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While the rest of the world may view dropping your pants and taking a dump on a busy downtown sidewalk to be a rancid public indecency, we Christians know that we are to pay no attention to society's norms. Society's norms are perverted, and lead to things like acceptance of homosexuality and abortion.
Instead, we follow GOD's instructions for our lives in the Bible. That's why I don't mind squatting on a street corner or soft, grassy patch of public property to relieve myself when the urge hits.
If I was doing this in my own way by my own rules, yes, it would be disgusting, but I am doing it in accordance with the Bible:
And thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon; and it shall be, when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig therewith, and shalt turn back and cover that which cometh from thee:
For the LORD thy God walketh in the midst of thy camp, to deliver thee, and to give up thine enemies before thee; therefore shall thy camp be holy: that he see no unclean thing in thee, and turn away from thee. -Deuteronomy 23:13-14
It is an established fact that GOD ALMIGHTY, our Creator and Savior, strides the Earth with us, and He does not want to step in our poop.
GOD commands His people to carry shovels or paddles with which to bury their feces after they have deposited a fresh loaf on the ground. That's why I keep a dustpan which can easily attach to the barrel of the .12 gauge shotgun I keep in my car.
Though I have to advise you from personal experience: Be careful not to accidentally pull the trigger while burying your feces. The results are very unpleasant.
If you keep your poop scoop in the car like me, you may want to find a public drinking fountain to wash it off before storing it after each use. GOD is our co-pilot, and He surely doesn't want the air in the car being fouled up.
Once your Christian poops have been safely buried where JESUS cannot see them or step in them, you are free to go about your business!
Never let it be said that the timeless lessons of scripture are no longer applicable to modern life!
Instead, we follow GOD's instructions for our lives in the Bible. That's why I don't mind squatting on a street corner or soft, grassy patch of public property to relieve myself when the urge hits.
If I was doing this in my own way by my own rules, yes, it would be disgusting, but I am doing it in accordance with the Bible:
And thou shalt have a paddle upon thy weapon; and it shall be, when thou wilt ease thyself abroad, thou shalt dig therewith, and shalt turn back and cover that which cometh from thee:
For the LORD thy God walketh in the midst of thy camp, to deliver thee, and to give up thine enemies before thee; therefore shall thy camp be holy: that he see no unclean thing in thee, and turn away from thee. -Deuteronomy 23:13-14
It is an established fact that GOD ALMIGHTY, our Creator and Savior, strides the Earth with us, and He does not want to step in our poop.
GOD commands His people to carry shovels or paddles with which to bury their feces after they have deposited a fresh loaf on the ground. That's why I keep a dustpan which can easily attach to the barrel of the .12 gauge shotgun I keep in my car.
Though I have to advise you from personal experience: Be careful not to accidentally pull the trigger while burying your feces. The results are very unpleasant.
If you keep your poop scoop in the car like me, you may want to find a public drinking fountain to wash it off before storing it after each use. GOD is our co-pilot, and He surely doesn't want the air in the car being fouled up.
Once your Christian poops have been safely buried where JESUS cannot see them or step in them, you are free to go about your business!
Never let it be said that the timeless lessons of scripture are no longer applicable to modern life!
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