Accosted by a Wild Greek at the Piggly Wiggly!

[Humongous]

well, I went down to the piggly wiggly over the weekend to pick up some kitty litter, adult diapers and other necessities? when suddenly, I'm a set upon by a wild Greek what's more body hair than man! I knew he was a Greek on account of his Mediterranean disposition, and the subtle odor of fasolada bean soup emittin from his pores? well, he started yammerin on in some sorta Zeus worship talk? but by that point, I was already curled up in the fecal position on the floor squealin, and shieldin myself with my travel size KJV Bible!

well, The Good Book musta up n scared him off, Praise God, cause when I looked up, he was gone! Daddy (RIP) always used to tell me, "Never trust them Greeks! expecially ancient Irish Greeks liken them Collin Ferral homer types from that Alexandro movie!" daddy was quite the film critic after a few glasses a windex! well, I took daddy's advice to heart, and it saved my bacon that day!

anyhow, tomorrow is Bath Night, and I was wondering ifn they was any good bath salts I should employ to help warsh the Greek off? He didn't touch me, Praise God, but I may have caught some Mediterranean Zeus sickness from bein so near a Greek. thanks for the advice brothers and sisters!

Yours in Christ,
Lori H

[Brother Harold Porter]

Re: Accosted by a Wild Greek at the Piggly Wiggly!

You poor thing. Nearly all Greeks are homosexual and you could have been exposed to any number of infectious diseases. My first gay partner when I decided to be queer was, of course, a Greek and I always felt like a sleaze after that filthy episode in the toilet.

I recommend a 50/50 solution of Methyl Ethyl Ketone and Acetone applied with a stiff wire brush. It won't be pleasant, but you just can't be too safe, given the risks.

Good luck young lady.

In Christ

[Adam Fag]

Re: Accosted by a Wild Greek at the Piggly Wiggly!

You poor thing. Nearly all Greeks are homosexual and you could have been exposed to any number of infectious diseases. My first gay partner when I decided to be queer was, of course, a Greek and I always felt like a sleaze after that filthy episode in the toilet.

I recommend a 50/50 solution of Methyl Ethyl Ketone and Acetone applied with a stiff wire brush. It won't be pleasant, but you just can't be too safe, given the risks.

Good luck young lady.

In Christ

Try not to drink the MEK or breathe the fumes.

[SUV]

Re: Accosted by a Wild Greek at the Piggly Wiggly!

Was he breaking his glasses all over the store? That's what those "people" are like!

[Humongous]

Re: Accosted by a Wild Greek at the Piggly Wiggly!

hoowee! thank you kindly, Brother Harold! I think I can get them chemicals "Methyl Ethyl Ketone and Acetone" from Cousin Jeb, he's got a lot of solvents left over ever on account of his Meth Lab went outta business?

yic

[Adam Fag]

Re: Accosted by a Wild Greek at the Piggly Wiggly!

Was he breaking his glasses all over the store? That's what those "people" are like!

Don't they break plates too?

If you watch that, best turn the sound off I'd say

[SUV]

Re: Accosted by a Wild Greek at the Piggly Wiggly!

Don't they break plates too?

Then they yell "Oops-o" or something like that?

If they had JESUS they wouldn't be so clumsy! And what if there's a real Good Dinner on that plate with lots of GRAVY on it? Disgusting!

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: Accosted by a Wild Greek at the Piggly Wiggly!

One of the odd things about Greeks is their language. They pretend to carry on conversations, but really don't understand each other at all.

You may have heard the phrase, "It's all Greek to me." The meaning of that is no one understands anything a Greek says, even other Greeks.

Another thing is they don't have any numerical system. They are currently in financial trouble because there was no way to keep books.

You are lucky to be away from anyone who is Greek.

[Rev. M. Rodimer]

Re: Accosted by a Wild Greek at the Piggly Wiggly!

I've been reading on Fox News about the "Greek contagion" contaminating Europe. I sure hope you didn't catch the Lazy Greedy Socialism from him, friend!

Test yourself . . .

Have you suddenly felt a desire for "someone else" to pay for your food, or rent, or health care?

Have you begun thinking that "health care is a right"?

Have you looked at a homeless person and, instead of recognizing that God is punishing or testing him, think, "With only a slight increase in taxes on the wealthy (that is, anyone who earns more than me), we could provide housing and food for all the homeless people!"

Do you feel an urge to riot in the streets and burn privately-owned shops because your welfare payments are being cut?

Do you envy those with more money than you, and deride them as evil to justify your desire to steal their money and "redistribute" it?

Oh dear, oh dear. I hope you haven't caught the Greek contagion!

[SUV]

Re: Accosted by a Wild Greek at the Piggly Wiggly!

You may have heard the phrase, "It's all Greek to me." The meaning of that is no one understands anything a Greek says, even other Greeks.

So when you hear "The Greeks don't like no Freaks" does this also mean they don't even like each other?

Actually, I heard that they do like each other, but in ways that cannot be alluded to on our Christian Family Board