What to do with a False Bible?

[Yeshua bar Yusuf]

Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

I recently had the misfortune to be visited by some Jehovah's Witnesses, and despite my protests, they left one of their false bibles in my home. The New World Translation, which is obviously not the unaltered Word of God. I come to you because I don't know what to do with this unholy book.

I fear that having it in my home will be as an invitation to Satan. I can already feel the pull of drinking, fornication, and homosinuality after just one day of having this abomination in my home.

I don't want to throw it away or give it away, as I would be spreading the false Word of God should some homeless person find it in the dumpster or the local Goodwill store.

I'm not sure if it is safe to burn, as there might be one or two passages that are identical to the KJV - we all know how Satan loves to deceive, and what better way to deceive than to insert a kernel of truth? I cannot bring myself to read through this dreaded text to verify if I would be burning any part of God's Word, so I can't say for certain if burning it would be safe.

Please help me, Brothers and Sisters in Christ.

Yours in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,
Yeshua

[s. warnin]

Re: What to do with a False Bible?

Ahhh, sheesh Yeshau...why did you let them into your home where they could plant their poison? Why?

Now you really gotta problem and maybe you should seek pastoral advice on this one.

I will be praying for you.

[Yeshua bar Yusuf]

Re: What to do with a False Bible?

I wasn't going to let them in at first, Brother Warnin, but I recalled Hebrews 13:2, and when they told me they wanted to talk about my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, I felt obligated to let them in.

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: What to do with a False Bible?

Burning the filthy thing is appropriate in this case. Jesus warns us that some may try to make a mockery of God's Word in the KJV1611 Holy Bible.

Revelation 22:18 "For I testify unto every man that heareth the words of the prophecy of this book, If any man shall add unto these things, God shall add unto him the plagues that are written in this book:"

Be sure to soak it in gasoline for an hour to ensure complete combustion. And have your doctor check you for plague contamination from the hell-bound heretics that visited you.

In Christ

[Yeshua bar Yusuf]

Re: What to do with a False Bible?

Brother Harold, thank you for your quick reply. I've already placed the infernal thing in a bucket of gasoline, which I had to siphon from my Ford Excursion since the godless hindoo at the gas station refused to let me pump gas into a bucket even after I explained why I needed it.

Should I also burn the furniture they sat on?

Yours in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,
Yeshua

[Mary Etheldreda]

Re: What to do with a False Bible?

Should I also burn the furniture they sat on?

Oh goodness, if something this diabolical happened to me I couldn't not burn the furniture they sat on. How would you know they didn't bring the AIDS in with them?

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: What to do with a False Bible?

Should I also burn the furniture they sat on?

Yours in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,
Yeshua

Well, that could quickly get expensive. I'll leave it to the womenfolk here on how to disinfect. One of the simpletons surely has a way to save the furniture.

In Christ

[Peter Roy]

Re: What to do with a False Bible?

Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

I recently had the misfortune to be visited by some Jehovah's Witnesses, and despite my protests, they left one of their false bibles in my home. The New World Translation, which is obviously not the unaltered Word of God. I come to you because I don't know what to do with this unholy book.

I fear that having it in my home will be as an invitation to Satan. I can already feel the pull of drinking, fornication, and homosinuality after just one day of having this abomination in my home.

I don't want to throw it away or give it away, as I would be spreading the false Word of God should some homeless person find it in the dumpster or the local Goodwill store.

I'm not sure if it is safe to burn, as there might be one or two passages that are identical to the KJV - we all know how Satan loves to deceive, and what better way to deceive than to insert a kernel of truth? I cannot bring myself to read through this dreaded text to verify if I would be burning any part of God's Word, so I can't say for certain if burning it would be safe.

Please help me, Brothers and Sisters in Christ.

Yours in my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,
Yeshua

Maybe read it? So you can make a list of faults and misinterpretations and send it to them to make them listen to YOUR gospel of Thruth. Who knows? Maybe some of them will convert.

Or simply send the book back to them directly?

[MitzaLizalor]

Re: What to do with a False Bible?

Well, that could quickly get expensive. I'll leave it to the womenfolk here on how to disinfect. One of the simpletons surely has a way to save the furniture.

In Christ

Fumigation (whole house) with dry-cleaning fluid ought to do it.

[Yeshua bar Yusuf]

Re: What to do with a False Bible?

And have your doctor check you for plague contamination from the hell-bound heretics that visited you.

Brother Harold, thank you for the advice, but I no longer go to sickular doctors, only faith healers. The last time I went to a 'medical expert', he tried to put his finger inside my rectum, which convinced me that all 'doctors' are secretly homosinuals who use 'science' and 'medicine' to gain new recruits to further the queer agenda