night as I was extinguishing the candle lights at home, I had an unholy visit. It was just after 9pm and there was an almighty rattle on the door. As my house is quite remote and I don't get (m)any visitors I was a little perturbed. Poor Pauline was terrified, she thought that Jared, our prize bull, had escaped again.
As I descended the stairs, I could swear that the temperature in my hallway dropped as I could see my breath in from of me. I approached the door and heard a gutteral rasp, calling out my name. I was terrified, I thought a demon was at my door. Trembling, I entered the front reception room and peeked through the net blinds; my worst fears were confirmed. It was worse than any demon, it was a priest. Dressed from head to toe in Black and driving a stylish Lada Riva, no doubt paid for by pilfered church funds.
I dropped to my knees and grabbed my new KJV bible and turned to the Psalms and prayed; Psalm 23:4, Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
As well as Psalm 57:1, Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast.
Within seconds I heard the roar of his sleek vehicle drive off my property. Brothers and sisters, I have praised God today for his deliverance. I wanted to take it one step further and tell you all how with God all things are possible, even overcoming the demons of rome. The verses above have been my light and my holy sword against satan.
However, one problem remains - how to I keep them away from my property. They can enter through a number gateways and lanes, I can protect myself and family once they are on my land, but how do I stop them traversing onto it in the first place. Is there such a thing as a 'Scare-Priest', you know like a Scare-crow? Should I dress some of my Scarecrows up in female garb and leave them at the gateways?
As I descended the stairs, I could swear that the temperature in my hallway dropped as I could see my breath in from of me. I approached the door and heard a gutteral rasp, calling out my name. I was terrified, I thought a demon was at my door. Trembling, I entered the front reception room and peeked through the net blinds; my worst fears were confirmed. It was worse than any demon, it was a priest. Dressed from head to toe in Black and driving a stylish Lada Riva, no doubt paid for by pilfered church funds.
I dropped to my knees and grabbed my new KJV bible and turned to the Psalms and prayed; Psalm 23:4, Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.
As well as Psalm 57:1, Be merciful unto me, O God, be merciful unto me: for my soul trusteth in thee: yea, in the shadow of thy wings will I make my refuge, until these calamities be overpast.
Within seconds I heard the roar of his sleek vehicle drive off my property. Brothers and sisters, I have praised God today for his deliverance. I wanted to take it one step further and tell you all how with God all things are possible, even overcoming the demons of rome. The verses above have been my light and my holy sword against satan.
However, one problem remains - how to I keep them away from my property. They can enter through a number gateways and lanes, I can protect myself and family once they are on my land, but how do I stop them traversing onto it in the first place. Is there such a thing as a 'Scare-Priest', you know like a Scare-crow? Should I dress some of my Scarecrows up in female garb and leave them at the gateways?
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