How can I keep out and chase away gay demons?

[John Allen]

As some of you know, I am an owner of a mini-market. Inevitably, lots of people have passed here. Unofortunately, many people are sinners, and sometimes, even fags dare to enter! Though I kick them out as soon as possible, I am afraid some demons might have taken the opportunity to enter the mini-market. This is a very serious issue, as they could harm my family. It is very well protected, but I am afraid it is not enough. Can you give me some ideas?

[Johny Joe Hold]

Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons?

As some of you know, I am an owner of a mini-market. Inevitably, lots of people have passed here. Unofortunately, many people are sinners, and sometimes, even fags dare to enter! Though I kick them out as soon as possible, I am afraid some demons might have taken the opportunity to enter the mini-market. This is a very serious issue, as they could harm my family. It is very well protected, but I am afraid it is not enough. Can you give me some ideas?

He is very expensive, but Pastor Zeke can clean out the most persistent demons. He is know all over the country.

For yourself, meeting the public all day which will invariably include some homers, I'd advise wearing the magic necklace Pat Robertson sells. We may market in here at LBC eventually.

All the best in your business endeavor.

http://www.newslo.com/pat-robertson-unveils-gay-repelling-necklace/

[John Allen]

Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons?

He is very expensive, but Pastor Zeke can clean out the most persistent demons. He is know all over the country.

For yourself, meeting the public all day which will invariably include some homers, I'd advise wearing the magic necklace Pat Robertson sells. We may market in here at LBC eventually.

All the best in your business endeavor.

http://www.newslo.com/pat-robertson-...ling-necklace/

Thanks, Mr. Hold. I will get the necklace as soon as possible. Thankfully, most demons were not very persistent and got away with an exorcism, but they still pose a threat for the Allen family. Imagine one of my sons becoming homers! Do you know if a necklace kept somewhere in the mini-market will have an effect?

[Nobar King]

Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons?

If they're gay demons they're probably already 'out'.

[John Allen]

Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons?

If they're gay demons they're probably already 'out'.

A very valid point, Mr. King

[WWJDnow]

Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons?

Maybe this is too philosophical a point for my meager training in Bible studies, but are there demons that aren't flaming homos?

[John Allen]

Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons?

Probably not. Homosexuality is an abomination (Leviticus 18:22), so demons must have it in them. They are evil after all.

[see_the_light]

Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons?

Maybe this is too philosophical a point for my meager training in Bible studies, but are there demons that aren't flaming homos?

I guess they're into upsetting GOD anyway they can, so they can be "straight" just to prick HIM (I'm thinking about Genesis 6:2).

PRAISE THE LORD!

[John Allen]

Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons?

Perhaps they're pansexual. (Attracted to everything)

[see_the_light]

Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons?

Perhaps they're pansexual. (Attracted to everything)

Just to spite GOD, HE wanted them chaste!

Matthew 22:30

For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.

But GOD took care of them.

II Peter 2:4

For if God spared not the angels that sinned, but cast them down to hell, and delivered them into chains of darkness, to be reserved unto judgment;

PRAISE THE LORD!

[John Allen]

Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons?

Just to spite GOD, HE wanted them chaste!

Matthew 22:30

For in the resurrection they neither marry, nor are given in marriage, but are as the angels of God in heaven.

But GOD took care of them.

II Peter 2:4

For if God spared not the angels that sinned, but cast them down to hell, and delivered them into chains of darkness, to be reserved unto judgment;

PRAISE THE LORD!

No matter what a demon's nature is, it will always cause harm. (And potentially make peopke homers) But brother, how could demons exit Hell?

[Des]

Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons?

Perhaps they're pansexual. (Attracted to everything)

I'm a bit confused by this. As indeed there are only two sexes, man and woman, would not the term for this be bi-sexual? Or is this some deviance far more foul than homosexuality in which the person lusts after sheep, squid, knotholes, sandpaper, oysters, plastic bags, telephone poles, Mexicans, etc?

[John Allen]

Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons?

I'm a bit confused by this. As indeed there are only two sexes, man and woman, would not the term for this be bi-sexual? Or is this some deviance far more foul than homosexuality in which the person lusts after sheep, squid, knotholes, sandpaper, oysters, plastic bags, telephone poles, Mexicans, etc?

Don't forget children and corpses. And they are all sex addicts too. If I had a day, I could not list all the verses that damn this sexuality.

[see_the_light]

Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons?

No matter what a demon's nature is, it will always cause harm. (And potentially make peopke homers) But brother, how could demons exit Hell?

Only some mentioned in Genesis are stuck there, others ...

Revelation12:9

And the great dragon was cast out, that old serpent, called the Devil, and Satan, which deceiveth the whole world: he was cast out into the earth, and his angels were cast out with him.

They just use hell for R&R... for the time being.

PRAISE THE LORD!

[John Allen]

Re: How can I keep out and chase away gay demons?

They will be punished when the Rapture hapens, along with the sinners then. That is a fitting fate for such abominable beings.