[JennyD]

Re: Can somebody help me to be a man? Please?

Careful there, Jenny - you'll slip in that puddle of drool you're creating.

Don't worry, dear. I'm not after your tragic wreck of a checkbook husband.

[SUV]

Re: Can somebody help me to be a man? Please?



Hawley Harvey Crippen?

[Dr. Otto Bond Sr.]

Re: Can somebody help me to be a man? Please?

Gotta be quick here. She went out dancing, but forgot to lock me under the stairs.

Can someone help me? I don't know what to do anymore. My wife doesn't acknowledge me in public, calls me names, and kicks and beats me if I displease her. I still have bruises from when I served her a slightly runny egg last week, and my blanket is still damp from last night, when she threw a bucket of urine on me as I slept so I "don't forget [my] place".

She makes me cook and clean and serve her Wiccan coven's every need. Bring them cookies and ice cream, be their footstool or spittoon, or scrub the baby blood out from under their nails. At least they say it's baby blood.

I have read a bit on this forum and see that the men here are in charge of their households, and aren't locked in a cage under the stairs. How do you do it? Why don't your wives flog you? Why don't you have cages, like the one she had waiting for me on our wedding night, when she told me she'd dismissed all my household servants because I'd be doing the chores from then on?

Could Jesus help me to be a man like Bobby-Joe or Deaner? I miss sleeping in my bed upstairs, and I'm tired of wearing pink fuzzy slippers and washing dishes and praying to a tree.


PS - Please don't tell her I was here. If she finds out, she'll beat me black and blue again and lock me under the stairs without supper. Just like the time i tried to send a note out through the postman.

This whole thing is pathetic. If she wants to act like a man, treat her like a man. Next time she hits you, yell "Demon, out!" and hit her back. She'll get the picture real quick that you're not some pansy push-over to be dominated by a leather-clad dominatrix wife. Households like yours are the reason gas prices are so (relatively) high! You should be ashamed of yourself!

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Can somebody help me to be a man? Please?

I hope she isn't making him wear the cruel shoes.

Hilarous book.

Not a fashion statement I would encourage.

[Justina Thyme]

Re: Can somebody help me to be a man? Please?

Oh, teehee, now Brother Nobar, that's just enough to make a good Christian lady such as myself blush!

[Nobar King]

Re: Can somebody help me to be a man? Please?

I hope she isn't making him wear the cruel shoes.

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Can somebody help me to be a man? Please?

Yes, maybe he'll be like that old-time comedian Steve Martin and get ...

HAPPY FEET!

Yes indeed, Sister JT, and that's certainly better than getting ...

COLD FEET!

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Can somebody help me to be a man? Please?

Yes, maybe he'll be like that old-time comedian Steve Martin and get...

HAPPY FEET!

Happy Feet - really cute movie

http://www2.warnerbros.com/happyfeet/

[Justina Thyme]

Re: Can somebody help me to be a man? Please?

Yes, maybe he'll be like that old-time comedian Steve Martin and get...

HAPPY FEET!

[Sister Noddy]

Re: Can somebody help me to be a man? Please?

You need to get rid of her, and find yourself a decent, kind, loving True Christian™ lady ...

... Perhaps when the DOF has made you a widower, you'll find such a True Christian™ lady ...

This is excellent advice, Sister JD! Perhaps poor, poor Husband without will be able to accomplish this once he escapes the house!

He'll have to break his way out from that cage under the stairs first, then make a run for it!

She'll be out dancing after all, she has just gotta dance!

[Sperman]

Re: Can somebody help me to be a man? Please?

if your grandmother is setting up these "dates," she's probably also getting a cut of the money, making her a pimp.

My Gran's a pimp??? Wow! I never new! Cooooooooooooolllll !

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Can somebody help me to be a man? Please?

???

Never said they wer hookers !! Who look lik a retarded now??? Never ass-hume anythin, 'cause it makes an ass out of me an u, asshat !!

They actually my grandmother's frends. My gran-gran set it all up cos she scared I still be a ugly fat virgin loser by time I in my teens, so she fix me up wi a few of her buddies. Got 2 them as regulars now! Dunno why they charge me??

A woman who charges for sex is a hooker. if your grandmother is setting up these "dates," she's probably also getting a cut of the money, making her a pimp.

[Sperman]

Re: Can somebody help me to be a man? Please?

So how long have you been going to blind hookers?

???

Never said they wer hookers !! Who look lik a retarded now??? Never ass-hume anythin, 'cause it makes an ass out of me an u, asshat !!

They actually my grandmother's frends. My gran-gran set it all up cos she scared I still be a ugly fat virgin loser by time I in my teens, so she fix me up wi a few of her buddies. Got 2 them as regulars now! Dunno why they charge me??

[Old Iron Crotch]

Re: Can somebody help me to be a man? Please?

Don be silly! ALL wiccins are vegantarian!


I'm not Wiccan - Pagan, but not Wiccan. And I know plenty of omnivorous Wiccans.

Hey, I even one! Jus not a proper one. I put, lik, way loadsa vegables an salad on my meatball subs! They tastey gooooooooooooood!

I don't eat fast food.


Hey, asshat! Thats jus creul! The las girl I got laid wi said I look jus like Meatloaf - an she even gav me a discount cos I so good looking. She told me she norm charge double what I pay!

So how long have you been going to blind hookers?

[Sperman]

Re: Can somebody help me to be a man? Please?

I'm not vegan or vegetarian.

Don be silly! ALL wiccins are vegantarian!

Hey, I even one! Jus not a proper one. I put, lik, way loadsa vegables an salad on my meatball subs! They tastey gooooooooooooood!

and you're not Meatloaf. You're just gross.

Hey, asshat! Thats jus creul! The las girl I got laid wi said I look jus like Meatloaf - an she even gav me a discount cos I so good looking. She told me she norm charge double what I pay!