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  • #1

    God is in his body

    So one of my friends seems to be having problems. I think maybe he is feeling confused and depressed. The reason I think this is because today I saw he had freshly carved the word "god" onto his flesh. Any suggestions or thoughts?
    My friends Mary Jane and Larry Ashy know exactly what you need to feel good. Let them show you the way to relaxation.
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  • #2
    Re: God is in his body

    Originally posted by QueenWink View Post
    So one of my friends seems to be having problems. I think maybe he is feeling confused and depressed. The reason I think this is because today I saw he had freshly carved the word "god" onto his flesh. Any suggestions or thoughts?
    Yes, you and your fag friend should stop mocking Jesus.
    Who Will Jesus Damn?

    Here is a partial list from just a few scripture verses:

    Hypocrites (Matthew 24:51), The Unforgiving (Mark 11:26), Homosexuals (Romans 1:26, 27), Fornicators (Romans 1:29), The Wicked (Romans 1:29), The Covetous (Romans 1:29), The Malicious (Romans 1:29), The Envious (Romans 1:29), Murderers (Romans 1:29), The Deceitful (Romans 1:29), Backbiters (Romans 1:30), Haters of God (Romans 1:30), The Despiteful (Romans 1:30), The Proud (Romans 1:30), Boasters (Romans 1:30), Inventors of evil (Romans 1:30), Disobedient to parents (Romans 1:30), Covenant breakers (Romans 1:31), The Unmerciful (Romans 1:31), The Implacable (Romans 1:31), The Unrighteous (1Corinthians 6:9), Idolaters (1Corinthians 6:9), Adulterers (1Corinthians 6:9), The Effeminate (1Corinthians 6:9), Thieves (1Corinthians 6:10), Drunkards (1Corinthians 6:10), Reviler (1Corinthians 6:10), Extortioners (1Corinthians 6:10), The Fearful (Revelation 21:8), The Unbelieving (Revelation 21:8), The Abominable (Revelation 21:8), Whoremongers (Revelation 21:8), Sorcerers (Revelation 21:8), All Liars (Revelation 21:8)

    Need Pastoral Advice? Contact me privately at PastorEzekiel@landoverbaptist.net TODAY!!

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    • #3
      Re: God is in his body

      Originally posted by Pastor Ezekiel View Post
      Yes, you and your fag friend should stop mocking Jesus.

      No puns Pastor?
      What's happening? The strength of our saviour deserting you?
      Have you sinned perchance? Something you need to share?
      Something better not shared?
      Amicus est tamquam alter idem

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      • #4
        Re: God is in his body

        Originally posted by Actor Incumbant Potato View Post
        No puns Pastor?
        What's happening? The strength of our saviour deserting you?
        Have you sinned perchance? Something you need to share?
        Something better not shared?

        No puns, but some punishment, for our Latin cunning linguist today. How dare you mock and insult our Godly Pastor in the discharge of his Divine rebukes. We are not here to entertain you. Those infraction points are redeemable for a free trip to eternal damnation.
        Hell's foundations quiver at the shout of praise;
        brothers, lift your voices, loud your anthems raise.
        ...and get off my lawn
        sigpic

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        • #5
          Re: God is in his body

          Originally posted by WilliamJenningsBryan View Post
          No puns, but some punishment, for our Latin cunning linguist today. How dare you mock and insult our Godly Pastor in the discharge of his Divine rebukes. We are not here to entertain you. Those infraction points are redeemable for a free trip to eternal damnation.
          Some remarks are worth eternal damnation? I beleive condemnation by a mortal to another mortal, the one condemning the other takes on the burden of both.
          When you kill a man, you're a murderer.

          Kill many, and you're a conqueror.

          Kill them all, and you're a god.

          Spew simplistic aphroisms, and you're an asshat. Like me.

          Comment

          • #6
            Re: God is in his body

            Originally posted by Sefirosu View Post
            Some remarks are worth eternal damnation? I beleive condemnation by a mortal to another mortal, the one condemning the other takes on the burden of both.
            Oh well then, since you believe it it must be true huh? Next time I need moral advice I'll make sure to ask you

            Give me a break.
            Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of Death, I will fear no evil...

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